Life After Death____

Who am I? I am Panchhabhutam, air, sky, earth, fire and water. I am made of five tattvas or materials or substances, apart from all earthly materials, I am the Brahma, the soul. I am the living being, one instrument of lord Jagannath. My life should be dedicated to all, who want my inner blessings in the form of Prakriti, nature to help a community in a form of social services. Human service is the Narayan service. Service to man is service to God. I was extremely worried when my gallbladder was infected with stones, it is said, the bladder is automatically reacted with stones small or big, no matter, once stones are formed in the body it becomes reactive unnaturally, the body cannot digest anything, it infects to other vital organs or parts of the body, so I was determined to remove my gallbladder, one of the organs of my body after the fear of pandemic is reduced. 

Everywhere people are worried or panicking for the terror or fear of Corona. I decided to visit my doctor keeping a long time gap to investigate my postponed or pending surgery. Here I want to write the essence of the story that how I was before the surgery, all my false egos, vanity, arrogance for being granted a healthy life vanished into ashes when I realized, I am nothing, dust in the eyes of God. Once my passions are fulfilled, my earthly body will recreate another passion within me, there is no end of my passion, as Goutam Budha said, greediness creates attachment, attachment creates anger, anger creates forgetfulness, then ultimately death. my story starts with the attachment of my daughters, whom I gave birth after my marriage. Fortunately, my two daughters were god gifted. They were blessed with some unknown divine power. 

Goddess and lord Jagannath always protected them from all devil sighting. So many times she is rescued from an accident also. My elder daughter was healthy, we always try to bring up her as a very strong boy not only a girl, we taught her not to wear bangles or necklaces, bindi, or flowers. I was always getting pain in my heart while she was being overstressed or overloaded with studies to score the first rank in her scholastic career. She had taken the challenges of life so boldly. She used to take the challenges of life as a good student, dancer, orator, and singer, she never admits defeat in her life. She was the extremely challenging type of girl who reaches her destiny before the time declares a victory or success of time over destiny. 

She came out as a successful career-oriented girl who could be able to achieve anything. I was feeling as if my duty as a mother going to be finished slowly, suddenly her destiny of life took a new turn when she was engaged with her life partner another journey of a newly married life while two families are knot or tied together in the holy thread of marriage. Usually, one daughter is utmost pampered or over cared for by her family members who belong to whichever category very rich or middle class or very poor, that does not matter, but she remains as the angel or queen or darling of her parents always. She gets a birth right to scold her parents, sometimes her anger, failure, or frustration on mother or sometimes her unnecessary demand, requirements on father. In reality, the daughter knows how to balance both families mothers-in-law as well as mother families, she knows how to balance in between the secret relationship of a daughter with her husband and father too manipulating their obligations or demands of life, sometimes financially or sometimes mental support. 

It is true that some husbend are very self-reliant with self-respect, they do not like their wives to get any type of help from parents that I cannot understand why such type of sons-in-law try to be so arrogant and self-reliant, they seriously try to deprive of the right of a daughter from their parents. So far It is not good. My daughter who was so self-independent could be able to earn or challenge any professional man how could she be the target of any financial or emotional crisis, except the crisis of balancing two families in a knot. Yes, things were very difficult, sometimes things are appeared or assumed so smooth and easy but morally or emotionally it appears totally different. It hampers the self-respect of a daughter specifically those who have been brought up in a challenging or struggling spirit always. Who neither depends on husband nor on father, who had learned to earn as well as spend independently, who never wants to be the cause of burdon or dependence, cause of discomfort or discontent. Both my son in laws and daughter were very caring over sentimental in performing their duties perfectly. I felt proud for them.

 

She was blessed with a son with the grace of God. I was blessed with a grandson, the most fortunate time of my life, I was more attached with love, affection attachment of my grandson. I was extremely excited to see the loving face of my newborn baby. I had carried a lot of things with me for the newborn baby like a quilt, blanket mattresses, so many dresses, waste clothes. After 15 days the newborn baby was supposed to take birth.

As a mother I was overly concerned about the first delivery of my daughter, I was over-anxious as well as overprotective about her health, I was extremely worried seeing their lifestyle first as a working lady maintaining a professional career she was literally struggling hard, such a strenuous life, I was taken aback. I had council her a lot not to walk fast or run fast. I advised her to avoid climbing up the steps or getting down the steps, rather use more accelerators, she had to walk a long way to the station for metro trains and buses frequently normally 4 or 5 kilometers she used to walk. She had taken maternity leave for one year with no loss of her salary and job. It was wonderful grace of God for women. All government as well as private companies take care of pregnant women. Then maids appointment was another risky job for them, the maids in foreign countries are like the blessing of God. 

They come through the long journey so they work in two-three houses hurridly, each house they count fixed time for work, after finishing their part-time job they return back, they never show interest for doing any extra job like cooking, it was totally my responsibility to look after her food which was a very important and essential part of my duty. 

I had started experimenting with so many dishes like kheer payasam, cemein , halwa, wada sambar but the system of the kitchen provision of sink part, other utensils were not so convenient or comfortable to do our Indian dishes, with so much difficulty I had to learn the techniques or uses of their pipeline gas, induction stove, etc with very limited space, utensils and modern technology devices.

