The Unspoken

The Unspoken

By Manjiri Vashistha Sharma

Episode 1:(This story is set in the 90’s)

It was the first day at college. Aman, a first-year Commerce student was engrossed in chatting with his friend Ravi.

Aman was an introvert with just a handful of friends. He was happy in his small world which comprised of his parents and best friend Ravi.

Both friends were stark opposite in nature especially when it came to girls. Ravi would never lose on an opportunity to hook up with a girl whereas even the thought of speaking with a girl would send shivers down Aman`s spine.

It was a chilly winter day in Pune. Aman and Ravi were seated on a bench under a tree on their college campus. Aman was silently listening to Ravi brag about his new girlfriend.

Suddenly, Aman’s eyes fell on a girl walking towards a library situated next to the college gate . She was in a yellow salwar kameez which fitted perfectly on her slender figure. Her black silky hair bounced against her shoulders as she gracefully walked. She constantly brushed aside strands of hair hitting her face due to the windy weather. Her right hand was filled with sparkling yellow bangles which tinkled everytime she raised her hand to adjust her dupatta. She was carrying a file along with a purse in her left hand. A yellow coloured printed scarf peeped through her purse. Aman looked carefully as she lifted her hand yet again to brush aside strands of hair.

As she neared he could now get a glimpse of her face. She had a flawless milky complexion, a tiny yellow bindi graced her forehead. She had applied light brown coloured lipstick, her eyes looked lovely with a dash of Kajal and eye liner. Innocence oozed through her eyes. Aman slowly rose as the effect of her beauty captured his heart instantly. He stared , she fluttered her eye lashes and looked at him for a fraction of a second. He was mesmerized when their eyes met. Suddenly her lips broke into a slight smile, she gave him a second look and disappeared into a library which was situated just outside the college campus.

“Hey, here I’m blabbering and you are busy gaping here and there”, Ravi’s complaining voice disturbed Aman.

“Boy, give me a minute, I’ll see you soon”, that was all Aman managed to say before heading towards the library,

“Such a fool he is, god knows suddenly what overcomes him!”, Ravi murmured as he watched Aman disappear into the library.

Aman entered the library , his eyes navigated every nook and corner of the huge library desperately searching for her. He could not see her anywhere.

“Yes, how can I help you?”, a grumpy librarian looked through his thick black glasses and asked him….

“I..I want a book”, Aman blurted,

“Isn`t that obvious, you won’t visit a library to buy vegetables”, the librarian said adding a tight smile to his grumpy look.

Aman was hardly amused, he scratched his head, trying hard to think of a book he could name. He had hardly been a reader all his life, “Reader’s Digest”, out of the blue he found himself mouthing the name of a family magazine. He had seen his dad reading it on weekends.

The librarian again passed on a half hearted smile and directed him towards a section which housed several series of “Reader`s Digest”.

Aman walked towards the section hardly interested. He picked up a book and took a seat. He again twisted his head and looked around, he was sure she had entered this library.

His eyes again met the librarian who was now watching him closely.

Aman quickly pretended to read the book. “Where can she go?, I’m sure I saw her entering…”, his mind raced back and then suddenly through the corner of his eyes on the chair right opposite him he saw the yellow scarf peeping through her purse. His heart skipped a beat, he could not believe his luck.

He slowly raised his eyeballs and there!, he found her standing right opposite him, desperately trying to search for a novel in the “FICTION”, section of the library. Involuntarily his lips broke into a shy smile and his heart beats settled. He dug his face under the book and patiently waited for her to sit on the chair which lay secured by her purse.

She was soon back to her seat clutching a “Jeffrey Archer “, novel .

Aman pretended to be totally engrossed into his book, he stared at the pages, least interested in its contents. He raised his eyeballs and saw her settle into a comfortable posture, she was now totally lost into reading the novel.

Aman now felt safe, he every now and then raised his eye balls and gazed at her. He saw her neatly placing strands of hair behind her ears and clipping them together using a yellow coloured clip. Now her entire face was visible.

In his quest of having a better vision of her, Aman had now almost unknowingly twisted his head away from the direction of the book . His eyes were now directly feasting on her.

Suddenly, she looked up through her book. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second. Aman quickly looked down, his posture screaming that he had been caught.

