Their First Fight
Their First Fight
Their first fight was not meant to be that impactful. They'd gone a whole year without meaning anything less to each other. And yet, here he was standing, in the midst of something important she's been doing, asking her some really ridiculous questions even she didn't know the exact answers to.
While she knew deep down in the hollow buried region of her heart that she shouldn't take his words too seriously. She knew he just wanted to provoke her when he himself knew that there was just no reasoning with his questions. She did agree that they've been good friends to each other for more than a year now, and she, as faithful and giving as she has ever been, never asked more than that from him. Or that's what she kept telling herself since she's no reason to. As he already had a girl he wanted to propose to for the marriage when they first met.
So sweet and enchanting their relationship sounded like, that indeed, she ended up becoming the close friend, and the only friend of his with whom he confided secret chit-bits of his relationship with. But over a year, she couldn't deny that she had grown to desire more than that respectable space that he used to keep between them whenever they hang out. At times, she felt self-loathe and disgusted with herself for wanting a man who already had someone beloved and precious in his life. She knew for the sake of being a well-bred daughter from an upper-class family, she restrained a lot from spilling out her feelings to him under any moment of weakness which she might encounter while this much being with him. And so, owing to her own benefit, for the past few months, she had tried to keep as much space from him as was possible, keeping all her natural urges in her unexpected limits of self-control.
She did agree she had helped him a lot in his relationship, unknowingly though, or maybe as a true friend that she has always been to him, but when it came to her, she hardly uttered a syllable on her own life, in the hidden fear that she might say more in the process than what she originally planned to tell him from the beginning. But she needs to give it to him, that indeed, he had proved himself to be as true a friend to her as she was to him, for the fact that he never let her get away with any of her excuses for not opening up about her life. Always he caught her in the middle of changing the topic, and more so, he even assisted her a lot in his own way in how to actually be more open and sharing about her troubles, problems and life.
At some point, her parents started liking seeing the two of them together, and from their pleased curly cheeks and those sweet tender smiles, she had guessed that they liked him more than she thought that they ever would. After all, he hardly had anything that any parent would dislike. He came from an influential family itself and while he had so much he could inherit from his father, he still had much more impressive collections of his own degrees, achievements and positions that would make any girl drool for him. But I knew that was not what I wanted from him, she thought to herself.
And no matter how many times she insisted in urgency about his being already in a relationship with someone, her parent's efforts, or what they say, expectations never suffered a single scar as the next day, they still couldn't keep their words to themselves from pointing out in various ways of how actually good they both look together. But that was something not fully under my control, mom and dad. It needs the consent, love and promises of certain someone else too.
I sighed as I turned towards my laptop where I was writing research papers for my next presentation to be organized the very next morning. If only this already tiring night could pass away peacefully. But that was only something which I could wish for since he decided to shut my laptop the exact moment I had decided to avoid his questions. Which, to be honest, I had already planned to, if he ever mentioned them to me.
"What do you want, Ethan?" I asked, still seated on the study chair.
"Don't avoid my question, Ellie."
"I'm not avoiding anything. Just to be more clear, I don't want to talk about all this." I said, as I stood up, and walked towards my cupboard to pick up the files required for the presentation I needed to give tomorrow in any condition to get that promotion which I had been striving for so long.
"And you expect me to believe that?" He asked as I felt him standing behind me, his voice reverberating louder than ever.
"If you don't want to, it's all your will." I said, pretending to be as nonchalant as ever. While inside, I had been dying to run away the moment I felt his presence in my room for the first time since everything started.
"I just don't understand what was so hard in informing me about that guy-"
"Hard is not the word you should be using when it's like the subject was not such a huge topic or a great deal to be discussed about-"
"Discussed? We don't discuss, Ellie. We share. No matter how trivial the topic is, we tell each other things, and we have always been doing that for as long as I remember."
"Because those things were worth talking about. Seriously..." I turned towards him, looking as frustrated as ever. "It's not something that we should be arguing about."
"It's not something? You went on a full date with him, you guys ate, talked, laughed and did whatsoever my mind can't imagine all that stuff by itself, so you should've told me-"
"We just went on a date, Ethan. It was not something to brag about in my age where a grown-up twenty-six-year-old woman should've done more than that." I said as I started pulling covers on my study table to put them all in place back again, dusting imaginary dirt in the process.
Trying to do as much work as I can to avoid him.
