The letter part 1

( The following is a letter from a friend of mine. I have not altered a single word of his letter words, but I couldn't help but add some comments on his allegations to me. My friend has specifically asked me not to share the letter with anyone else, but I believe that the potential consequences of angering him is worth it, as the letter holds some intriguing and unconventional truths about our generation. In our culture, it's typical to criticize bitter people, but I believe that this letter, despite my friend's disposition, is worth reading. )

Dear Friend, 

I hope you are in good health and manners when you receive my letter. Though, you will receive it as soon as I send it to you (rather when I press the send button, I should say). You think I just mocked you, for you have forbidden me to send any text or brief mails to you, but please don't misinterpret my intention. I am just trying to let you know how inconvenient it is for me to write to you only when it is necessary ! Besides how ancient it feels! My friend, let your mind accommodate the happiness of daily and frequent chats. Not that it will do wonders for you, but you will understand why it is inconvenient for me to correspond with you only in long letters. I have tried, after your suggestion, to converse in this particular manner with many of my friends. Oh! What I have received from them is beyond writing here. It will only depress you. Because they have not mocked your ways but they have alleged you to be a luddite, in the most foolish manner and worst they have mocked me for being influenced by you and sharing this foolishness. My friend, you should not be disheartened to know their allegations to this as you might have guessed all these beforehand and made peace with it. 

Confess that, in my own embarrassment, I feel my thoughts are concentrated and I am able to express myself in a coherent manner whenever I write to you in this format. But my friend I can't do it frequently, for which I am again embarrassed to confess. I have given to the world of ease, you will allege to me. I have given to the world of nerd gods(a term I like to remember whenever I remember you). 

My friend, a significant part of my letter, I fear, contains only about my miseries, imposed by those nerd gods. But can you allege gods for your miseries? No, I ask for real. You can't as you will only make yourself foolish by doing so. And I can't write with any certainty that those gods alone have caused my misery. So let me begin my story and I think you not to judge me ( for that I trust it is your virtue to not do so) or laugh at me (I have laughed myself by the by at many occasions when I was writing these incidents of my life, as when looked from a distance they seem more comedy than tragedy). 

It was a chilly day, a rare occurrence but definitely one such day knocks on your door, during the summer season. The previous night had brought heavy rain and in the morning, tall buildings were shrouded in mist, resembling mountain tops. The shorter buildings around them, many already covered in black and yellow mold, appeared ghostly. I looked out the window and my familiar neighborhood appeared unrecognizable, almost like a poorly painted portrait. The path I usually took for my morning walk was now muddy, so I abandoned the idea and went to a nearby shop to buy a milk packet. Upon returning, I was irritated to find the stairs were also covered in mud.

I made coffee and then sat down with the newspaper. I was upset to find dirt everywhere, even in my coffee, which ruined my mood. I quickly read the paper and felt discouraged. I didn't want to go to work and requested a day off. I preferred to stay in my messy and leaky apartment and watch TV instead of going out. Just as I had made up my mind, my phone rang and it was her calling.

I was asked on a date today by her, but in reality, I had asked her out a few months prior. It took her some time to confirm, but she finally did so two weeks prior. I was neither over the moon with excitement, as it happens naturally in such cases, nor was I sad,as there were not enough reasons to be sad. I told her that today wasn't a good day as I wasn't in the mood to go out, even though I had taken leave from work for the day. I felt my reasons for not going were weak and it might seem like I wasn't interested in her or the date.

She then explained how hard it was for her to take leave from work, just for me, and now I was declining the date. She questioned what I was thinking when I asked her out in the first place. Her words left me feeling conflicted. I wasn't completely disinterested, but going out when I wasn't feeling my best could lead to me being irritable and ruining the date. I wasn't trying to back out, as someone may prove it against me, but I had a feeling the date wouldn't go well. However, I had no choice but to get ready and try to be cheerful. You can surprise yourself some time in your life. Thus I ended up giving an unreasonable and false hope to myself.

Sometimes it feels like for demands by culture, we suppress our emotions and push through regardless. I found myself feeling defeated as I hailed a taxi to reach her location. The driver had trouble finding my location and we spent several minutes on the phone clarifying our positions to each other, both of us growing increasingly frustrated. However, when I finally spotted the car just a few meters away, I couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I apologized to the driver, but he was clearly still upset and simply asked for the OTP without acknowledging my apology. 

I reached the cafe. She was already there. It was an old cafe, and not in a nice way. Its outer walls were covered with molds. The owner tried to paint the walls with a nice color. It was certainly not a successful attempt. The molds and layers of paint had got mixed with each other, giving it a strange color and look. Cafe’s entrance looked very familiar to a jail entrance. It was too wide. But you had to keep your head down till you were in the sitting area. I did wonder if she chose this cafe in a haste or deliberately ( as afterwards, I was certain of the latter). 

We detested each other at first sight. Now I have put, what seems like the conclusion of this story, I need to clarify it. First, don’t stop reading my letter at this point. Second, it only became evident afterwards that we detested each other. It never happens like that (you detest your date at first moment) in such cases. And you have to keep it in mind that I am writing this letter only when the business has finished. I accept that a certain effect of my mood was in play. And she might have been irritated because I declined to come in the first place. 

She was pretty for sure. Her face was delicate, with a perfect round face. One of our mutual friends once told me the rarity of such faces these days. She was very thin and not very tall. I am not tall myself, as you know very well. Her skin was fair and not used to makeup. She spoke mildly but with an exertion (I couldn’t help but notice it). We ordered coffee and sat in a corner. We talked about our jobs and soon agreed that we both dislike our jobs. She, on account of, not a great pay for her work. And I, on account of, nature of my work. It was the first and last topic where we found an agreement between us. Our opinions on politics, society and life in general were very different. By the way, who talks about politics on a date but thanks to you my friend for your kind advice ! You must be the most unromantic person on earth ! So it must be, you never go or even be able to find a date right ? * ( I, pass my right, to comment here)

I was absent minded, and soon I became very uninterested in the whole conversation. I felt a kind of guilt for my mood. We both tried very hard to be nice and humble. But our conversation was taking wrong turns every time and when it would be painful to talk further on that topic, we started fresh.

 The coffee was not very great and the picture of mud in my mind made it worse. We decided to not order anything, though I was hungry. I, when we were leaving felt a relief, never known to me, for avoiding a conflict or argument at our first date.