He again involuntarily looked up, and she passed a warm smile. He too passed a nervous smile. He felt stupid, he knew he was caught. Her smile clearly indicated that she knew he was gaping at her.

They sat there for an hour without any movement. Finally he could hear her rise and walk towards the library exit. He slowly slid his eyeballs to the right and watched as she filled in the card and signed in for the book. She slowly walked out of the library.

“I should have atleast asked her name, I don’t even know whether I would ever see her again”, Aman thought. He was frustrated.

He rolled his fingers into a fist and rose up in frustration. There was no point in staying back in this haunting place , he thought and walked towards the library exit.

Just then an idea struck him, “maybe I can get her name through the library card she filled?, at least then I will have a name to cherish “, he thought and smiled .

He scratched his head , thinking hard on what excuse he can invent to get hold of the card.

“Yes, how can I help you?”, the grumpy librarian again asked him looking through his thick glasses.

“Can I see till what date that girl who just left issued that novel, I also need that book, through her card I`ll get an idea when it would be returned”, Aman blurted a reply in a single breath.

The librarian heard with his eyes and mouth wide open, Aman was sure he was caught.

He waited with bated breath as the librarian pulled out a pen placed behind his right ears and scribbled a few words on a card.

“You want to know the dates right”, he asked, “yes, yes”, Aman was now hopeful, ” I can help you search the card”, he excitedly added with a broad smile.

The librarian smiled at his over reaction , he pulled out a card and teasingly said. “Not required, the card is here”, He had carefully sealed her name using his thick fingers.

Aman`s expression immediately changed.

“This book would be returned in one month from now, but I’m sure you are aware that all books have a default return date of a month, the client can return the book any day prior to that”, the librarian stated the obvious and smiled creepily.

Aman knew what he meant, the librarian exactly knew that Aman`s intention was to get more information on that girl. ” Thank you sir”, Aman half heartedly thanked him and walked out.

He tuned back to glance at the place where she was seated , to his utter shock, he found her yellow scarf lying on the chair. He almost ran into the library , quickly clutched the scarf and swiftly paced out .

When he knew he was a safe distance away from the library he stared at the scarf, felt it , smelt it , he felt every inch of the scarf…..his hands felt the soft threads at the edge of the scarf….he glanced at the edge and there …

her name was beautifully knitted in fine threads of pink and red…her name read… “ANAMIKA”…

He now had quite a few reasons to celebrate, he knew her name and he had a reason to meet her and return her scarf..he could also get a chance to speak to her…but could he gather courage to do it???????????

Episode 2

With a content smile on his lips , Aman bounced back home. He could hear his heart whistle several tunes. He had never felt like this before.

That night, he slept clutching her scarf close to his heart. Every time he ran his fingers through her name weaved on the scarf, he could feel butterflies somersaulting in his stomach.

“When her scarf is making me so restless, what will happen when Anamika is actually next to me?”, he could not help thinking.

But soon his thoughts would bounce back to reality as well, “why will she ever choose me?, she is an angel while I`m such an average looking guy, I don’t have anything to brag about, no looks, no grades, no money, …actually nothing”, he sadly thought and dozed off.

The next morning, Aman was up earlier than usual. He spends a little more time in the shower. He glanced at his clumsy image staring back at him through the mirror.

He felt his wet hair and thought, “these are the worst, they never seem to settle in one place, they are forever dancing away with a slight gush of breeze”.

He scratched his head and thought hard, he peeped into his mom`s dressing table and pulled out a hair dryer. He plugged it in , and smiled as he felt a hot gush of air drying his hair in a jiffy. He quickly simultaneously brushed his hair giving his hair a more subtle look, “yes perfect”, he was now happy. He gelled his hair and carefully applied an after shave cologne through his extra clean shaved face. Lastly, he wore a crisply ironed sky blue shirt with jeans.

Aman was now finally ready, he glanced at his image in the mirror and smiled blushingly with the thought of meeting Anamika, who maybe was his first love, love at first sight..

He carefully folded her scarf, making sure none of the folds ran over her name and placed it in the left hand side pocked of his shirt. He felt his heart beating faster beneath the scarf.

He soon headed to college and occupied the same bench . He was glad Ravi was nowhere to be seen. His eyes constantly travelled to and fro through the path where he first saw her and then towards the entrance of the library .

He waited and waited. Just as he was about to lose hope and walk away, he saw her.