"And I'm being informed about all this from some burly looking college friend of yours who I think you don't even pay any attention to, no matter how many times he tried to pull his ropes of attraction on you."
"That's something for me to decide. For now, I need to sleep as I have an-"
"And you were planning to marry all by yourself without bringing anything to my consideration?"
Hearing his words, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I think you're in no position to guide me here." I walked two steps, towards him, as I stopped in the middle of the room to stare at his full face now. "And you don't need to consider anything for me. I think I can decide who I want to marry. You already have a girlfriend whom you want to make your life partner. And I never asked you to consider my choices in your life."
"She came into my life before you did, Ellie." The un-welcomed moisture started to sting the corner of my eyes as he took three long steps to stand in front of me now. "But that doesn't mean you mean anything less to me." He said as he raised his hand to touch my face, perhaps.
But before he could do it, I turned away from him, his hand half-raised in the air. His eyes narrowed in confusion and he grabbed my wrist, his fingers digging slightly into my skin as I bit my lips to stop my tears.
If only he could go away now, I could hide all this in my heart as I've always done. But if he didn't, I was afraid today would be the day where everything would either end.
Or begin. Again.
Putting my fingers over his hand covering my wrist, I tried to pry his grip away but he was fast in that he caught my other hand in between and now I had nothing left to hide from him as I could feel his gaze on every moisture that dropped from my eyes.
His brows creased in worry as he wiped my tears with the back of his hand, his mind rummaging through the haze to find the right words to say at the moment.
"I'm sorry if I said..." And before he could complete his sentence, I wrapped my arms around him and hid my face on his chest as cosily as possible.
That was the first time I dared crossing any line that has always existed between us as respectfully as he had always wanted to. I could feel his heart pumping loudly under his ribcage, probably due to the first sensible skinship we ever had since we became friends a year ago.
I could feel his wet black shirt from my tears underneath my cheek as I kept my face buried there and refused to look into his eyes.
Hesitantly, he raised his arms to run soothing circles up and down my back as the skin underneath my clothes erupted goosebumps. In a minute, the blush was adorning my already flushed face and before I knew, his arms were fully engulfing me in his masculine features.
I took a deep breath, as his hold tightened on me, his hands now resting fully on my back. I could feel our chests pressing against each other, my breasts on his hard features, creating that delicious friction that was making me go insane for every passing minute he was not making any effort to let me go.
And though I should've been feeling more like a pious and innocent woman as I've always been expected to, I couldn't hold that feeling of craving that I had been avoiding to act on, for as long as I can remember.
"I'm sorry, Ellie. I shouldn't have asked you something which you didn't want to share." He said as he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. My fingers gripped his shirt for support as my knees felt jelly under the gravity.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Hmm." He said as he caressed my hairs, perhaps to calm me from my emotional turmoil but instead, it was doing so many things to me than I'd ever let him know.
"The night when you had your first break-up with Nina."
He raised his head from my shoulder, his features hinting that he knew what I was implying to.
"Yes, what about it?"
"You know what I'm talking about."
"Ellie, we agreed we won't bring this up ever again. It was a mistake on my part-"
Immediately, I left his arms as I looked into his eyes. "Yeah, the mistake you did, or so you claim." I felt his gaze on me as I spoke. "Can I know if that claim of it being a mistake sums up everything you ever did that night..." My gaze falls on him. "to me, or..." I took a deep breath before continuing. "Was there anything more to that?"
I couldn't believe I was asking him that question when he very much made it clear to me the other day that he was too much in a state of inebriation that time, to be in control of himself.
He stared at me, too surprised and shocked to give a proper answer. "I'm sorry, Ellie, I really didn't mean to-"
"Did you mean anything more than that or not?"
"It was just a kiss-"
"You kissed me three times, Ethan. I still remember how very easily we could've done more than that if not..." I said, my eyes meeting his in hidden pain. "if not...you took her name in the middle of everything."
He closed his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hairs. "I didn't mean to-"
"You said I reminded you of her." His eyes met mine in a sudden emotion. "And you just couldn't get enough of her."
He opened his mouth to say something but realised he has nothing to say in his defence.
He knew this was something he couldn't avoid answering her forever. Ellie meant much more to him than he ever expressed to her.
He sighed as he spoke, "I was at the edge of my emotions that night. I had lost Nina in a second and you were there to provide me with that comfort and love that I was longing for after she left me."
