MYSTERY IN MY LIFE

             

                 My mobile is out of charging. It’s giving me reminders for 30 minutes to charge it. And now it’s 10 per cent. Now I think I had no choice but to charge it. However, the time is 11:55 PM. If I don’t decide to sleep, maybe I have to stand outside my class the next morning for coming late. So I’m about to get up from my table to charge it and then when my phone got a message. Wondering who would it be at this time looked into the message. But it’s just a “hi”. And the person who sent me is unknown because it’s a number.

         Wondering who’s the number is I opened WhatsApp. Glancing at the profile photo, it looks like a girl with a familiar face. Tapped on it to view clearly and clear the mystery. To my surprise, I never expected the profile to be her. Santhoshi. Out of all, at this hour? With lots of ambushes, I decided to reply. In return, sent a "hello” and also added "how are you?” as she was my classmate one year back. Well, I spoke to her in those days not even once which made me more curious about her.

Santhoshi: Do you know who am I?

What a silly question.

 Me: Why not? Your Santhoshi right?

Santhoshi: But this was my first time texting you. How can you say it’s me.

 So this is what she doubts. It’s ok. Let me clarify.

Me: Well, I can see your profile.

Santhoshi: oh! So you remember me.

Oh god, she still hasn’t said why she messaged me, but roaming around the introduction speech.

Me: why not? After all, you were one of the studs in our class.

Yes, she is. She was an average student in the whole one and a half years of my intermediate. But unexpectedly she was raised to the top of the class in the last two months and amused everyone. Apart from that, she indeed was a silent girl who kept giving the company to her books every day which was exactly the opposite to me. Anyways, knowing our classmate is indeed a normal thing.

Santhoshi: Seriously, me…a stud. Do you know who you are? A topper called me a stud who never topped the class. That’s funny.

I just am not able to understand what’s with this girl's mind. She is the one who texted me this late-night that too for the first time and now making fun of me.

Me: Are you for real? You’re saying me as a topper, don’t you think it’s too much.

Santhoshi: yes, of course, you are indeed a genius. The whole class know about you. What’s the fuss in it.

Now I can’t continue this topic. It’s lagging and getting damn bored.

Me: Fine, leave it. Tell me, why do I suddenly get into your mind.

Santhoshi: Nothing much special. Just wanted to get in touch with everyone from our class. And here you are.

Finally, the mystery was solved.

Me: Oh. That’s nice. So, how are you doing? I guess you’re now a senior to me.

Santhoshi: I didn’t get it. What were you saying just now?

It seems everything is a wonder to her. I think I have to explain this now.

Me: If I didn’t get it wrong, you must be studying as a second-year student in some medical college being a senior to me as you got the seat in the direct attempt.

Waited for the reply for two minutes. A sudden silence between the chat. Thanking God for stopping this boring chat, I went to charge my phone and there she is with a new message.

Santhoshi: I think you’re mistaken. I’m the same as you. I’m with you till last year. Joined the same coaching centre. Haven’t you seen me not even once?

Oh no. Today is a real day. Full of surprises. She being with me is indeed shocking.

Me: Don’t tell me you’re my classmate last year.

Santhoshi: Yes I am. But not as your classmate. I’m in your next section. You used to come to our class daily in every break whenever you got time. Haven’t you ever seen me for real? We came across each other a lot of times.

Me: No way. Why would I say no if I had? And there is a possibility for me not to know you. You’re such a silent stud kid. Why would anyone get their attention on you?

Santhoshi: Maybe you’re right. I am indeed silent. You mustn’t have noticed me.

Me: Yes. So what else?

Santhoshi: Nothing much. Everything’s good.

Me: Then fine. It’s high time. We should go to sleep.

Santhoshi: Yes. We have to. Good night.

Ultimately, it’s over. But I have to say, truly surprising.

        This discussion is ended and also ran out of my mind since it’s been a year it happened. Present, I’m in my second year and today is Sunday. Thinking of ways to time pass, I am playing with my phone and chatting with my friends. That’s when her message out of nowhere popped up in my notifications. Wondering why I tried to remember that boring conversation and expected one more casual chat and replied to her.

Me: Hey, hi. What’s the matter?

Came to the point to avoid the situation that can repeat as last time.

Santhoshi: yes, doing good. I need a small favor. Can I call you?

Call…. Again surprised. What can she possibly need from me? Let’s see. Gave her a ring the next minute I saw the message and she lifted it the very next second.

“Hello, hi.”