Anamika was this time wearing a pink salwar kameez. Even though she was miles away Aman had recognized her. “There she is, what do I do should I return the scarf here or in the library?”, he contemplated both options.

She was now at a very close distance from him. He stared with eyes wide open. His heart was now beating at horsepower speed. He watched as she fidgeted with her left earring. This time her hair was tied in a loose pony tail with a pink rubber band. Her dupatta was perfectly placed around her neck. Her eyes were dipped in an extra layer of kajal which highlighted her beautiful eyes perfectly. Aman wondered how can someone look so angelic. His mouth almost opened syncing with these thoughts.

He immediately gazed down when he saw her staring at him. Gathering courage he looked up and their eyes met. Her lips broke into a warm smile, and he too nervously smiled. She had now walked passed him.

He involuntarily followed her towards the library.

He entered the library soon after her much to the amusement of the librarian. He stared at Aman and passed on the creepiest smile. Aman felt his smile meant to scream ” I know your dirty secret, I know your dirty secret!”,

“How I hate you”, Aman stared at him and thought aloud,

“Yes?”, the librarian asked as though reading his thoughts. Aman quickly cleared his throat and said, “Readers Digest”.

Before the librarian could answer, Aman quickly slipped away avoiding any more conversation with him.

He picked up a random book and occupied the same seat as the last time and patiently waited. This time again luck was by his side, she soon grabbed a novel and took the seat right opposite him.

“Should I approach her now?”, he kept pondering, but the moment he made a decision to speak, he felt his entire body shaking with nervousness he just could not gather courage.

Slowly time ticked by, he kept raising his eyes balls , stealing a glance at her and then at the scarf , slightly peeping though his shirt pocket. He saw her deeply engrossed in reading.

The butterflies in his stomach just refused to settle down.

After a long time she looked up and their eyes met yet again. This time there was no smile on her lips. Aman felt she meant to ask several questions through the stare that she gave him. This just added extra pounds to his already existing nervousness. Now he started sweating profusely.

After a few minutes, she suddenly rose and walked towards the exit door. Aman instantly tilted his head towards the door and watched, totally helpless. His legs just could not stop trembling. He cursed himself.

Meanwhile, Anamika signed off the library card and returned the book. Aman watched the librarian enter the details of the book and replace it on the shelf.

“She has returned the book, this is my only chance.” he bravely thought and firmly stood. Without a second thought, he walked straight out of the library.

She was nowhere in sight, he stamped his feet in frustration and rolled his fingers into a fist. He felt like banging his head against a wall.

Soon his frustration melted, and he saw her standing under a tree just next to the library. He walked towards her. Suddenly, he saw her turn, she was now walking towards him too. Slowly the distance between them reduced. Aman slowly pulled out her scarf from his pocket. She gazed at the scarf , her lips broke into a smile , he felt her lips say, “my scarf”.

Final Episode

They were now just few meters away from each other, just then a handsome hunk rode by and braked his bike just next to Anamika.

Aman instantly froze, his eyes stuck on the scene that gradually unfolded right in front of him. He saw the guy exchanging a few words with her. Within a few minutes, Anamika held his shoulder, raised herself, and sat on the rear seat of the bike.

Within minutes they sped off. Aman watched totally shocked. He saw her clutching him by his waist as he rode.

Aman stood there all alone holding her scarf. The butterflies in his stomach no longer fluttered. His heart was now beating at a normal pace. He felt his vision turn hazy as his eyes filled with tears. He felt horrible. He wiped his tears using her scarf, his perfectly gelled hair scattered, as he clutched his head in frustration.

He finally dragged himself back home. Several thoughts ran through his mind, “what was I thinking??, till date, not a single girl in college has ever shown even an ounce of interest in me, I’m a total failure and she …she is an angel, she deserves that handsome hunk, she just wanted her scarf back…and I totally misunderstood all of it”.

He was totally shattered by the bitter experience . Ravi too managed to add fuel to fire, even though he had never known Anamika, “How could you think that she had something for you Aman?, or that she would speak to you, she just wanted her scarf back, that`s it!, these girls only look for two things money and looks, and sadly…..”,

Aman cried bitterly through his thoughts, “No!, this is the only priced possession I have, her scarf.., I will never give it back to her….never ever”, he had now made a firm decision.