While I was a little confident in making dishes, her newborn child was born. 

Daughters are gifts of God to the parents, mothers should feel proud of their daughters always. If we consider sex difference then boys are born more to be extrovert, energetic, sporty spirit than girls, of course physically they are weak, delicate too. whereas other fields they excel from boys in the spontaneity of speech, expression, artistic skills, extremely creative, intelligence level also very god. They excel from boys from all fields educational careers, professional careers like medicines, engineering, accountancy, administration, even army, police all physical hazardous works they perform perfectly without any faults, incompetency or inefficiency inability unskilled works are not the results of girls part, They also perform perfectly the duties of mothers in bringing up their own children along with taking care of in-laws family as well as mother's family, they are perfect in all respect in discharging their duties. They are practical enough. 

They are extremely caring sensitive type being brought up with good habits and moralism, They have inculcated all virtues of the ideal citizen, They have been struggled hard in their lives to achieve success in their lives. They are creative passionate, pleasant, soft graceful, beautiful creations of God. One thing why I am writing this note because all parents must feel proud for their daughters, It is the blessing of God in disguise to bring up a girl child who gives the parents one opportunity to serve a girl child who is the most delicate but hard like iron in her determination in achieving her goal of life. She is the blessing of God, carrying a very beautiful loving caring mind with a soft passionate heart. Yes, the time has its own impact on girls' lives as they are expected to be stronger determined like boys to be the best performers in their lives excelling all gender differences that exist in this male-dominated world. They strive hard to earn for the survival of the best. 

They are not challengers for parents. sometimes parents take the daughters as challengers, they want to see their daughters must study more, they should get more efficient, more capable jobs in their lives, they take them as challenges or competitors similarly daughters take the parents as more challengers or rival of their lives. They do not like the simple, delicate lives of their mothers being housewives only taking care of their children only, they get more struggling, stressful, competitive challenging lives than their mothers or fathers. sometimes they get frustrated if they cannot share their problems, mental stress comfortably with their parents if they do not faith in their parents if they hide their distress, strifes, stress helplessness from their parents. 

One thing here I want to say that parents are fortunate enough if they bring up one girl child providing her all facilities like higher education, proper nutritious food, and other miscellaneous requirements. it is called daughters are goddess or Laxmi in our house in all religious holy books. Once we give marriage to daughters we get divine blessings of God, when parents see the grandson or daughter of her daughter, they go to heaven. so, daughters should never feel formality with their parents, even if they do hundred of mistakes, vices but it is the duty of the parents to excuse a daughter's mistakes always giving her chances to realize her mistakes. Yes, I do not say that daughters do not have their duties towards their parents or in laws. 

They must do their duties no doubt, but if a daughter feels informal or she hides her problems under self-consciousness or in the disguise of her vanity self-ego, prestige consciousness of not giving problems to the parents then the life of the parents go to hell, their sacrifices, penance, holiness go to dust if they could not help their daughters in their miseries or emergency needs. If the daughter could not faith or felt shame, shyness, hateration, humiliation, any inferiority complex not to be the burden or problems for her parents then also it is considered as a vice or crime or tragedy for the parents who were deprived of getting again the godly or divine opportunity of performing their parental duties what the god had given them once more time. I also agree to the same duties or responsibilities or obligations on the part of daughters who should perform it properly. 

They should understand the sentiments of their parents, They should take care of their parents what they really need. One important thing is, they should not deprive of their parent's obligations or duties for their daughters as a token of love attachment in whatever sense we can define it., They should not deny their gifts in any form it is like money, costly gifts or food or cloth, or anything as a token of their love in a positive acceptance way.

After I got back a new life, I realized that the services, the gifts whatever we contribute to daughters are precious gifts or blessings of gods in disguise which we should not be deprived of at any cost. We should be thankful and obliged to god if we could have got such opportunities to serve our daughters without vanity, ego, rivalry or revenge on any cost. We get true holiness ,boons blessings of if we could have performed our duties as a mother to our daughters whatever they need from their parents in their crisis or crucial time. They are best competitors,  best performers, best job oriented, best mothers , best daughters and best daughter in laws of their families and society both but we as mothers must use of the opportunities to serve them our best.

Nowadays all have money, but we have developed a lack of obligation, duties, moral sense, attachment, feelings of sacrifices moral obligations, words of holy books or epics, that is why our lives have become lonely immoral, anti-social, nonattachment, rebellious type. we lack all social obligations, love, attachment sense of sacrifices. we are deprived of all social formalities. This time is only mechanical, fashionable, loneliness electronics superficial digital relationship more virtual togetherness, social relationship totally less. 

We are living very lonely superficial ultra-modern digital lives only, the joint family system has broken up badly, tragedy in breaking joint family life now. All want to be very independent, non-attached, non-obligation in their social family commitments not in the sense of money or celebrations or other rituals. 

Mothers should save the current traditional value of the family lives, social relationships, obligations, moral principles of holy books, and the modern era from destruction or ruins.