part one

RETROSPECTION-1

the night was flying like an wingless butterfly in my dreams. then one boy came and woke me up . i got irritated and saw the time. it was 11.30pm. i just got angry on him suddenly and asked him the reason. it was the day before my social studies exam. it was 22nd march, 2019. as i was quite tensed about my exam i took my sleep very early . still i got disturbed. then that boy to,d me that i was called by seniors. i just asked why. he said snacks. i got my answer . from the very beginning i am totally fearless about these hostel matters. then from the day to till date i have never made compromise with false ideas , injustice. so i was completely fearless. then i went there. what i saw that my eye's couldn't believe. my brain stopped responding for a while. i just drank water and before they would start i just said if any one of you are without any intention then you can go. all of them remained there. i just told them sorry for what is going to happen not for that what has been happened. like CID they just asked me questions and i answered very frankly. they made guesses about me . but they were such fools that not even a single guess was correct. i was still smiling up-to that time when some of the people started asking me questions from who i never expected. then i just asked them " do you know me? do you know what i have done in these past years? if not then who are you to put an question?"it hurtled their ego and and they slang-ed me like anything. and unexpectedly tears came out of my eyes. i shouted the most and i just got angry up-to the most and questioned the things that came to my mind. and the just answered like they want. i just gave them what they wanted and warned them that they would have to pay for this some day in their life. i just shouted at the up-voice i could . Before they would speak something i just said shut up you bloody fellows. i was at the top of my anger and was just like a half mad fellow.and then then the original chapter started . my thinking was there is no one to control my anger then someone caught me and told not to shout. i just shout on him and then he again told me not to shout. at the third time i felt the healing of anger and i couldn't believe how this happened. for the first time i got out of anger so soon and i cried a lot. i just made my all hatred out by writing poem and couldn't sleep that night. i completely forgot that next day was my exam and i need to be stable. then i tried a lot but couldn't sleep. then just opened the question bank and read only 2 to 3 questions from each chapter and it was 3.00am. likely time flew away and i got ready for exam . i was completely tensed as nothing was in my brain and then my inner voice told me have faith on god and move on . i meditated for a while and promised to myself to score better than everyone's expectation on me . and when i got my question paper and i found 72 marks questions i read that night. i was completely shocked and then i wrote the answers of every questions. it was half time of exam and only 2 questions were left about which i didn't have any concrete idea. i was totally frustrated that nothing came to my mind except that last night scenes . i took permission and went out and made me chill and then wrote the answer. exam was over and i checked my answers and i found everything to the point ant correct. then i just realized that if that incident might not be happened then i must have to cry that time. then i thought if i came to give test at anger might be i couldn't have done so good. so i searched that guy whole campus but couldn't found that day and couldn't thank him.

i realized there is something called healing capacity and that's found in only cool minded fellows and from that day i learned to control my anger at most. might be it's a coincidence for you but it's nothing more than a miracle for me and i scored 80 out of 80 in social studies. thanks god to teach me the life lesson and to that guy whom i couldn't thank that guy that day and after that day.

Hence I was in the conclusion of the retrospection that there is something called good motive and healing capacity in some guys and in whom you found these things you should care and respect them.

And that is happening in JNV life in hostels there is a good will of god after all the worst incident you face.