Days, months and years passed by, Aman deliberately never visited the library, he never sat on that bench ever. He dreaded the thought of parting away with her scarf.

After a decade

Aman had completed his post-graduation in MBA and was now working with a large MNC as a Sales Manager. Though a lot of time had passed by, he could never forget his first love, Anamika. He had carefully treasured her scarf as well. Her memories would instantly bring a smile to his face, but the thought of the handsome hunk whisking her away would still make his blood boil.

Ravi was already married to one of his girlfriends Vinita, he was almost forced into early marriage as Vinita was already pregnant with his first child. Thanks to their premarital sex.

One evening Vinita invited Aman for dinner. He reached their place by 8:00pm. Ravi was engrossed in watching television while Vinita was busy laying the table.

Suddenly, Aman`s eyes fell on a novel titled, “The Unspoken”, lying on the centre table. His attention was drawn by the picture of a woman that graced the cover page. He instantly held the book and stared at it with disbelief, the woman was none other than Anamika, he had seen her in his dreams each day. She looked like an angel even today. Aman raced his fingers across her picture, and then his eyes fell on the name of the Author, “By Anamika Mehta”.

“Aman, that’s a very good book, it's the autobiography of an upcoming author, Anamika, she writes really well. I have finished reading it, you can read it if you wish to”. Aman’s thoughts were interrupted by Vinita’s voice. Aman instantly nodded, clutching the book.

He dragged himself and finished the dinner , he clutched the book throughout the evening. He just wanted to rush back and read the book, which would probably give him an insight into Anamika`s life.

Finally post-dinner, he waved a hasty goodbye to Ravi and Vinita and almost ran back home.

He charged into his house and instantly started reading her life story. He smiled as she described the details of her childhood days, her carefree school days, and her teenage days. Then he stopped , he was scared to read further, he knew she would now walk through her love life with the handsome hunk who had been haunting his dreams for so many years.

“I need to face the reality, maybe reading the reality through her own words would help me in getting over her”, he finally convinced himself and read through her life story as a teenager, her love life….She wrote,

“Since childhood, I had always been an avid reader. Reading through innumerable books made me realize that this was my world. I could never think beyond the world of books. I always wanted to be a writer. I`m happy that I achieved my dreams. ”

She then went on to describe her personal life,

“Many people ask me that at 27 years why am I not yet married, especially given the good looks that I`m blessed with. Unfortunately, I never fell in love again. I don’t believe in marrying a stranger and then gradually falling in love with him. As per me, that is a compromise.

Love did happen to me. It was love at first sight, ten years back. His memories are still etched in every corner of my heart and mind. I had first seen him staring at me when I was walking past him towards a library. It's not that I have not observed guys gaping at me. But there was something different in his eyes, a child-like innocence, his eyes never left my face. When our eyes met, he instantly fixed his eyes on the ground, I just loved that. Then I found him seated in the same library, maybe he followed me or maybe it was a coincidence. Whatever it was, I loved it and cherish it to date. I found him often stealing a glance at me. Even I did the same. He again would gaze down whenever our eyes met. I so wanted to talk to him, but given my shy nature, I could never gather the courage. I expected him to make the first move, but that too never happened..,.

I even intentionally left my scarf behind, for him to find it , I thought he would grab this opportunity to strike a conversation with me. Everything was going as I had hoped, he did find my scarf. We would have had our first conversation, had it not been for Sushant, he appeared out of nowhere. He hastily whisked me away , his girlfriend, Meera, who happened to be my sister was angry on him and he wanted me to intervene and make peace between them.

I returned to the library the next day but did not find him. I kept visiting the library for several days, months and years only in the hope of someday finding him. Maybe only I loved him, maybe he just wanted to return my scarf and never felt anything for me. There are several unanswered questions that run through my mind even today. Even today I visit the library each day, I still hope that he will come one day.., and we would have a chance to……

Aman could no longer read further, tears rolled down his cheeks. He instantly rose and rushed towards the library, though he knew it was a late night. But this time he wanted to wait for her…he finally wanted to speak the UNSPOKEN….

#TheUnspoken #manjirivashisthasharma

Note- Many of you insisted on another chapter..here it is. Looking forward to your feedback.