      Heard her voice. May not be the first time but I don’t have any memory of it.

But her voice seems like she was desperate to say something but clumsy.

   “Hey what’s wrong. You wanted to call me”.

 "Yes, I… me…well….I need to say something. Can I?”

    "Yes, of course.” She is really tense. What can it be that she is that tense?

 "Actually, it’s nothing. I…. I…well, do you remember our college days? Our classrooms? We used to sit….”

    "Hey, hey, wait. It’s been almost 3 years. Who can remember them?”

  "Yes, you are right. But it’s fine. I’ll say what I have to. Look, I actually, why I called is….oh no, I’m not able to.”

    "Are you ok? Is it something serious? Just calm down.”

         "Yes. You are right. It’s something serious. But I need some time. Can I call you again? Bye.”

       "Hel…” that’s it.

Call disconnected.

     

       What’s going on? I’m not able to understand a single thing. A few minutes later, I called her again but she hung up on me. I got nothing but to wait for her call as she put me in such a situation. Maybe she needs some time to sort out her mind as it’s that she’s very uncertain. So I left these things and was about to do my work that’s when a message popped up.

Santhoshi: I’m really sorry for causing unnecessary disturbance. There is nothing I wanted to say. Some problem came up with me but now it’s sorted out. Thanks for calling me when I asked you to. Have a good day. Bye.

    I just have no words for her. Can anyone really understand her doings? She is the one who started and is this the way she wanted to end? Great.

Me: I didn’t understand.

    Whatever.

     Fine.

     I quitted the conversation not to continue. But two hours later, she’s back again with a shocking message which made me realize why she was that anxious and what she must be going through. That particular message also affected me and threw me into a lot of questions. The message is….

       "Hi. I know I must have troubled you a lot today. But I really am not able to say the things in my mind. I too never thought I would go through such an unexpected circumstance. Coming to the point, Vasanth, I don’t know how it started but for two years I have been thinking of you. I can swear I’m not such a girl who revolves around uncertain things. I hate being this way of not knowing why I think of you despite not having any experiences sharing with you. I hate myself for being this naïve that I’m tired of recalling you. I hate myself for texting someone whom I don’t know yet. I started hating everything I do when everything somehow make me think of you. I have been hating you until I started realizing things one month ago. There is an incident with my mom that made me realize that we shouldn’t expect happy things rather accept the things that happen in real life. That’s when I began to put my mind in order and sort out, when I started being this way and how I got related to you from the very start. I accept there are certain incidents that happened in our college days in which my attention shifted to you which were not that important for you to know.

    But when I got to know you joined the same coaching centre as me and you visit our class every day, I used to wait for you. Truthfully, though I recognized that I was waiting for you every day, I never accepted it.

    When I accepted it I start disliking myself as I’m not such a kind. When I messaged you for the first time, I fought a lot and struggled a lot with myself not to contact you but failed. And when I got to know that you don’t even know me being there with you when there are situations I was excited while coming across you, sitting behind you, sitting next to you a lot of times, I literally shattered. That moment is really terrible. That moment I started despising myself even more for being that way. I used to recollect every moment how I used to be and of how I have gotten into it.

      The most disgusting thing for me is I was still hadn’t accepted that I was sad and broken which made me confused and led me to hatred. When I started realizing all these things, gradually, I started to realize that the original emotion behind all these was that I like you.

     And the more I think of it, the

more I tried to go away from it. But when I understood that we have to accept, I decided to give a chance to me and accept me, the new changed me. But the question raised in me was what to do with my feelings. I felt great when I accepted my feelings for you, very light-hearted, the whole weight I have been carrying was gone down within a second. I wondered looking at myself how I was smiling like an idiot for no reason. But what to do. I can’t keep it within myself. I shared it with my friends but no use. I still am thinking of you. Though this time I was happy, I should stop it soon as it’s not the right thing to do. So, the only way I can think of is to share it with you and let it all out. To start a new year and leave this along with this year. I don’t know whether I’ll be able to do it. At least I’ll have contentment for having a try.

    It’s just a confession which I neither need your rejection nor your acceptance. As I’m not even ready to accept you either.

Happy new year.”

Though it’s lagging, I finally got to know what she is going through. But it’s good she wants to come out of it and start a new year which starts in a day.

Me: It’s k.

    Take care.

     Happy new year.

This is how my mystery got solved about her, but the real mystery started with that message. After all, what sort of incidents happened with her that she got her attention on me. Hope this puzzle can stop here with this story. Well, my name is Vasanth.