"You didn't lose Nina, Ethan. She lost you the moment she decided stupid misunderstandings as excuses to break up with you. While in fact, she continued to cheat behind your back. But that still doesn't answer my question."
As if he needed a cue, he continued his explanation, but this time, his eyes immersed in something akin to perseverance. "I was too occupied by myself to actually understand my own actions, Ellie. But I do admit..." He glanced briefly at me. "That night, you looked so beautiful in the moonlight that I just couldn't resist myself from doing all those things to you. As our lips collided in a sudden bliss, with you moaning at my every ministration, I forgot what pain I actually went through the day."
I found myself growing warm with his bold words as I kept my palm on the table to keep my support.
"Fantasy overtook me for a second as I started to imagine how you'd feel like if you slip underneath my arms, how lovely you'd sound when I'd touch you in places where you've never let anyone touch before, how you'd look like when you cry out my name when I'd take you to your euphoria-"
"Stop." I raised my hand, my eyes on the floor in embarrassment.
"Why Ellie? You said you wanted to know-"
"I know, I heard more than enough to understand."
"But that's not even ten per cent of what I felt that night."
Immediately, I looked at him to gauge the truth in his words. "And you still went back to her after what we did," I said, my voice croaking.
"I had to, Ellie. We've been together for three years and I realized I forgive her every sin because that's how much I want to be with her."
"No, you don't! You just don't want to accept the fact that she chose someone else over you. Over your dreams and wishes of ever marrying her."
"I do, Ellie. Trust me."
"You said I don't mean anything less to you!" I shouted as I felt my tears betraying me yet again as they now fell freely, drop by drop on the carpet.
He came forward to cup my face in his hands. Wiping my tears with his thumbpad, he tried to hug me. But I put a hand on his chest to push him away.
"Go away. I don't want to see you."
He didn't say anything, as I felt his face contour in some emotion I never got the chance to decipher.
"I'll go away. But as a friend, I came here to give you-"
"We're not friends. We never were."
His expression looked shunned as his brows narrowed. "What-"
"I never looked at you as a friend, Ethan. You were always more than that to me. Always meant everything to me."
"Ellie." He repeated my name, in a daze.
"I love you. I always have." I said, smiling bitterly, as a lone tear trickled down my face. "Now that I realize I've been too late in confessing about everything to you, I feel too bad for me. For you. For the future us ..." I said as I wiped my tears from the back of my hand.
Ethan stood there, as flabbergasted and speechless as ever, as his hands shook in overwhelmed emotion. "Since when?" He asked, his mind not being able to form a proper argument.
Looking outside the window, I answered, "I don't remember when it all started. I just knew I always wanted more than what you were willing to give me. Each day passed in torture as you kept dreaming of your future with someone, who was not me. While you continued to treat me as your best buddy. And the day came when I decided to end this one-sided feeling all by myself. All for my sake."
Turning towards him, I said, my voice shaking with the emotions. "I formed the conclusion to say yes to the guy my parents decided for me. He's a good guy, comes from a respectable family too. And he looks after me like any woman would want any man to. He sees his future in me, with me. I think if I spend some time with him, I can love him as I love you, Ethan."
Hearing my words, his feet staggered a bit as eventually, he sat down on the couch, his eyes focused somewhere on the floor, as his fingers curled into a fist.
He didn't say anything. I never expected him to prove me otherwise anyway.
"I'm sorry but I think we shouldn't meet each other anymore. It'd only hurt both of us more if we decide against it." I said, as I reached the door of my room and turned on the knob.
That broke him out of his reverie as he moved fast for me to comprehend. He took long strides to grab my shoulders, pushing me against the door, my back colliding with the wooden frame, his hands behind me, turning the knob to close back again.
And before I could speak a single more word, he cupped my face, his lips capturing mine in a searing kiss. I tried to struggle with the sudden intimacy, grabbing his shirt to push him away.
But he grabbed both of my hands in his, his long fingers encircling my little ones in his protection.
Pushing me hard against the doorframe, he opened his mouth against me as our kiss deepened to something more. My fingers gripped his arms in a shaking euphoria as my eyes closed in a fleeting pleasure to feel his lips moving on my own.
Pulling me back into his arms, his hands wrapped around my waist, pressing me more against him, with a sudden urgency in his touch, as his tongue invaded my senses, tasting each corner of my mouth, to make me moan for more.
