The Blames You Took

Why don't you read his diary? Mom questioned Santhosh.

I don't think it's a good idea, Mom. Santhosh kept the diary back on the shelf.

It was the third day after his father's demise. Chinna karma (one of the rituals performed on the third day after a person's death).

The relatives went after much discussion about the life of his father. He closed the door and took the diary and started reading.

" The life of a man in India starts with expectations when he was in mother's womb".

Father expects his son going to achieve something which he was not able to. Their mother expects he is going to be a good man.

As you grow up the expectations become exponentially higher. Relatives, friends, family and colleagues, and more people. More expectations. More pressure.

An ordinary man's life is mostly spent fitting into the categories to satisfy expectations.

In all these things, he forgets to love himself. Every day, a new insecurity adds to his memory because of comparison. Those memories become mental scars. And as you cover your fat with the hoodie outside, he covers those scars with uninteresting facial expressions as every other guy does.

Santhosh paused as his eyes became wet.

He touched his father's picture frame at the side of the bed.

Self-love, Self-obsession somewhat help him.

But if he learns this lesson early age it would be more beneficial.

Santhosh almost cried after reading this. He never thought his father has this much to say. 

He rechecked his mental scars of expectations.