Miles To Go

In the evening, I entered my room. I sat on the bed, cross-legged, staring at the wall.

All of a sudden, I stood up and ran towards the table in the room. I looked at the things on the table, moving my eyeballs here and there rapidly, breathing heavily. I bent down and solid out the drawer with my strength. I started pulling out the things in the drawer aggressively. Everything scattered around the room. I didn’t care. I kept searching for something. When the first drawer, a few blank sheets fell on the floor. I rushed towards them. I picked up one of the blank sheets, took a pen, and came back on the bed. Then I started writing on that paper. The first word I panned with my shivering hand was SARIKA, and at the same moment, finally, a teardrop fell down on the paper.

I wrote further,

God knows how it all began.

How I lost my heart to Sarika. I was in love but it was too late. I remember feeling like a blind bird plunging down an empty well. Everything seemed hopeless.

Tears flowed down my cheeks. It felt as if my numb body had started functioning. With words, all the pain and frustration I had endured inside started flooding out. I kept writing.

And then I decided I’ll end my wretched life. But then there was no point to it, when who I was dying for didn’t even know why. Since you won’t in this lifetime, let me confess, I’m yours and yours only. Put me down in your list of slain.

Yours forever,

Arun.

My pen stopped moving as I sensed someone coming. Prateek entered the room. I stood up hurriedly and hid that paper in my hand behind my back, abruptly. My eyes were wet, face swollen and I breathed heavily.

‘what happened, chote? is everything ok ? and what are you hiding in your hand ?’ he said, astonished.

I broke down.

‘what happened ?’ he said. I fell in his arms and he embraced me tightly. He rubbed my back.

He read whatever I had written.

‘You’re strong tiger and strong people never give up, everything will be alright. This is a bad time. It will be over.’ He mumbled, making me sit but I couldn’t come out of his embrace. I don’t remember when I fall asleep in his lap.

 

MILES TO GO...

The lights were dim. I somehow figured someone standing in the room as I stepped inside. There was a woman.

I took a step forward and slowly uttered the words, ‘Excuse me?’

As my voice echoed in the room, she turned back towards me. I looked at him and I took my steps back as soon as my eyes skimmed her beautiful face. My mobile fell from my hand as her eyes met mine. Legs felt feeble.

I held onto the sofa to keep myself from falling.

‘Sarika?’ I screamed all of a sudden.

Yes, it was her. Sarika.

Blood running in my body, fast, too fast.

I figured those eyes, those lips, those ears, that nose, and that face, that beautiful face. It was her. I stood frozen for a few moments, staring at her face, startled. She too stood silently, gazing into my eyes.

I fell into her arms as soon as I reached near her. I hugged her tightly. I looked up, touched her face, her hair, her ears, and held her cheeks in my palms.

‘Arun..?’ she said slowly. I heard this voice after a long time. I was still murmuring. After a while, my voice turned slow. I gave up in her embrace. I rested my head on her shoulder. For a moment, I had even forgotten that I was meeting her after a long time. I wasn’t complaining about what all I had gone through and how much pain she had put me through, leaving me alone. I wasn’t angry at her. Poor me, I was just happy having her back near me, happy that I could see her, touch her and hug her. I had lost my consciousness. I wrapped her in my arms as tightly as I could, as if I feared that she might leave me again.

‘Never leave me alone, Sarika. I knew you would come back to me. I knew. I won’t let you go now.. I won’t..’ I mumbled.

She lifted my chin, ‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered.

I looked into her eyes. She looked into mine. I regained my consciousness as I heard her soft whisper, but still, there was a part within me that couldn’t believe she was back. This felt like a dream...

 

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,

There is a field… I’ll meet you there...

-Rumi