Nude Gallery

I first met Maximus in the summer of 2008. I was twelve years old.

I was an orphan and was being cared for by the nuns at an orphanage. The nuns introduced me to a very kind middle-aged woman. That woman was Mommy Marcelina. She’s the kindest, the sweetest, the best mommy I’ve ever known. She adopted me.

When mom saw me for the first time, she kneeled and cried in front of me. She said my eyes resembled her daughter’s eyes. I couldn’t understand why that made her cry.

Later on, I found out the daughter she was talking about already passed away. And only her son remained with her.

And that son she was talking about was Maximus.

They have an abundant life. I was so lucky that I was chosen to become an adopted member of their family. But then there was Maximus, who hated me like hell since day one.

When I first arrived in the house, Mommy Marcelina introduced me to him. He was 16 years old at that time. Stunning. Attractive. Gorgeous. I actually thought of canceling the adoption that time, because I felt like I could never see him as a brother. No freaking way! He’s too attractive. However, I don’t wanna push away the good life awaiting me just because I have a crush on my foster brother.

He stood there in front of me with his intimidating eyes. His stare was so intimidating that it made me feel like I’m a slowly melting candle in front of him.

“I’ll never accept you as my sister.” That was the very first sentence I heard from him.

True to his words, he never accepted me into the family. He’s rude to me all the time. He bullies me, insults me all the time. He says all the meanest things in the world to me.

I always hear mom and Maximus fighting over me. Mom would scold him for his behavior but he would never give in. He just hates me. Period.

And I will always overhear mom crying whenever she would learn Maximus is bullying me again.

“Brother!” I called him once inside the kitchen.

He was fuming mad when he faced me.

“I am not your brother!” I was startled when he shouted at me so angrily. “Don’t you dare call me brother again!”

That was the first time I tried to call him 'brother'. And that became the last too. I tried many times to approach him, talk with him, but I always get insults and shouts in return. I was hurt. So I never tried anymore.

2010

One morning, mom asked me to get Maximus from his room so we could have breakfast together.

When I entered his room, he was nowhere to be found. I was about to leave when something caught my eye. There’s another door across his bed, and it’s slightly opened. As I padded closer to the door, I caught a glimpse of him inside, wearing an apron, painting on a canvas.

Mom reminded me that I should never disturb him when he’s painting. But I’ve always wanted to watch him while he’s painting. And I couldn’t fight the urge to take a peek.

Before I could even knock on his door, he was already in front of me, looking so angry. He pushed me away from the doorway and immediately closed the door of the room.

“What are you doing here?!”

I just realized I got on his nerves again.

“U-uh?” I stuttered. “Uhmm.. b-breakfast is r-ready.”

“Never enter this room!” He said referring to his art room. “Do you understand?!”

I got scared so I immediately nodded my head many times.

What’s ironic is that, despite his maltreatment, I couldn’t get mad at him. Maybe because I like him.

Whenever I see his shirtless body, I would go breathless. Whenever I cross paths with him, his scent would linger on my nostrils. I wanna talk to him. I wanna touch him. But he won’t let me.

He hates me.

He hates everything I do. He hates everything I say. Even when I’m doing nothing, he still hates me. He just.. hates my entire existence.

Subconsciously, when I’m in the shower, I would find myself having a fantasy of him kissing me, hugging me, and all those dirty stuff. So dirty of me to have this type of fantasy.

I’ve reprimanded myself many times. That I shouldn’t feel any romance for my brother, that I shouldn't fantasize over him, but my heart says otherwise. When it’s a battle between mind and heart, my heart would always win.

2011

There’s that incident that I will never ever forget. It was after Maximus’ high school graduation party. He got drunk. I was on my bed, about to sleep, when he suddenly came inside my bedroom.

His eyes are that of a drunk person. His cheeks were red and his hair is a little bit messy. An unordinary look of him. But still gorgeous.

He only did one thing that night. And he only said three words to me.

But that one thing and three words gave me indescribable emotions and hope. That maybe we can be. That maybe we could be together.

He sat on the bed, at my side. He caressed my cheek. I couldn’t think straight. His touch made millions of butterflies in my stomach go nuts.

And then he leaned down and claimed my mouth. I felt like I was having the best dream in my life. I responded to his kisses. At that moment, I was ready to take that moment to something more. I was ready to give myself wholly.

I’ll never forget how his mouth tasted. A bit of rum. And I’ll never forget how he smells.

In the middle of that senseless kiss, he stopped and said the three words I never dreamed of hearing from him.

“I’ll miss you.”

I was literally on cloud nine. But even though I wished and wished time and time again, nothing happened after that night. There was no conversation. Not even a glance from him.

That one night was all I had with him.

Then the day came for him to leave our province for college. When he was studying in the city, he rarely comes home. Sometimes only once in a year, on mom’s birthday. And when he does come home, he makes sure that he would arrive at night time when I was sleeping, and then leaves the next day. He would just visit mom. And even when he sees me, he would pretend I wasn’t there.

--

2020

“Eliza, your brother will come home!” Mom chirped so happily. Her excitement is so visible.

