Friendship Lost?

Yesterday, I found out that my best friend of 30+ years was ending our friendship, but I had no idea we were even quarreling. This is the letter I wrote her a little while ago. Please be aware, there are a few times I use cuss words.

Sissy,

I sit here and wonder if you truly know what it means to be a sister. No. Moreover, I question if you know how to be my sister, especially since 2019 when I lost Jeremy. You are a typical Leo female, but so am I. We’ve both had different agendas throughout our lives, yet we get hurt in the same way almost every time. Still, I find myself trying to figure out what I’ve done for the umpteenth time, and all I have honestly is missed some of your messages because I never saw them in the notifications window on my phone. I don’t understand how you have once again ended the friendship, but I wasn’t even aware of the fact that you were mad at me until, yesterday.

This is what it means to be my sister:

Drop the “I’m still in 7th grade” childish-ass attitude, and behave like we’re at least 35 (ha ha)!

Don’t stand in judgment of me, you are not God

Don’t try to tell me how to grieve my husband, my experience is supposed to be different from yours

Don’t get your feelings hurt when you don’t hear from me, get your ass over here and check on me

You know my phone is off, and I’ve dealt with my old man putting his hands on me out of anger, 

And you know I have no clue

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where you live, and I’ve got no way over there even if I had your address 

Therefore, you should come to check on me as often as once a month 

Hell if it were you, I’d be by your place 2-3 times a week 

Must I remind you of the way I stood up to Mike in 1999? 

But you see? That’s the difference between you and me I‘d care enough to see about your well-being all the time (if you were me and in my shoes) 

You? You don’t even care enough to check on me since that day in August, and here it is October 

And I’m not talking about hitting you up on Messenger, I’m talking, I would be at your door making sure I got to see that you were still alive and well

Don’t turn your back on me when I’m not doing things the same way you would do (or have done)

Being my sister (especially since 2019), means you are always there for me, no matter how much you don’t like the way my life is going. I don’t mean for you to throw a fuckin temper tantrum every time I don’t answer you on a phone that runs off wi-fi that is probably going to be shut off soon, I can feel it coming. It means, for once in your life, let go of your need to control everything, let go of your selfish ways, and start being considerate of me. If I need you to come to check on me, you shouldn’t even have to ask if you can come by JUST BRING YOUR Axx OVER!

You’re 43 years old, and I need my little sister to cut me lots and lots of slack.