Magic of The Blue Diary

Arpita had no clue how to handle the situation. How could she? No one is ever prepared to handle this kind of situation.

Rajeev's sudden death had shocked her completely. Something got broken from within, that looked beyond repair.

Why her? This is the question she had been asking herself since the day she got the news of Rajeev's death.

It was difficult to describe the pain, every inch of her felt pain for Rajeev, it was like with him gone, a part of her also departed from this world.

Yes, she was breathing, but it was just for the sake of her 2 beautiful daughters ( Advika and Anvika ).

It's had already been 6 months, but had she accepted this harsh reality? Was a big question.

After all, Rajeev was not just her husband, but her childhood friend, her best friend, everything that she could have asked for.

After staying friends for a long time, Rajeev popped the question, and her saying Yes, was no big deal, because even their family knew they were meant for each other.

While Arpita worked as a Project Manager in a renowned MNC, Rajeev always wanted to be in Army and his dream came true when he finally made his way in. She was initially hesitant about him being in the army, but she knew being in the army meant a big deal for him. Rajeev came from an army background, hence it was no big surprise he wanted to follow in his father's footsteps.

Arpita had a sweet family, with 2 wonderful daughters, wonderful parents-in-law, who always treated her like their daughter and a loving husband. Can life be any more perfect? she used to always wonder.

She had no idea how her life was going to turn upside down?

She was suffering from insomnia, no matter how hard she tried to sleep, sleep was far away from her.

The most challenging situation was handling her daughter's question, Advika was 12 years, she could understand the situation to some extent, but Anvika was 6 for her nothing made sense. So, not seeing her daddy around, she asked too many questions about him.

How would she handle this situation, was beyond her understanding?

Can any amount of tears be an indication?

Sleep was far away from her, so she decided to sit on the balcony for some time. After all, it was their favourite spot.

They had a big balcony, covered with artificial grass, and the best part was the swing they had put in the balcony.

As she sat down on the swing, going through Rajeev's blue diary. She knew Rajeev was not a writer, but often she found him writing something in that.

She often asked what does the dairy contain, he used to often joke, only when I am gone, can you go through the diary.

She always used to fight him about not having this type of conversation. If with just the thought of Rajeev's absence, it made her feel miserable and see the irony of Life, today she Life has given an opportunity to go through the diary.

As she was about to open the page, she heard the voice from the back that said, "So, you are finally going through the diary"?

She was startled as this voice was none other than Rajeev. As she turned back to see, Rajeev was standing in front of him.

"This t-shirt and jean was always your favorite right, so I thought if I look handsome, you'll feel better, Rajeev smiled.

Arpita stood up and without saying anything hugged Rajeev tightly. They stood there 10 minutes while Arpita cried her heart out. It felt like Rajeev's death was just a bad dream and everything in their life was back to normal.

 Even before Arpita could say anything, Rajeev said, You know I am just a figment of your thought. 

I owe you that much, my love, My sudden absence has created a vacuum in your life and I cant see the love of my life miserable. Hence I thought to spend some more time with you, maybe the last time so that we both don't regret it and you have something to hang on to it.

So, now you decide that do you want to waste time crying or instead we make the moment memorable.

Arpita was too shocked what Rajeev, she just nodded and as they sat down on the swing again. Arpita had held Rajeev's handle tightly so that he cannot go anywhere.

He picked up the diary and said to Arpita, So, yes, as promised you can go through my diary, but together.

After 6 months, this was the 1st time Arpita smiled and said, Yes, let's do it together. Thank you for making it easy for me.

As she opened the pages, it was a sort of journal that Rajeev was maintaining. It included all his childhood memories, good, bad and yes, Arpita's name was mentioned almost on all the pages.

He had beautifully described how they met, became friends, how Rajeev developed feelings for her, how he proposed, their marriage and the beginning of a new chapter in their lives -( Anvika and Advika), his love for the army, his parents, friends.

As she turned pages, Rajeev was simultaneously narrating every event that he had mentioned in the pages, They both were laughing and having a good time enjoying each other's company.

For Arpita, it felt, as if time had taken a U-turn and she was re-living every moment of the past.

But as all good things come to an end, so was the diary, she realized that she was on the last page.

She looked at Rajeev and said, 'This got over, so soon, why? We were having so much fun.

Rajeev smiled and said, "Sweetheart I know, but what you don't know is that I wrote a poem for you before leaving this time. Go to your dressing table drawer. Open the 2nd drawer you'll find a pink envelope, get that.

Arpita was confused, and said, Really, But I haven't seen anything there. I use that drawer daily.

He smiled and said, The envelope is below the newspaper that you have placed in the drawer. So, go, get it. I don't have much time.

Arpita rushed to the room and very silently open the dressing table drawer and much to her shock there was a pink envelope. She took the envelope and headed out to the balcony once again. Rajeev took the envelope and said, Arpita, this is something I want to read to you, so you just close your eyes and listen to what my heart wants to convey to you.

Arpita said, Ok if you say so, I'll close my eyes. Please read what you have written.

Rajeev said you know a few years back, when I lost my good friend Shekhar, I realized that I should write something for you, just in case life doesn't give me an opportunity.