“Really?” I plainly said although deep inside I was celebrating like hell. It’s been years since he came home. I haven’t seen him for years.

“Yes, yes! I am so happy. I miss your brother so much. It was unfortunate he couldn’t visit because of work for the past years.”

I just smiled at her.

Even if nobody would tell me, I know I am the reason why Maximus is avoiding coming back here. It was me all along.

Ever since I found out he was coming, I couldn’t sit still for days. I was nervous and happy at the same time.

When the day of his arrival came, the house became so busy. Mom prepared lots of food. Put up decorations. And we cleaned the entire house.

“Eliz! Let’s go! He’s here! He’s here! Let’s wait for him outside.”

Mom is so excited. I am too. But I couldn’t express that excitement. Mom has no idea about my feelings for Maximus. That’s why I’m very careful of my reactions, I don’t want her to suspect anything, because I know she will be hurt by it. She wouldn’t be able to take it if she knows her beloved daughter is in love with her son.

We waited for him outside the house. And not long after, we could see his car entering the gate. My excitement is growing every second. The loud beating from my chest is deafening.

I had to hold my breath when he stepped out of the car. Still stunning. Gorgeous. Attractive. Hot.

Curiously, he walked to the other side of the car and opened the door. And unexpectedly, a woman stepped out of the car.

Mom and I exchanged glances. Both of us weren’t informed he would bring a guest.

And the fact that it’s a pretty lady, I don’t know what to feel. It’s hurting me for no apparent reason. I’m jealous. Though I don’t have the right to. And though I’m not supposed to.

“Mom,” he greeted Mom and then hugged her. “This is Jenice. My girlfriend.”

Girlfriend...

“Hi,” the woman named Jenice greeted Mom politely. “I heard so much about you.”

“Hello honey, welcome.” Mom greeted her back.

Maximus gazed at me. Jenice also gazed at me.

“Hi, you are?” Jenice courteously asked.

She doesn’t know me. That means, Maximus never mentioned me to her. Ouch. He really still doesn’t want me in the family. I’m already registered under their name for years, but I still don’t exist for him.

“Eliza,” I answered her wearing a smile even though I was hurting inside. “Welcome.”

I gazed at Maximus, who’s also gazing at me.

I missed him. I wanna hug him, but I can’t.

He didn’t say anything to me. He didn’t even smile. He just looked away and led his lover inside the house.

Jenice was kind enough to offer help in preparing the table. Maximus, on the other hand, went to his room to shower.

“Eliz, go get Maximus,” mom said. “Dinner is ready.”

“Okay,” I responded.

“Let me do it,” Jenice butted in.

I didn’t mean to, but I raised an eyebrow at her.

“I can do it,” I firmly said.

She backed out and let me get Maximus.

When I arrived in front of Maximus’ room, I knocked but there was no response from him.

“Maximus?” I called. “Let’s eat.”

There was no response again. I tried opening the door, and to my surprise, it wasn’t locked so I went inside. I roamed my eyes around the room. Nothing changed. It’s been years since I saw this room, but nothing changed.

“Maximus?” I called again.

Maybe he’s still in the shower?

I figured I shouldn’t disturb him because he might get mad at me. And I don’t want that to happen.

I was about to turn around when that same door caught my eye. I know I shouldn’t be curious. I know I should leave. I know he will get mad. But my curiosity brought my feet in front of that door.

A placard was hung on the door and it says, “NO ENTRY”. That isn’t enough to stop me.

Just hoping that it’s open, I tried to turn the doorknob. And luckily, it opened!

I silently entered the room and closed the door slowly.

As I stood inside, and when I realized what was in that room, my jaw dropped.

What--

I don’t understand! What’s the meaning of all of these?

I roamed my eyes around. I stared at each and every image hanging in that room. There’s a painting on a canvas that is still unfinished. There are sketches, paintings, and other artworks made from different materials.

But that’s not what’s dumbfounding me.

It’s dumbfounding to see that all of these different images are images of me. And no, it’s not just my face! All of these are nude images of me! Nude!

How—

I’m confused.

Then I came to look at the ceiling. I was greeted by my own face. Even the ceiling is painted with my face. There on one side of the wall, hang a very large canvas of me. In the painting I am covering my bare breast with my hands, my hair is braided, and I’m covering my most private part with my thighs.

And then there are some images of me being fully naked. But those aren’t my breasts!

And then there are some sketches showing my buttocks. I am shocked that this room has nothing else but nude images, but I’m more shocked by the fact that those nude images are me. All me.

“I thought I told you to never go inside this room?”

I quickly turned around to see who spoke. And there he is. Leaning on the door, with a bath towel on his shoulder.

“I don’t understand. What’s this?” I asked out of confusion.

“They are as what you see.”

“But--” I paused. I don’t even know what to say or what to ask. “I thought you hate me?”

He walked towards me. He surveyed the room, looking at every image, then stared at me again.

“I did.”

“What? This is not how you should hate a person! Why would you draw me?”

