I am still waiting............

I was born in a village. A place where a girl is only born for taking care of family, cooking, cleaning, and learning all sorts of things to be a perfect housewife. A place where only dream of girls is to get married to a good family and be a good housewife. There is no other dream, no other option for girls. Fortunately, I was a brilliant child as my parents allowed me to dream. They said dream big and fulfill your dreams, we are always with you. Everything was good. I used to score 98% every time. I was always the topper in my school. I was example in my community and many people started educating their daughters and taking care of their dreams. I was happy.

Everything was going smooth. I decided to be an IPS Officer. For my further studies that is class 9th onwards, I left my village and moved to Pithoragarh. Although I was not the top student but I was one of the top students. I didn't had much friends, because I always thought that I should keep my friendship circle small, so I had only one and best friend Gunjan. We were best buddies for each other. She was more intelligent than me. My world in school only revolved around. Because of this, I used to think that I had only one friend and I never considered other girls my friend even though they were very kind to me. Once I got my periods in school, this happened in 10th standard, a girl from another section informed me as my white skirt got stained and I was unaware about it. Two girls accompanied me to restroom along with Gunjan. The girl who informed me asked if she should call my friends and I told her I don't have any friends except Gunjan, I spoke it in front of those girls. They became sad but didn't pretended to be okay as I was already crying. They didn't want to hurt me. Everything was fine after that. I never realized that I had hurt their feelings till now. Whenever I think about that incidence I think how rude I was back then. Anyways, let's move further with the story.

So, after this incidence days passed, final exams were approaching. There came a time when we had to choose our subjects. I realized the subject which I loved the most was Social science. Although I didn't dislike other subjects but Social science became my favourite. But I also found that Gunjan was taking science and maths. So, I told myself that I don't hate science either, so along with her I took science and maths as well. Yeah, my mistake, I was such an idiot that time. I scored pretty well in my 10th and took PCMB( physics, chemistry, maths, biology) along with Gunjan. Those other girls were also there who helped me in my period incidence. That became the moment where tragedy starts, I was no more topper and used to barely pass in Maths and Chemistry. Few times I even thought there is nothing to worry as Gunjan is with me, she will help me as things were going great between us, we were enjoying our time. New admissions were going on. Whenever a new student enters our class Gunjan was the first one to welcome them, be it a boy or girl.

She used to roam will new students leaving me all alone. I used to be very sad because of this and I used to cry in corner. Slowly Gunjan started ignoring me, leaving me all alone to suffer in my school life. I used to be sad because of my marks and because she was ignoring me. I apologized to her many times even though I was not at fault but I thought I was. I used to write her letter saying that I was worthless that you don't want to be friends with me anymore. I asked other girls of my class to help me in this situation as we were the example of best buddies in our class. One day Gunjan said that I was very mean and I mock every low scoring students so she doesn't wants to be friends with me anymore. I was shocked hearing that. It happened in mid year of my 11th standard. I was never mean to anyone and I never mocked any student because I know everyone is unique and special. But Gunjan gave me this reason saying I was a very bad girl. I know I was rude those girls by saying that I only have one friend but I was never mean to them or anybody else. So, that's how our friendship ended and I was left alone. Gunjan became friends with that girl (Roshani) who used to mock me.

Now I was all alone battling my studies with no friends. There was a boy (Gautam) but even he couldn't help me as he was all about Gunjan. Although Gautam never mocked me, he was a good boy. So with with weak studies and no friends I was left to suffer all by myself. Days were passing by. One day I wrote a fiction story about a magical tree and with God's grace that story was selected by a newspaper editor and was published in Amar Ujala newspaper. I was happy, my classmates and my teachers congratulated me. I was happy. The first to whom I shared this happy news was Gunjan. You might be thinking why not my parents , because I got this news in my school itself. One of my classmate told me about this. So, I told Gunjan but she was not happy with the news. She ignored my words. But still I was happy because I knew my parents would be definitely happy with this news. I came home I told my parents about this and they were super happy with my small achievement. Days passed and this news too became old.

Now came the time of annual function of our school. There were two options for me to participate, one was dance program of 1min in which Gunjan was participating and other was hindi drama which I loved. Initially I thought I should go with dance program and I will be able to spend some time with Gunjan( yeah, I still wanted to be her friend after all the humiliation). As I was on way, I stopped, me heart said-" You are going to participate in dance competition because of Gunjan, you know she doesn't like you anymore. Are you really that shameless to give what you love for that person who just used you as a soft toy. " I stopped and decided this time I won't leave my interest for someone who doesn't even care about me. I went for the drama.

Since it was hindi drama so nit much participants were there. My drama in charge told us to prepare the story line and dialogues. I already had a story in my book so I offered to do so. Since there were no other stories, teacher accepted that story. I was happy because I was participating in which I was interested. Next day I was informed that principal sir has changed the topic and told the drama in charge to prepare for drama themed Clean India. Sir informed me about that. Now the new problem was to find story and dialogue for this topic. Sir told me to do it as my story was published in newspaper so told me to prepare a skit of 10-12 minutes for 20 people. I searched the whole day on internet but couldn't find anything as per demand. So, I decided to write the story on my own. It took me 2 days and story with dialogue was prepared. My drama in charge loved that story and decided to perform drama of that story. So, preparations continued. I had to make few changes in the story as after hearing the story line many more students wanted to do it. Also after applying for drama there was no other event in which they could participate so under any circumstances I could not tell them to leave. I modified the story and now all new students could also participate.

Preparation started and on the D-day, we gave a wonderful performance and our skit became the star of the show. Even the chief guest appreciated us. In the same event the 10th toppers were being awarded for scoring 10 CGPA. Gunjan was also awarded. I became very sad as I hadn't scored 10 CGPA so I was not awarded. I thought I couldn't even give my parents a little bit of happiness. Sadly, I went home. Well, few days passed, 10 CGPA holders were awarded thrice. I begin thinking that I was the most useless child of my parents and with this sad moment few more days passed. Later we got the news that our skit was so much loved that we were called to perform that skit again in front of media. The skit was appreciated and it was also published in the newspaper. I was happy, My parents were happy Gunjan was angry and jealous. 

This is just a part of my life which will be updated. 

But I will always be waiting for the day to apologize to those girls to whom I was rude. I am really sorry for trusting wrong person and I am sorry for being rude to the right ones. I am still waiting..........