He grunted low in satisfaction as my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, while my fingers rummaged through his ruffled hairs. His hands roam up and down my body in the moment of heat as with a sudden push on his chest, I broke the kiss, his brows furrowed in disappointment.
We both were panting heavily from our make out, my lipstick smudged and smeared beautifully on his lips, as his intense gaze made me feel stripped out of my clothes.
"You're doing the same mistake again," I said, as my hand settled on his heaving chest, in weak strength to stop him from hurting me and my feelings again.
His fingers ran along the length of my hairs affectionately as he tucked a lone curl behind my ear, "Nina was a mistake, Ellie. Not you."
Our eyes locked in unison. "You said you wanted to be with her."
"That was because I didn't want to risk our bond. Unknowingly, you've come to me, touched me and my soul, came much more closer to my heart than any girl ever did."
I can feel moisture pooling at the corner of my eyes. "But you met Nina way before than you met me." I decided to throw his own words on him.
"That doesn't justify what I feel for you, Ellie."
I had a hard time believing his words. "You don't feel anything for me. Once again, you are at the edge of your emotions. Or as you once said before." I said as I raised my hand to try to push him away.
But he caught my wrist in between, his large calloused hands covering mine in grace. I looked at him in confusion as he moved my hand to put it right over his heaving chest.
My eyes widened to see his heart beating loudly against my palm. I tried to retract my hand away in reflex when he said, "Feel it yourself, Ellie." I could feel his heartbeat increase with each word he was saying, "Something that only you can make me feel. This is how much you make me want you, Ellie, and just how much I want to be with you."
I didn't have words left to defy his confession, while the inner battle going inside my mind was still raging as fierce as ever. "This honesty is too sudden from your side. Don't forget that by doing this, you're cheating on Nina, and it's more or less the same way she cheated on you."
"I was never with Nina." He said, making me shocked for the umpteenth time that day. "After our first break-up, we never came back together again."
His break-up was some five months ago, I realized in awe.
"So, she left you-"
"She wanted to be with me, but..." His voice seemed to be laced with truth as he continued, "I decided myself for the better of both of us."
"Why?" I asked, wanting to hear everything to the end.
"Because I wanted her to be happy on her own. In whatever or whoever she liked to be with." I felt disappointed hearing him not say the words I wanted him to. "And I wanted some time alone to sort out my own feelings too."
He glanced at me before continuing, "Those unexplainable yearnings I had started to develop for you without my will."
"That's attraction, Ethan. That's not love." I said, though my heart seemed to believe in him at his first confession only.
"Well, I have this whole night left to prove to you if it's just an attraction or love for me. I'm sure you wouldn't mind the foreplay." His words made me blush several thousand shades of red as he moved closer to my face.
But before he could kiss me again, I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, crushing him with my weight. Instinctively, his hands came to rest on my hips and I could feel a beautiful smile adorning his own features.
"You believe in me then?" He asked as he buried his face into my hairs. I didn't say anything as I sniffed his masculine scent to engrave his presence deep in my mind.
"Ellie?" He enquired once again, as his weight shifted to look at me now.
Tilting my head to gaze at him, I asked, "So we're dating now?"
Hearing my reply, he smiled in relief as if he'd been holding his breath for so long. "It depends on what relationship you want us to be in. Whether you want us to date first, or..." Taking both of my hands in his, he continued, "You can just choose to come and live with me," He lifted my right hand and kissed the tip of my fingers softly, "as my wife."
I couldn't believe my ears or this day. My unrequited love was not as unrequited as I had thought it to be.
"So, what's your answer, Miss Ellie Wilson? Would you like to think about me as your lawfully wedded husband or not?"
I was sure I was crying when I answered him.
"Yes, of course." With happiness embracing my heart and teary eyes, I hugged him.
"Thank you so much," He said, as his own eyes glistened with moisture.
He hugged me back, "I love you, Ellie." Closing his eyes, he tightened the embrace. "So much."
And I could only smile back at his words as he sighed in satisfaction with me in his arms.
*dies of embarrassment*
Lol, don't ask me anything. *hides her face with her hands*
Honestly, tell me if you guys liked this short story or not?
Was it too cliché for your taste? Or maybe you got a sweet tooth while reading it lol?
Anyways, thank you so much for reading this. Means a lot to me.
Until next time...