THE CONCLUSION:

Aman reached the library at around 12:00 am. The library was shut. There was hardly anyone on the road. He sat at the edge of the stairs leading towards the library and waited, though he knew he had a long wait ahead. He carefully placed her scarf in his shirt pocket. He smiled as he felt the butterflies fluttering in his stomach all over again. They had no reason to flutter in the last decade. Deep in thoughts, he dozed off leaning against a wall.

His eyes flipped open as the rays of the rising sun fell on his face. He gazed at his watch, it showed 6:00am. “Hopefully she should be here by 10:00am”, he thought.

Soon a couple of hours flew by. Aman had a quick cup of tea at a tea stall just opposite the library and was back in a jiffy.

After a few minutes, the library supervisor arrived and opened the library at 9:00 am. Aman was the first one to enter. He looked around, soon all the memories were refreshed. He looked through the various sections of the library, he gazed a little longer at the section where he had seen Anamika on both occasions desperately trying to search for her favourite book.

“Readers Digest?”, his trail of thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a very familiar voice, he turned and found himself staring at the librarian who had a surprised smile on his face. He had now aged, with strands of grey hair peeping through various sections of his head, his tiny legs under his protruding belly were hardly visible. It took a while for Aman to recognize him and then he muttered, “Yes…. Readers Digest”,

“who reads them these days, you can scrap through some in that section,” the librarian guided him.

“By the way, where did you loose track all these years?, your so called reading inspiration has been coming here since ages?”, the librarian asked, he seemed to be too curious to know.

“Yes sir, I had lost track, but it's better late than never”, Aman confidently replied.

For the first time, the librarian passed a warm smile and was back at his seat. Aman soon grabbed a random book and waited patiently.

He flipped through the pages of the book, his eyes constantly travelling towards the entrance of the library.

Several hours ticked by, and Aman did not realize when he had actually started reading the novel that he had just grabbed. It was a murder mystery, and soon Aman was totally engrossed in what he was reading.

Anamika finally walked in, she too searched for a novel and soon took her seat. Her usual wait had just started. As she settled on her seat, her eyes fell on Aman. She instantly recognized him. She stared at him, her heart pounding very fast, her eyes slowly filled with tears, she quickly wiped her tears as she did not want her vision to get blurred, she wanted to see him, she had been waiting for this moment each day since the last ten years.

Meanwhile, Aman who had now reached the end of the novel was almost at the edge of his seat. His mouth was slightly open with astonishment, possibly the mystery in the novel was revealed in horrifying details. Anamika kept staring at him. She soon realized that he was sincerely for the first time reading a novel. She smiled through her tears of happiness. She fell in love with him all over again. Through his expressions, she could almost guess, that the contents of the novel had captured his mind. After a few minutes she again saw his expression change, he was now on the last few pages. Anamika knew most of these novels ended with an intimate scene. Aman`s expression too depicted that. His lips now had a smile and there was a twinkle in his eyes. The novel finally ended, he closed his eyes, and then he immediately opened his eyes, to find Anamika staring at him. Soon his heartbeats stopped as he feasted on her.

She had worn a long blue skirt with a printed black floral top. She had plaited her black silky hair. She now looked mature as compared to ten years back. She looked absolutely exquisite. Aman almost said, “You are so beautiful”, Anamika felt it and she gave the warmest smile ever.

She soon rose and walked towards the exit, Aman followed her, but by now he was really nervous. He watched her as she walked past the library and stood under the same tree. He slowly walked towards her, and she too turned and walked towards him. Soon the distance between them was minimal. Aman now had started sweating profusely.

“This time I can’t back out, I have wasted enough time, I have to say it”, he wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead and tried hard to convince himself.

Soon, they were now facing each other, Anamika intensely stared at him as he slowly pulled out the scarf from his pocket and said, 

” I…me…you…scarf….my scarf…I mean your scarf….”, he just could not gather his words.

Anamika instantly burst into laughter. Her smile captivated his heart, he had never seen her so closely.., finally he managed to say, “You are so beautiful…, can I keep your scarf”, he clutched her scarf tightly and pleaded.

Anamika’s eyes filled with tears, she nodded through her tears and asked softly, “you only want the scarf?”,

 Aman was now scared, he instantly said, ” no, no ..I want you too…I Love you…I want to keep you and your scarf forever…”, he finally said the UNSPOKEN. 

Anamika nodded and whispered, “Why did you take so long?..”, Aman pulled her into his arms and said, “I’m sorry”...

They were soon engulfed in a hug.