The Speech Of Qin Schwaz

As the crowd of hundreds of peoples of the large international school gathered in the school theatre, being seated and chattering in many voices and chats to each other and building up the atmosphere of the school theatre, Qin Kristjan Shwaz, an 11th-grade boy at 17 years old was preparing to make one of the biggest speeches of his life, At first, he was nervous if his life would end up like the previous haunting experiences. But he took a deep breath and walked upstage to the massive crowd of hundreds of students clapping at him in appreciation. Qin knew it was now or never he will give this speech, his parents even convinced him to speak about it, and decided to make a promise and trust his heart to say his story. And so he began his passionate life story and his speech on the horrors he experienced during middle school.

"Before I begin, I just want to say that no one, no single soul should undergo such as a situation or such an experience in their life that I experienced. No human being should ever suffer in pain and in silence and should open up for help and speak through the microphone or megaphone so everyone can hear. Before you guys judge and ridicule me, please listen to my story, please hear my voice like the hundreds of other screams and cries for help across the world today that are left unheard of.

Hi everyone, My name is Qin Kristjan Shwaz and this was my life story, back in 2010 in Grade 4 at 10 years old, I had a big group of friends, I was happy and I loved to focus on my passion for arts and writing. I was seen as a role model for many and someone who wouldn't fall into the pit of darkness. My mother is Japanese and My Father is German and we lived together as a happy family in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I loved going on my webcam and talking to and meeting new people, I loved to hand out with my friends and swim with them and play with them after school or during the weekend. Life seemed perfect, well too perfect.

My terrible life started at the end of 4th grade in 2011 and said we will be moving to Montevideo, Uruguay. I was nervous at first and wondered whether I would fit in school and make some new friends. I started 5th grade and enjoyed summer break in Montevideo but I wasn't ready for the year, I still hosted my webcam show but everyone else thought negative of me and how I spoke out to many people. They thought I was arrogant, and that's when the rumors began

I was at school one day during the second quarter of the year and everyone in my class was just staring at me like a dirty rat, my best friend even turned his back on me, I wondered why and what happened, I found out from someone had spread a rumor of me being a spoilt person and earning lots of money from that chat and not sharing that money with everyone else and that secretly I was a pervert on the computer.

I was shocked about this and didn't know who spread the rumor and why and I never got to know who spread my name foully. I never also understood why they would do such a thing to me, I did nothing wrong to them, I minded my own business. I never knew who that joker was and the damage was done, I never got to clear my reputation, I was seen as a disgrace and an outcast during school hours, no one would sit next to me or talk to me. I lost the few friends I had and I sat alone at lunch each day.

After school, I would cry for hours and hours and close myself from my parents. I closed myself from my parents and never got to say anything to them, my parents started to get worried and would always check in my room every 10 min to see if I was ok. I pretended to be ok since I didn't want them to know the pain I was suffering.

My parents were worried and no longer trusted me, I lost all my friends and respect in the grade because of a few untrue rumors and I had no one to defend me, the most frustrating part was that people believed it and didn't stop to question or think if it was true what was being spread and told.

2012 and 2013 were the darkest years for me as Grade 6 we were all starting to enter middle school and was started to be bullied mercilessly. In the boy's locker room after swimming, I would always have my things tossed around and would spend a long time in the changing room. In football, I was punched and was teased for not playing properly enough. I felt like the world was against me. My teachers never even cared even when the bullying was in front of me. Sometimes teachers would glare and mock me for no reason and make my situation even worse.

after 2013 I finally was able to leave Montevideo and go to Sao Paulo as my parent's promotions were directed to Brazil. I there decided to focus less on my webcast show and only in my free time, keeping it a secret from my new set of friends and from my new school. I decided to focus on my activities and my work and had excelled in school during middle school. But of course, that never helped me in my popularity. My friends left me and decided that I wasn't cool enough and decided to join the popular clique. I received a lot of good attention from the teacher but I never fit in and my classmates soon started calling me a teacher's pet. The worst thing of all was that the rumors returned. There I met with an old friend Maria. She was a friend of mine. She was also living in Sao Paulo and was in the same grade and age group as me. We started chatting and were studying together, but little did I know that we were being stalked by her boyfriend. When I was at school reading, her boyfriend and 3 others came to me and yelled to never hang out with my girlfriend or else you will get it and be sorry. I was obviously afraid as he was 2 grades older than me and I was in the 7th grade. I had graffiti on my locker and was forced to clean it. But that didn't save me from what would happen tomorrow. apparently someone lied to him that I held hands with her, and he along with 10 of his friends from the popular clique came to me one afternoon and said look around, nobody likes you nerd, you teacher's pet. Everyone was watching and I saw Maria laughing demonically and said just punch him already.

