School Diaries

Hi. Today I m going to open some pages of my past which nobody knew. And that past is not any sort of haunting, it's just my school life. A school life, where everybody had memories - sweet, bitter , sour, of every kind. Usually, I don't like to speak about my school life. But today, I gathered the courage to open it up. You know , some people are sort of introverts, but I was even far from it - extremely introvert.

My school life wasn't too interesting. Everybody has crush or better - infatuation. I do have. But it takes me 6 to 7 years to commit it. Its today I'm talking about it otherwise it's just a thought, which I avoid to give a thought even.

It was we were in class 7th when I first noticed him. Actually our name's initials are adjacent, so our seats were adjacent. Once our teacher changed our seats and again we got adjacent seats. He shouted in the whole class " hey, I came back". I thought what's this happening. I was shocked. This was the first time I felt ashamed without any reason.

We also went to school by same bus. But whole time , I wasn't able to look at him. Somehow I came to know that we both have same favourites - same serial, same song . And I thought is it really a coincident or something else. But I wasn't courageous to ask him so. Once, I bought the homemade cake to school on the occasion of teachers day, and guess what, he was absent so he couldn't taste it. Next year also, I bought chocolates and wanted him to taste but he still missed that chance and I felt bad for sure. Don't know why I was the one who was feeling bad.

In class 8th, once I got less marks in tests and he was so shocked and asked, "are you alright? How could you score less marks. " I felt why does it even matter to him. In class 9th, we had practicals . Our teacher were strict . When my turn came, I got nervous and out of nervousness, I started crying. When I came back to class, he came to know about what had happened there. Then next time we had practicals, before practicals he announced in whole class," Isha , don't worry, I m with you. " It was the moment, I want to die. I was so numb to react upon that.

One more, there was a boy in other section whom I knew somehow as we both were on same tutions. There was a lecture which I wasn't interested in , so I was looking here and there and by a coincidence, that guy was standing there outside the class. He got to know about this. He thought there was something going on between me and him and he started feeling possessive. When I saw him, I was able to see a tinge of jealousy in his eyes. I was so blushed seeing his reaction.

I have a habit of thinking , "what they gonna think of me... " .But still, I was able to feel it. Teenage hormones...... which I denied completely that I don't have such shitty things. Shitty because they make you feel something and I was the one who was expected to be emotionless, particularly in this manner.

A same smile came to my face when I think about him. Sometimes I still meet him in my dreams. Sometimes, visiting a place together, sometimes in that class.....and many more. But I doubt , did he still remembers me ??

I wonder, he was my crush or I was his!!