Love@365 Days

“Friends?” “No. ”“Lovers?”“No. ” “Best Friends?” “No. ” “Then what are you guys?” “Something that only the two of us can understand and feel. Something just too pure and beautiful to ruin with a name and a tag. ”

I met Anay on 31st December 2022. When everybody was making plans to party that night, I found him searching for me in the newly opened Mr. DIY outlet of the Phoenix mall in Pune. He was running towards me just as a passenger of Mumbai local train, a minute late and you miss it. He quickly took my hand in his and drove me back to his home. Throughout the journey, I was silent for I could sense the restlessness going on in his heart. He opened the door, we were in his study-room, when he said, "Will you spend a year of your life with me?" I startled. . . was not expecting that to happen. . . I. . . . . I wanted to spend a lifetime with him. . . but. . . I knew I couldn't! Anay was asking me for a match and I wanted to give him wildfire. I didn't know how to love small and he couldn't love me long. The worst part was I couldn't even say no. "Umm. . . Yes!" "Wait. . . I will stay with you only if you abide by some conditions. " "What are those?" "You will talk to me even if you are busy. Be with me even if we are not talking. You will never let any silly things ruin our bond. You will tell me about every minute detail of what happens in a day for you. Promise to share your joy and sorrow while never loosing hope in me. " "I promise to abide by your conditions, but will you promise me to. . . " said Anay. "Promise to ?" "In the sky of stars, be my moon. In the world of lies, be my truth. In the times of blues, be my light. In the era of lust, be my love. In the world of millions, be my only one. In the life of sorrows, be my surge of happiness. " "Yes. . . I promise. "

The first month, January, we spent in trying to know about each other. In February, in that moment, our eyes met and I knew that was how it felt to be struck by lightning. I knew I was in love with him. Did he feel the same? The following month we spent in Goa, North Goa to be precise. It was our favorite place. You and I found peace in those artistic caricatures, colorful houses, marvelous architecture, lively atmosphere and freedom of mind to expression.  Goa felt like home to both of us. After visiting the famous beaches, we celebrated new year once again with the Marathi new year, the Gudi Padwa. How can I ever forget the Paithani saree you gave me? It was your birthday the next month, I couldn't resist myself nor could my curiosity stop me from asking you, "Did you fall in love with me when we travelled together?" "No. I fell in love with you that night when you patiently heard all my fears at 4am. "  Anay replied. He told me,"Tahanlelya tya dhartilahi aata chimb bhijaychay. . . . Pahilya pausachya thembani mang yevadha ka lajaychay. . . " It was raining, the monsoon had just began and it was June. Those days, those long rides, gorgeous landscapes and soft songs in the heart of nature, Lonavala were just amazing. One of the best times we had, which will forever be housing in my memory lane. On 31st August, we visited Shreemant Dagduseth Halwai Ganapati Mandir, it was Ganesh Chaturthi that day, while being a part of those grand celebrations I was happy, hopeful and praying for some more time with him.  

Once Anay said angrily, " Leave me alone. " " That's not what I signed up for!" I said. After which he told me about the complications and problems at his workplace, I listened to them patiently. I was unable to provide him with any technical solutions to the problems, but having someone to listen to his problems made him feel better while leaving me satisfied of being some help to him. There were days when he would be tired and slept on my lap. Sometimes, when I was tired, I slept in his arms. We fell in love just as the moon and the sun fall in love each day and each night. In the next month, we celebrated the festival of lights. We clicked a lot of pictures together. He introduced me to a lot of people, including family and friends that were family. It made me feel special. I could read what was not written and vision everything that was left untold. We had some really good time in those festivities.

Unfortunately, the saddest word in the whole wide world is almost. It was almost the end of December 2022. I was almost good for him. He almost stopped me. I almost waited. We almost made it. Tears rolled down his eyes when Anay said, "Goodbye. " "Yah. . Goodbye. " I said. When we both were waiting for the same question " Can we talk for some more time? Can we stay some longer together?"

It was the 365th day and I found myself in a dusty room. In the distance, the shopkeeper was screaming at a boy, "Get those books and diaries too. We'll shred them next. " I was torn into pieces of paper while wondering, " Am I too soft or the world too hard? Perhaps I feel too much. But wasn't that the point of being a personal diary?"