“At first, I didn’t like you because I feel like Mom is starting to forget Maxine because of you. She treated you like a daughter, and I hated that. I feel like I’m the only one hurting because of Maxine’s death.”

So my guess was right. He hated that I became kind of his sister’s replacement. I could understand that.

“Then I hated you because you’re too beautiful for me to hate.”

“What?” I became more confused by what he said.

I gasped when he suddenly tried to take off his shirt. I instantly covered my eyes with my hands.

“W-what are y-you doing?” I stuttered.

He stopped in the middle of it to stare at me. But he continued taking his shirt off anyway. I looked away. I can never get used to seeing his naked body.

“This is you.”

“Huh?” I stared at him in confusion.

What is he talking about?

Then I realized he was referring to the tattoo on his waist. It’s a tattoo of a girl’s face. I saw that a couple of times, but I have no idea it was actually me.

Wait! That’s me?! Why would he tattoo me on his body?!

“I don’t understand. You hated me all these years. You shut me out. I can still remember you packing my things and you threw it outside the house to make me leave.” Now that I’m telling him all of these, everything came back vividly to my memory. How he hurt me emotionally. How he bullied me. 

He just stared at me like he doesn’t know what to say. Or maybe he knows what to say, but he’s not sure if he could say it.

“You’re the most confusing thing that ever happened to me, Eliza.”

“Why? How?”

“I’ll never accept you as my sister.”

Ouch. That was what he said to me at our first encounter too. And after years and years of trying to become a family to him, nothing changed about how he sees me.

“How can I? A brother shouldn’t be lusting over his sister.”

What he said made me freeze on where I am standing.

“You like me?” I stammered.

He did not answer.

“If you were attracted to me, you’re not supposed to hurt me!” I reproached.

“And I’m not supposed to be attracted to you either!” he retaliated. “I don’t hate you.”

“Liar!” I shouted at him.

“I hate the idea that I like you so much but I can’t even like you. I am not supposed to like you!”

“Why?”

“We’re siblings.”

“Bullsh*t!” I cussed. “Don’t give me that bullsh*t! We’re siblings? And you made a nude gallery of me? This?!” I referred to the whole room full of my nudity.

“This is the least I can do. For mom.”

For mom...

He doesn’t want to hurt mom. I don’t wanna hurt mom too. But I want him.

“Just like anger if bottled up inside, it’ll burst and will burn everyone. So instead of bottling up my desire, I made this room. Because if not, I might just go insane and take you anywhere and anyway I want.”

Unknowingly, a smile escaped from my mouth.

I would love that.

He narrowed his eyes on me. “What’s that smile for?”

“Uh? Did I smile?” I tried to feign innocence. “You must be mistaken.”

He narrowed his eyes on me again like he is not convinced at all.

“But those aren’t my breasts!” I whined.

His eyes drop down to my chest then he immediately brought it back up to my eyes.

“I haven’t seen them, how can I draw them? I just draw it based on my imagination.”

“What?!”

My gosh. My cheeks are burning! Does that mean he’s like fantasizing me inside his mind?

I gazed at one of the paintings hung on the wall. It’s hard to believe he made a whole nude gallery of me.

“Why draw me intimately, Maximus?”

“Because it’s the only thing I can do to you. I am not allowed to touch you or to--”

“But you kissed me.”

That made him stop.

“That was a mistake. That shouldn’t have happened. That’s the reason I avoided coming home.”

“What? You hated it that much?” I exclaimed in dismay. I dreamed of that kiss every night, but for him, it was a mistake?

“I loved it that much. I’m scared that if I see you again, I might just grab you and devour you.”

Silence sat in between us.

“I miss you,” I said. The three words I’ve always felt. And the three words I thought I’ll never be able to say to him.

He closed the gap in between us and claimed my mouth. It’s just like how I remembered. The taste of his mouth is the same, minus the taste of rum when we first kissed. His smell is the same too.

I wish time would stop. Or at least slow down. I want to stay like this forever. In his arms. Please...

We broke the kiss and stared at each other.

“I’m getting married.”

I wasn’t able to react immediately. I’m still flushed by the kiss we just shared. And what he said next, brought me back to earth at lightning speed.

“To Jenice.”

My shoulders dropped and I took two steps backward. “What? You made this room, kiss me, but you’re telling me you’re getting married? Asshole!”

He pulled me into a tight embrace.

I burst out crying.

“Maximus, please. Please?”

He didn’t say a thing again.

He pulled out from the hug and kissed my lips many times. He continued giving me little kisses. Then after that, he turned around and walked towards the door.

“I love you,” I cried out almost in a whisper.

He stopped and faced me again.

“I love you too.”

“Then why?” I asked in desperation while crying so hard.

“For mom.” And then he finally turned around and left me alone.

I dropped to the floor.

Should I have canceled the adoption?

But if the adoption didn’t happen, will I meet him?

I don’t know how to describe this, but forbidden love is just cruel and painful. And I can’t even do anything about it. Because it’s forbidden. And we are not in a movie or in a novel. This is reality. And what’s forbidden is forbidden.

He knows that. I know that.

But it still hurts like hell.

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