The Last Letter

Dear… Guy to whom I am writing my last letter,

It’s been a long time since I wrote to you. I was busy. But I am sure; you have no complaints since you don’t reply back to any of my letters anyway. No, I am not disappointed. I am stopping here. There will be no more letters. Not to you or anyone, anymore.

The day you left, I feared you leaving me more emotionally than physically. You made me believe that was impossible. I trusted you. I am glad I did. At least now I don’t regret anything. I will never need to look back and think “What if I gave myself that chance?”

I am glad we shared a wonderful journey. From being complete strangers to a beautiful bond of friendship and understanding that ultimately bloomed into the feeling I feared the most… Love.

I still remember the day you left. It was pouring heavily. The sky did what I couldn’t as I smiled strongly holding back my tears. You were chasing your dreams; I couldn’t be your weakness. You had promised me nothing will change. Well, you didn’t. Your hug did. I heard what you never said. Assumed you were not good with words.

The first few months were the toughest. I was getting used to life without you. I wrote down everything I felt, saw and experienced in the letters to you. Your first letter made my heart dance. My friends teased me saying we were old fashioned lovers. It was rare and perfect. The way it felt. Maybe too perfect. As I feared.

I kept reading the letter until each one of the punctuation was vivid in my memory. Like it was the only thing to keep me going, my reason to live.

But I didn’t know that it was your last one as well. I waited religiously, every month, for replies that never arrived. All that I got were excuses. People around me had started speculating. Friends, family. They were sure you had lost interest. Why wouldn’t you? The world was such a large place full of options.

I had to face it; you had drifted away, eventually, the calls decreased in the name of work. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I didn’t want to confront you from miles away. So, I waited.

I didn’t know that one phone call could change my life forever. Make me question myself. My senses and feelings. My doubts and expectations. I met you after two years. Yes, you had changed. You appeared more calm and composed. Perhaps nervous about what you were about to say. Your face had scared me. I felt like my worst nightmare was coming true.

It’s been almost a year since that day. I have been busy in life. The way it shaped and turned out to be. You have been busy in yours in a different country. You had travelled across half the world for your work perhaps. I was busy making a home for myself, the way I wanted.

This is my last letter to you. Because I moved on. I moved on from being in a long-distance relationship, endless waits, being the girlfriend you never ever spoke to about your feelings. I moved on from being the girl who waited while you travelled the world. I am done waiting for you.

Today onward, we start a new journey. And looking back, I am glad we met. I am glad you came into my life. As my lesson, experience, and love. I am glad you had called that day. And I had left all the uncertainties to see you.

Because…

From this day we start afresh. We travel. Together. Stay Together. Dream together. We build a home together. I am glad you gave me everything and more.

Yours, always.