I Wouldn't Change A Thing
I Wouldn't Change A Thing
Never give up”, one of the most clichéd dialogues we have heard over the years especially coming closer to the tenth standard. But the reason this clichéd dialogue always seems to work is because you never know when success will be around the corner, or at least that’s what I had heard. My story isn’t one like J.K Rowling’s or Stephen Kings that had a rough start and then later everything panned out no, I was a teenager living in the 21st century where depression struck at a very young age and every eight year old had an I-phone. There was something bound to go wrong.
My story starts off like everyone’s entering a new school not knowing anyone and trembling around class wondering how I was going to survive in such a place. I felt like I had been thrown into a hostile camp with 40 people because at every corner I turned, I felt threatened. But the years went by and we all reached that age where marks became more important than health and the competition was tremendous and I was in class eight. Suddenly the pressure kicked in and having an older brother giving his boards didn’t help much. But still I learned to find happiness in the little things of life and grew as person laughing and relishing every minute. My life seemed to revolve around dogs and I got one as a birthday gift and I was on top of the world. Everything was great I mean what could go wrong? But I’m sure that somewhere someone was sitting and was putting the evil eye on me because everything went south in ninth. But before that let me tell you a bit about me and my life. I was a passionate girl I loved to sing and orate and found happiness in making other people happy. So then came the ninth standard where we started to prepare for our boards. The pressure then hit me. It was then that people had already decided their career paths and what they wanted to do after tenth and I sat clueless as ever in 9A. My brother knew what he was going to do and being the oldest, all the pressure was diverted to him thankfully. But slowly I realized that everything was going wrong. Overconfidence set in and I stopped practicing for my speeches. I knew that I wouldn’t win without practice and that’s exactly what happened. I started to forget my speeches, stammer on stage and nervously my legs would start shaking in front of a crowd. This wasn’t me, I was the confident one who would talk to people on stage impromptu. I somehow got through this stage of my life losing hope that I would ever be the same. Tenth wasn’t panning out to be any better. Day one it hit me and hit me really hard the head girl title was taken away in a snap. I don’t remember how I passed my time that day but the time I cried into my mother’s arms is something I would never forget. Wounds heal with time but this one would take a lot more than time to heal. Things just went from bad to worse to gruesome. My competitions were slipping away from me and I was tried and slowed down to catch it. But one competition really tore me down. The AISM elocution competition where the winner would go to Delhi for the finale. I thought I had this one in the bag. So on the 7th of September I put on my coat brushed my shoes and stood in a class of mere twelve and delivered my speech. I hit rock bottom when I didn’t even make it to the second round. I had given up and I know this was a stupid reason but I was really down, and what happened next didn’t help my case any further. People that I had trusted the people who had been with me for the six years of my life turned their backs on me. I was isolated most of the time because your teen temptations now took a step in. I then did something to myself I solely regret even now, I let myself be convinced that other people were talking about me and the phrase “don’t care what people think about you” was my life story. I entered the room and instantly my mind went into the mood, “what are people thinking about you?” this would not only hurt me emotionally but my health would also degrade due to my asthma. So I sat alone on the last bench and something written on the desk caught my attention, don’t let anyone try to tell you who you are. I read it again and again. At this time of the story this would be the turning point where the hero would understand and then all his problem would disappear in thin air. This was life not a movie where a scene of twenty five seconds of transition would change everything. This continued on for a very long time and the times I cried myself to sleep grew bigger until I was given another competition to step into. There was a scene in Dark Knight Rises where Robin tells Batman that he has learned the art of wearing the best fake smile.
That was an art I mastered over the months and with the approach of the competition I kept the mask on. It was a personality event and if I wanted to win I had to show my true side. The side behind the strong exterior. The one thing that I could lean back to was those two people. Whenever I was around them I seemed to forget everything. The competition was of four rounds the second being an interview with the panel. The one thing I was taught that I have to be true to myself and true about myself.so I sat down for my interview and poured my heart out saying one thing, confidence is not saying that I want people to like me confidence is saying that I’ll be okay if they don’t. The third round was a talent round and this was the time I sat down being the last one stage and sang my heart making my way to the fourth round. I made it to the last round with a feeling of satisfaction filling the air for a split second. The fourth round came and there was one question standing between me and the trophy. “What would my winning pose?” My answer simple, to put up ghagra and show off my converse shoes. That win was not a win of the competition for me it was something I can’t down in words.
So if this was a three hour movie, it has ended with the hero happy and everything would be in his favor but this is my story and it keeps on writing itself. They say that you can write your own destiny and this is me doing exactly that in less than two thousand words. Wounds heal but scars remain forever because they show the struggles you have gone through and won.