Is respect absolute attribute?

Many times, our mind wanders through the fact, even when we are putting effort and getting successful, still why are not we receiving more respect and admiration from the crowd.

Let’s consider a case, a guy belonging to the lower-poverty stricken background with parents barely unable to manage two square meals a day. He grows up studying in a government school and with putting in all the efforts he can, scores 78% in class 12th. Then graduating from District College and post-graduate from premier college, where he gets to know about Civil Services. He works hard for 6 years after post graduation and finally qualifies to be a civil servant in the 4th attempt.

Entering LBSNAA for training, he finds there are as young as 22 years old selected for the service, and people are getting attracted like a magnet to them, probably because those 22-year-old guy’s parents were civil servants themselves, and he cleared the examination in 1st attempt itself, as he was preparing for the same from, say, class 11th itself.

The former guy will find himself lost in oblivion. Why he took so much time to clear the same thing. Is, he not worth it. Why he doesn’t have confident body language or efficient communications skills like the latter. While, at the same place, he is being treated like a king in his own hometown. Perhaps, he gets lost in the dilemma.

A similar thing might happen with that latter 22-year-old guy, although people respects and admires him at the front, but occasionally people do come and tell me, you haven’t struggled much, you were born with a silver spoon in the mouth, the guy who comes from poor background struggle more than you to reach here. Though you were preparing from class 11th, that is just because your parents could afford coaching fees. He feels as if he has committed a crime by being born in the upper class, or likewise. Perhaps, he might also get lost in the dilemma.

Probably, incidents like these would have happened with all of us. And, made us feel quite getting dejected and insecure for a moment or so. It happens, nothing to feel guilty about it.

Actually, the fact is, as a child, we are always taught by birth, the more you achieve in life, the more respect you will earn. And, it gets encoded in our subconscious mind and we grow up believing the same.

But, the concept is flawed, a completely flawed one

Although, we are taught the same thing, still there many socio-economic factors that define one’s thought process and how he visualize life. And the same thing applies to other aspects like respect, love, and so on.

Suppose, there is Virat Kohli and Sanjay Leela Bhansali, standing in front of you and you can go and take an autograph from one and only one of them. Some of them will drift towards Kohli, while some will move towards Bhansali. One can say people whose parents were involved in sports are more likely to drift towards Kohli, but does that makes Bhansali less talented and less revered than Kohli. Yes or No. I guess you got the point.

Similarly, I knew some people who got involved in romantic relationships and they fought like 3-4 years to get approval from parents for love marriage(although, not a big deal in metro and tier 1 city, but it is still a taboo in tier 2-3 towns and villages). And, suddenly, they start expecting people will respect them for their struggle. It may so happen, people who went through the same and will be going through the same in the future will admire them. But, you can’t expect the same from every next guy out there. For some people, marriage is just a phase you come across in life and not an achievement, it doesn’t matter which way you choose (arranged or love).

So, the underlying fact is you can’t change everyone’s opinion and vision towards life. We, all are different. So, that thing will also be reflected in treating other's success.

So, it’s better to enjoy what we are doing, rather than expecting flattery from others. Life is too short to expect from others and too long to confuse your own point of view.

At last, I would like to quote

“Cultural norms, beliefs, social background, birthplace, the schools you attended, childhood friends, community influences, and the teachers who taught you, all tend to define your pattern of thinking, which is subtly engraved in your subconscious brain. This pattern is permanent and cannot be altered. What you can do to alter the pattern, is to re-program your sub-conscious brain to believe in something else, while in actual fact, the original brain pattern whether good or bad, sticks with you the rest of your life.” – Flavin Mwasi, A Top Quora Writer