Letting Go...

She was dying, lying on the cold ICU bed with machines beeping all around her, she had lost the count of days since she was here. Her husband would come to meet her twice daily, coz that was how the rules at the ICU went by. Visitors could meet their kin at 6 am and 6 pm for a maximum of ten minutes. She, a mother of three, with her last born barely a couple of years old. Her eldest born was a little over ten years. What would have been the thoughts of this mother as she lay motionless with tubes attached all over her body. Her mother in law was a good soul. She would probably take care of her children after she was gone. But a mother's heart cannot rest in peace. Even if she is in severe pain, her heart aches at the thought of her children. She was among those charming, elegant women who loved to dress up. Her husband lovingly indulged her in every bit of luxury. Any celebration, occasion or festival and she would be dressed to the moon. Her bindi, her choodi and her jhumkha… it would all just perfectly complement her grace. She was busy with creating a perfect heirloom for her daughters when the misfortune struck. She was diagnosed with multiple organ failures. The medical field was not that advanced then as it is today, and hence the delay in diagnosis. Lying on that cold bed, staring at those white walls, would she have thought of her wardrobe and her precious jewellery. Would she have been worried as to what would come of her collection?

As much as I know her, I am sure she would have longed to live long. Long enough to see her daughters get settled with their careers and get married off. Long enough to see her son bring his lady love home. Her kids were too small when she left this world, but I know for a fact that every mother dreams of her children growing up and flying away to build their nests. 

I know, her pain was too overbearing. She was not able to take it anymore. I did go to meet her once, a few days before she passed away. She just looked up. She would have thought that her seven-year-old is too strong to have come to see her at the ICU. She was always aware that this second born of her's was too stubborn. They said she had woken up once, given a faint smile before slipping back into eternal sleep. She embraced death leaving her children to their destiny. She would have left the world that she had created with a heart full of regrets. Regrets of not having loved her children enough, of not having hugged them enough, of having lived with them enough. She was strong enough to let go of all of her possessions and embrace the unknown darkness.