My Search For Her
My Search For Her
My eyes were adjusted to this darkness, I found a small match as I crawled. The match gave me a little light, my eyes widened as I could see a little more around me. Felt some warmth, a little possibility of something. It burned through soon and left me with a small scar and I was back in the dark.
I had had a taste now and I knew, it is the warmth that I desired, light, I needed.
I kept searching and found a few more matches and then a candle. This time the light lived for a bit longer, it didn't burn my hand and it was a little warmer than a match. I could see it further with it. But it too had an end, I tried to hold it together but the wax melted and soon it was nothing but a blob from which I was expecting too much.
Now renewed in hope that there may be something better, I continued to crawl.
I came across some matches and candles but I wanted more so I kept looking and this time found some embers, they were warm to be around but I couldn't touch them. They did
n't have much light, maybe an iridescent glow; they couldn't move with me. They couldn't show me anything except a silhouette of myself. So I moved on, searching, finding, scarred. Life kept going as I tried to satiate my desires from all these matches, candles, and embers I came across but they were always ephemeral I kept crawling.
I once came across a raging fire, thinking this was what I had wanted all along; I tried to run towards it, only to realise the light it gave came at a price. It had to be fed, fed with everything I had. It was warm from a distance but the closer I got the more I burnt.
In my journeys, I had come across crawlers like myself and there were some who spoke of a legend, a Sun. They said, once it is found, once it has risen it follows you unconditionally, always, it will give you light and warmth and it will show you the world.
I thought it a tale of hope.
Moving from flame to flame, I will keep burning myself and maybe someday find my sun.