I felt betrayed and her boyfriend started punching me, he threw me to the ground and punched me so many times and others were just taking pictures of it with their phones. The teachers intervene and her boyfriend was suspended for a month. I was at the infirmary and the nurse was giving me icepacks to calm the bruises all over my arms and legs that pained and felt just like touching acid and returned back to class. As soon as I got back to class I went up to Maria and punched her in the face and started beating her up in front of the whole class for that betrayal, the whole class was speechless and Maria was also grunting and now feeling the pain that I felt, to this day I still don't apologize as she deserved it. The teacher then pulled me aside and took me to the principal's office,

That night my parents were furious and blasted me and wondered what has gone wrong in their son. I saw the disappointment in their eyes and also how they wondered in such utter shock what happened to the once sweet and innocent boy they knew 3 years ago. 2014 was also a dark year and my family started to be disappointed with me. After a whole year of aloneness and no talking to anyone and being a good kid by studying, I passed 8th grade and my parents announced we will be moving to Frankfurt.

At this point, I feared if this was going to be another Sao Paulo or another Montevideo. I hated moving to another city and wanted to be back to my home city of Buenos Aires. I couldn't stand it anymore that I went to the garaje and drank fuel. I was later taken to the Emergency room for pumping my stomach and for treatment. At this point my parents were in meltdown and were crying so much right now, I knew that I couldn't be this person anyone and I needed to change and start over with life and be a better and more friendly person. At this point when I didn't care about life, I decided to hope for one last chance. My parents and my doctors made me confess for hours and told them the whole story of both Montevideo and Sao Paulo and the constant bullying. My mom started crying and My dad was also crying that this was hidden and I was being silent and kept shut to myself for such a long time. My doctor diagnosed me with PTSD and now I had to take tablets.

I was in Germany in 2015, I never went for summer break anywhere or did something new, I also was afraid to leave outside. When I took pills, people thought I was a bit strange but surprisingly the environment in Germany was much better than in South America. I was still homesick and cried for hours like a weeping elephant or a damsel in distress. I had a few friends but at this point, I didn't care about my past life and kept it to myself and then moved on. I started to find better friends and chose my friends wisely. I devoted both times for my friends and my family and my school. I never mentioned my past life but even today I still felt lonely like I had just put a big mask over my face.

I still fear everything, I am taking pills and getting little sleep from the pills that keep me awake the whole night. I am also afraid of meeting new people and interacting more or do anything crazy and tend to keep to myself. And this has continued since 9th grade, Although I had such a rough time back then, I hated being a depressed person inside, I hated being that person I was and I hated having less energy and being afraid all the time, I was now having a restart life and having friends, a nice community around me and lots of opportunities to rediscover and to change, and I made a goal to never be depressed and keep moving forward, I looked up to Martin Luther King to keep moving forward and to Churchill with the motto to never surrender, I filled my heart starting in the 9th grade to be friendly to others, I made amazing friends like Alex, Mohammed and Pierre who I played football with and painted with, I studied harder than anyone else, I was careful of who I picked this time and who I mingled with and I never went of topic and never gave up when I didn't succeed to my expectations. Ever since coming here to Germany, from being silent and depressed, I started breathing properly again, I started to calm down and started to be a fun-loving and happy person I was back then, I have such amazingly supportive friends, I have succeeded and accomplished my goal and my grades are still high and my webcam show is still going on and I am so grateful for everything even right now at 11th grade, from being hopeless, I found light and a new path and I had a restart of my life to be right here, even if I may still have a few bad memories stuck like glue in my head, I am still grateful and I am happy for this change and the message for this to you all is, never give up, never give up when your life is at rock bottom, never surrender to the dark hand or the evils of bullying and never stop your journey to a better life and always know that things will get better. Thank you"

As the audience in my school theatre roared with praise and blessings, my stress reduced and I felts relieved and open to everyone, everyone knew the hardship I went through to the current trend and success of today, Though many others may never reveal the suffering they have experienced, there will always be light and someone to save and represent them and I promise in the future, I will help as many kids and teenagers like me as I can and promise that no one should experience the same pain as me and that will be a life promise always till the day my life will end.