I am NOT a Special Mom

As a mother of a child with special needs and being very vocal about it, I often get to hear words like "You are special" "You are a Super Mom" "You are the chosen one" "You are the blessed one"

Although I understand you are coming from a good place and you mean well, let me ask you - Am I the only one blessed? When you look at your own child don't you feel blessed too? Then how am I the chosen one? I am striving here to give my child the best and so are you. Then how am I a Super Mom.

I know your intentions are pure and you may have never thought about it this way. Before my son was born, I also didn't think so deeply about these things. But when you say I am a Special Mom, you are implying I am different than others. You are creating a barrier, a divide between you and me. While what I will really appreciate is that you think of me as 'one of us'.

I once went to a school for my son's admission. They told me he will not be able to cope up with other kids. They stated all reasons ranging from how their school is very much academic-oriented making my son a misfit. Seeing the dejected look on my face, the Principal smiled and said "I will give you a hug because you are the chosen one." What should I do with your sugarcoated words and hugs? All I need is for you to believe in me and in my child. By law, no school can deny admission to any child on grounds of Intellectual challenges. All I want is for you to believe in the laws of this country.

When your child stares at a child with disability and you ask him NOT to stare, you are implying your child not to engage with that child. Instead of stopping your child from staring, try asking your child "Would you like to say hi or ask him to play with you? " That way you can make that child feel loved and accepted.

These are just few examples of how we unknowingly create a divide. I again iterate, I understand most of you mean well and do it with good intentions but have not really thought about the implications. This blog is for those who have the compassion and want to help, but don't know how to help.

Just as you do for your child, I also want my child to be happy and content in life. Instead of calling me a SuperMom and putting me on a pedestal, I would appreciate it more if you would just invite me for a casual chit chat. There are things that I can chat about other than Down Syndrome too!!

So yes, while my child has special needs, I am NOT a Special Mom!