Spectre Of My Dreams

You wake up early morning because you can't bear it anymore. You are forced to quit your peaceful sleep. Sleep, the only thing that offers you peace when the entire world has collapsed for you. You unlock your phone and see her picture which entangles you with the sweet memories of the past. The solitude that you enjoyed appears dull and you no longer perceive the smell of happiness in the air. The once so palatable food no longer appeals to your appetite. The air you breathe turns heavy and makes you restless. Time seems to move at a snail's pace. With a bitter heart, you wake up. 

The recursive dreams for the past 3 weeks haunt you so much that you realize that those 3 years’ worth of memories were something that you should have fought for till the end. But it's too late now. You wake up only to realize that she has left you. The rhythmic beat of the heart that you took for granted has long gone and what remains is an empty shell. What remains behind is regret. Regret that you should have cherished her existence more in your life. Perhaps, it's now too late. I wish things could have worked better between us. 

    

You understand the worth of a person when they cease to exist in your life. You long for the voice that irritated you with silly questions. You long for your phone to ring, displaying that familiar 10 digits or perhaps the name that you couldn't afford to delete from your phone. But wishful thoughts never get granted in life. You have already realized but that boy in you still thinks that there's a chance. The chance that you can redeem your wrongs and win her again. The shimmer of hope keeps you intact and wakes you up with dreams that she yearned to listen about, had she been with you. But life's unfair which is why it is fair. You could have had great conversations because all of this started with a simple dream. You charmed her with your appearance in her dreams. You should have cherished her when she embraced you in her life but her existence was a luxury you mistook for the possibility of eternity. Now the roles have reversed. You wake up with the same dreams every day but you have none to share with. You contemplate the fact that you really loved her. The same love that should have been expressed explicitly was shrouded in you with your naivety hoping that she would understand. You now understand that the saying 'action speaks louder than words' were indeed true. The fact that you could never freely express your love for her could be the only mistake of your life. 

But now your sheer being has become a negative hindrance for her. What you say or do falls before deaf ears and blind eyes. No matter how much you try, she won't be back. This entire ordeal haunts you every night and reminds you that's what's done can't be undone. The little solace offered by family and friends cannot comfort your aching soul. You look for an escape route but if you really love someone then nothing can ease your distress. Finally, you choose to dial her number only to realize that you are blocked. But this constraint is not limited to mere electronic devices but rather to life as a whole. You finally realize that your existence has been shunned from her conscience. With a sombre heart, you start your day hoping that life would give you a second opportunity but now it's too late.