Plausible Fear

Ma today you are miles away from me
I haven't seen you since ages. You haven't been with me for a long time
But I still love you. I can pour my heart out for you. I always wish for your well being and a hearty life which you haven't got.
I know you aren't happy and I desperately want you to get you out of the hell you are living in. But I stand here helpless because I cannot even take the decisions of my life, how can I stand by your side?
Still I haven't left any hope. I know Ma you are already troubled and have accepted your life the way it is today.
But don't worry mom , the day I'll start earning I'll have the strongest weapon which today's world believes in.
At that point of time nobody can stop me to give you a new life of which you have been deprived. 
But I only fear whether you will be alive till then? Or remember me that I am your daughter, with whom you have spent only four golden years and above all that child whom you have nurtured in your womb for nine long months...?
I fear Ma, I fear.