Set Me Free

Out of my distress, I called on the Lord, He answered and set me free (Psalm 118:5)

I remember way back in college when I was dying of an inferiority complex and afraid to breathe, I got this verse. I was timid in class, not that I didn't know the answers to the questions. The thought of standing up and answering in a class of knowledgeable and intellectual girls petrified me. I felt that everyone knew more than me. When the nun looked in my direction, I trembled, wondering what she was going to ask me and whether I would make a fool of myself. Naturally, I forgot what I wanted to say and messed up the answer. This happened several times. It was embarrassing.

I took up the matter with my Higher-up. Oh yes, I had a habit of discussing with Him everything under the sun. I'd wait for it to turn dark so that no one would find me on the terrace. I'd sit on the wall with the lights off and my knees drawn to my chest, my chin resting on it.

That evening it was somewhat chill, I remember. My slim arms tightened around my knees as the cool wind played with my hair. 

"I'm afraid, God," I lamented. "I'm afraid of making a fool of myself. Please help me."

After I finished my one-line prayer, I sat there like a ghost, not saying anything more. He didn't talk to me that night, but there was spring in my step the next day. I walked into the class with a broad smile, sat under the nose of the nun, and waited for her to look in my direction. My heart was beating like crazy, and it almost stopped beating when she called me out. I did something that I never did before. I prayed.

I did not focus on the answer but on my little worn-out Bible where I'd underlined the words: I called upon the Lord in distress; he answered me and set me free. With the Lord on my side, I shall not fear, what can man do to me? (Psalm 118:5-6)

I stood up, looked into the eyes of the nun and answered confidently. She smiled in approval, and I sat down, relieved.

No longer did I worry about nuns and professors, intellectuals and sophisticates. I knew where to turn for help when I needed it.

So when you feel overwhelmed and cornered, take heart, for there is a way out. It may seem out of reach, but it isn't. Not to the one who believes and asks with child-like faith. Your creator is waiting for you to take the first step. He will do the rest.