So, please don't laugh, but I have written a poem for you.

These are not just words, but my feelings Arpita.

So here it goes:

I may not be close to you from here, yet I'll always be close to your heart

Embrace my memories with a smile, rather than wrapping them with your precious tears

We have created so many beautiful memories together feel the fragrance of it

Rather than shedding tears on my absence and grieving, remember me with your beautiful smile.

Remember nothing more than your tears hurt me even today, it remains the same

Even though when I am far away from you, yet I still feel close to you

So what if I am not sitting next to you, you can’t wrap me around your arms,

My beautiful wife my fragrance is still wrapped around your arms, cling to it tightly, and feel my presence with your beautiful smile.

Because there can never be goodbye for us.

I know it’s hard for you to accept I am not around you anymore,

But my love, trust me I am there watching out for you every single moment of yours.

You are not working on the path alone.

I am with you today, tomorrow and always in your journey as long as you want me to be there for you

Destiny brought us together, a love nurtured our relationship;

Don’t let grieve, our separation, extract happiness from your life

Because you are still the bundle of my joy, my rock who supported me throughout my life

And I can’t see my rock giving up at any point in my life,

Your strong willpower inspired me in a far bigger manner than you can ever imagine

I was blessed to have you in my life, you brought meaning to my life, made me a better person

A Big Thank you for being part of my life, Stay Stronger not only for yourself but for us,

Last but not least don't remember me with your tears; remember me with your beautiful smile.

As the poem ended, Arpita with tears in her eyes said, Rajeev, How am I supposed to carry on without you?

Rajeev said, I know my love, but as I said in my poem, I am always there for you, today, tomorrow, as long as you need me to be there for you.

I may be physically not present in your life, but I am always there for you, Arpita.

I promise you'll not find yourself alone.

Right now, you need to be my strong brave queen, who carries out the legacy. You had been my pillar of strength and I know it's challenging for you, but as I said, I am there for you.

Our kids need you Arpita. All they have now is you and I know they have an amazing future ahead. Not only do they pick your beauty, but your brains too.

But even before that, you need to start taking care of yourself, because without this you'll never be able to take care of your family, (kids, parents)

I love you Arpita and shall always love you.

Arpita hugged her tightly and said, I love you too Rajeev. I promise I'll take care of everyone.

Would you really come and meet me, whenever I remember you?

Rajeev smile and said, You know what, why don't you start writing a journal, and then we'll read it together?

Sounds good Arpita happily said. Let's do it. I'll tell this about girls, they would be so happy.

At that moment, she heard a voice that said "Mom, Mom, I am not able to sleep in my room, can I sleep with you?

It was then realised that this was nothing but a dream, Rajeev had visited her in the dream.

She hugged Anvika and said, 'Nothing to be scared sweety, come, mumma shall tuck you in this bed. Mumma is here, you dont have to be scared of anything now. I'll take care of you. Try to sleep now.

Within a fraction of seconds, Anvika went off to sleep in her mumm'a arms and so did Arpita.

The next morning, she woke up early, went to the balcony with Rajeev's blue diary, and much to her surprise the content was exactly what she saw in the dream.

Rajeev really loved her, even after he was gone, he found a way to give a ray of hope to Arpita, so that she could live her life.

As Arpita was sitting on the swing still going through the diary, her elder daughter Advika came to her and handed over a pink envelope to her and said, "Mom, I was looking for something in your dressing drawer, when I found this pink envelope. The envelope was addressed to you, and it's from Dad.

Do you want to read it? I got this for you.

In the same time, Anvika also joined her sister on the balcony.

Arpita hugged them and said, I'll read this letter later, but before that do you know what, your Daddy visited me in my dreams yesterday and told me how brave you girls are.He is really proud of you both and has asked me to take care of you both.

You both know we love you so so much, and he asked me since he is not here, I should love you on his behalf as well.

I know past 6 months had been tough for us, but daddy doesn't like us to be sad, instead, he wants us to be happy always and smile.

So, how about from now on, we stop becoming sad and be happy instead. Let's be thankful for life's blessings.

You daddy is always with us, even if we can't see him, he is there watching out for us.

And here, I have some special gifts for you both, from Daddy and myself.

As both sisters opened their gifts, they saw it was nice blue diaries for both of them. They got excited and Advika said "Thanks, Mummy. But what should we write in this diary? Anvika too gave surprised looks.

Arpita smiled and said, "Capture your happiness and good moments of life, something that when you look back, brings a smile on your face.

And guess what, this is one for Mom too. So what do you say girls, let's create some good memories in life and capture it?

The girls shouted in excitement and said, Yes, Mom, Let's do it.

Both the girls in excitement said to Arpita, We'll go and show this to Grandpa and Grandma, you also come down for breakfast.

Arpita was left behind with the pink envelope in her hand. She held that letter close to her heart and said, Rajeev, Thank you for what you did yesterday. You already gave me something amazing to hold on to in this life and hence I am not going to open this envelope. This is the most precious thing for me, shall keep it safe.

However I promise shall create more beautiful memories in life and shall capture them in the blue diary.

Somewhere in the clouds, there was a face that smiled and said to himself, "Magic of the Blue Diary"