Shivery Nights

The night was cool. Mohana stood on the terrace, feeling the breeze on her face. Each rush of cool breeze sent a slight chill down her frail body. The slender body, covered with layers of stoles began to shiver. Many nights, it was this quiet darkness that gave her company in the time of gloom.

She detested showing her gloomy side to the world. Not that she considered it demeaning or looked down upon it, it was just how she responded to the grief in her life. She was a strong woman . But human beings can be strong, not painless. And it was this pain she tried to soothe in the cloak of darkness.  Even this expression needed to be done within an allotted period. -traversities of being a mom.

Every morning for past eight years or so, it was her routine to get up at an hour when only her foot steps disturbed the silence of the house. The sound of a stray dog moaning somewhere, interspersed by a couple of early morning vehicles were the only sounds on the streets. This is a routine she cherished as it gave her time for herself -time to enjoy the solitude and feel happy, sad and delighted and grateful for the life she lived.

Mohana was not an advocate of the idea of 'work-life balance' or that of the 'family first' as she always believed and experienced that family is not always blood, rather when blood stops behaving the 'family-way', it is the heart that immediately and lovingly forges a family with strangers, often with stronger, trustworthy bonds. When a neighbour looked after her child when she stayed at work or when she was allowed by the boss to take her child along with her to work place, it was all the while family ties that were being knitted.

Mohana's life was smooth and joyful with her two little girls laughing, playing, learning and being noisy around. The work-place provided a succor which she enjoyed too-a rare facility! The little gloom of being lonely had recently been filled by the presence of Pawan, a football coach whom Mohana met in a recent school meet. It was his non-chalant attitude towards people around him- men, women and children -that attracted Mohana. He could talk endlessly about sports and sportspersons and was quick to make everyone his own. Be it the ground personnel or the new child in the team or even a distraught parent of his pupils.

Mohana looked forward to attend any school, district or club level matches with him. He too coveted her company and discussed at length about the future, the present and history of football. That was how they completed each other, as Mohana too took keen interest in children, and the way the children should turn into future citizens of the world. Pawan was someone who shone like a bright star in her otherwise monotonous,  gloomy life. But the shine of the star seemed borrowed to her as she always feared the light dimming away as she knew that a man who had a family of his own with his wife & children won't be able to brighten her world for ever.  

Looking at the twinkling stars in the breezy night, she felt the night shivered with her at the looming loneliness waiting for her.