Lied

Kitty was diagnosed with a brain tumor and she was dying. The operation suggested by her neurosurgeon has only 10% survival rate. She had lost hope and wanted to die. She doesn't wanna do the surgery because according to her, it will cost a bank and she will end up dying in the end. But as her big brother, I don't wanna give up on her.

 

It brings tears to my eyes whenever I see her suffer in the sheer brutality of the pain. She would bang her head on the walls, whimper and wail due to the extreme pain. And many times, she tried to kill herself.

 

"I can't--it's too painful. Let me die!"

 

I snatched the knife away from her hand. "Kitty please! Don't do this! What about mom? And dad? And me?"

 

She curled on the bed and continued to wiggle and wail because of the pain.

 

It's heartbreaking to watch her try to end her life just so she could escape from the pain. It's heartbreaking that all I could do was watch and cry from the corner.

 

But still, for our family, for me, I want her to live. I want her to fight.

 

Then she met Dexter. He became her boyfriend and she was so happy and in love. I started to see life in her eyes. For the first time, I could see hope in her.

 

She's frail and sick and that's why she has to be sheltered. Ever since she met Dexter, she would snuck out of the house at midnight, go on dates, eat foods that aren't healthy, and it made me worry. She can't do all those things because it will make her sicker.

 

One morning, she gathered the family in the living room. And I decided, I should talk to her about her boyfriend.

 

But then, she smiled at us and declared, "I will do it."

 

None of us can say a word. We were so shocked at her sudden change of heart.

 

"The surgery, I will do it."

 

At that moment, I knew, it was all because of Dexter. So how could I tell her to break up with him, when he gave her the will to live, which we failed to do?

 

I couldn't tell her anymore. She's willing to live, and that's all that matters to me. She's smiling, and that's already everything to me.

 

We booked the surgery right away. And thanks to a miracle, she survived the surgery. She defeated that 90% chance of death.

 

However..

 

Something happened to Dexter on his way to the hospital. He got into an accident and was pronounced dead on arrival.

 

I grew more anxious. I couldn't find a better way to tell Kitty about Dexter's death. How will I tell her?

 

After a week, Kitty finally opened her eyes. And I couldn't contain in a word the happiness I am feeling. I feel like I am floating in the air as I see her move. I ran up to her.

 

"Kitty, you're awake!"

 

The first words that came from her mouth was, "Where's Dexter?"

 

It was the very question I am so scared she would ask.

 

"He's.."

 

Should I tell her? Should I?

 

"He'll be here," I lied.

 

Because how? How could I tell her that the reason she lived is now dead?

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- ZC