Letting Go!

All this that you see, the glistening smile, the sparkled up face, the dreamy eyes they are not because I am over the pain of lifetime you left me with, it's because standing here, at the precipice, I can see how right you were. Though you were rattling things to get me off you, but those things somehow turned out to be true.

Partially maybe. No time doesn't heal all wounds, it draws a flimsy veil though. So that we pass and like all others, even I did.

You were right when you said, ‘It's no big deal, happens with everyone.’ Partially right as I said before. Partially, because i knew what we had was different. One of its kind in the cosmos.

I feel funny now, to think that way. Because when you left; you left me to crib in the very same cosmos with million others-alike others.

Maybe that is what I needed. Because the melancholies of my eyes were too shallow for you drown into, to drown in them, you needed to be fearless which you weren't.

He is.

Yes him! He knows what price he has to pay if he chooses to lose himself for the kohl of my eyes. Because he knows, how horrendously I'll love him once he surrenders himself to me. Because he knows, there is no going back.

And all this is because, he knows he what he wants. Love, that is what he had been searching for. Love, that is what I've been waiting to pour in.

Being a traveller, you could certainly not contain all that I had to give, all that I had to say, you were in a hurry, to run, explore, live. You were a sandstorm.

But he, he is a sea.

It horrifies me you know, sometimes, when he starts talking like you. It takes me back to our time. The time which was dark, but the time I never wanted to leave behind.

I've not fallen for him though. I can't. I can keep him safe, heal his wounds, shelter him in my shade, can love but cannot fall as I did for you. Told you, what we had was one of a kind.

He'll also break me. I know that but not as bad as you did. Remember?

That is what you said the night you left.

It's better you have left, because you would have never made it to the end. To sail through the ocean of my heart, to gauge the depth of my bittersweet sadness, you needed to be an extraordinary sailor, a valiant soldier.

And to discover the answer to all those wanderings you had about me, you had to be willing to get stuck and struggle forever into the labyrinth that I am.

I am the mystery you can never end up solving. I am to stay this way forever, drenched in my own sadness.

Not that he loves me or something, but he is willing to be stuck and struggle and not leave.  

Because I know, he has been there and knows what it feels like when you are left to crawl in the dungeons of past.

Your feeble existence couldn't go through so much. Because you haven't been into that darkness I am talking about. You probably have no idea about it. You never had. Ever. And that is why you were scared-so scared.

And all this while, till the time he walked in, I kept these innumerable grudges on you.

But you know what

now that he is here;

I feel, maybe it's okay.

Maybe you left because you had to.

Or maybe because lately, I've been better after what feels like a millennium.