Stop The Blame Game

The lunch break was the much-awaited time we look forward to because we the lady teachers gathered in the staff room shared tiffin and talked about everything under the sun, till the bell rang. I often observed Kavita always complaining about her father's poor economic condition, as a result of which she couldn't further her studies and had an early marriage. With no option left, she landed in the public school, where we all worked, she grumbled. One day, I asked her, "Kavita, it is indeed disappointing that you could not fulfill your dreams, but tell me frankly, have you ever told your father about your interest before your wedding. I guess, since yours is a love marriage, you were in a hurry to get married." She admitted that she didn't have a word with her parents regarding her career. " Why didn't you discuss with your father? Had you done so, maybe he would have arranged anyhow. Most parents won't force their children into weddings, especially if they want to educate themselves. At least, your parents don't seem like that. " I replied. I counselled her for some time that what's done, can't be undone, so if her husband can support her she could continue with her studies. I think I was successful in making her put on her thinking cap because, after a few days, she stopped complaining.

Back home, my children often alert me to be a good teacher in order to avoid students' complains. Their common dialogue, " The Maths teacher, in the 'A' section teaches well, therefore those students are able to perform well. Whereas our teacher is not so good, hence we are not as good as those students." After probing into the matter, I learnt that the problem was not with her teaching but with her pronunciation, which was creating a little problem for the students. She too was a qualified and experienced teacher, but at times, students wait for opportunities to blame teachers and to escape from being labelled as poor performers.

            

My friend, Babita and her husband are Bank employees. They both share household chores. He is a gentleman, to say the least. A calm and enduring man can never defend himself and she takes undue advantage of his good nature. Whenever matters go haywire, she shifts the entire blame on him. Poor soul, he can never fend for himself and quietly bears all her rants. 

           

We come across such situations wherever we go. One blaming the other. We never take the trouble of analyzing for ourselves. We don't even try to correct ourselves. We find it extremely easy to shift the blame on the other and we do so without any hesitation. We blame our parents, relatives, neighbours, teachers, employees, employers, the system, the list is endless. For a moment, do we ever make a self-introspection? Let's take the example of Kavita, before getting married, if she had a one-to-one discussion with her father that she wanted to pursue her studies further, maybe he must have arranged for some finance. Without telling him her desire, she simply came to conclusions that due to her father's financial condition it would be better she got married and stopped studies. But it is incorrect to blame him later. 

           

A successful operation will result in showers of praises upon a doctor. Failure will ruin his career. " This happened due to the doctor's negligence. " This is an often-heard statement. To what extent was the patient's condition critical, in which situation was he brought to the hospital, to what extent did the doctor and his team struggle to do their best.......... all this becomes unmindful and all the efforts put forth by the doctor bursts like a bubble in a moment.