Emote Emotions4 mins 95 4 mins 95
My colleague Gita, was sitting sad and sullen one day. I asked her what was wrong and offered to help. She opened up,"Owing to his transfer my husband received a farewell at his office yesterday. It was an unforgettable and emotional adieu. It seems his entire staff said that they would be missing him awfully and that they had learnt lots from him." "You should feel happy about that, why are you sulking ?" I interrupted. "I am happy that he was appreciated. He leaves home at 8 a.m. and returns at 10 p.m. He works hard no doubt, that's why the recognition. Therefore, though I too am a working woman, I shoulder the entire responsibility of the home including social contacts, kids, etc. Like a school going boy, his duty is only to attend office and reach home. I don't expect him to help me, because I understand he has no time. When he was talking so high about his farewell, I expected him to at least say a few words to me that because of my commitment it was easy for him to work so smoothly. I too leave home at 8.30 a.m. and reach around 6 p.m. I do get drained out at times but I never mind. I didn't expect him to deliver a speech about me in the office. I just awaited for a few words of appreciation to me personally. When I put forth my dissatisfaction he said, "You know me very well, even before getting married, I had told you I am an introvert and cannot express my feelings." "He loves me very much no doubt, but after doing so much I too yearn for recognition."
The other day, my sister was complaining, that her grown-up sons keep sending gifts to her on birthdays and anniversaries but never open up and maintain a close rapport with her, though she had slogged for them throughout. Once, I was shocked to find my male chauvinistic uncle screaming at my aunt for a petty misdeed she had done. She started sobbing bitterly. Though I was too young, I suggested to her to make matters clear. She said she didn't have the guts to do so.
Such incidents are common. However me must realize that we are human beings with feelings. We yearn for attention because it is the rarest and purest form of generosity. No matter how much we age, that little childlike attitude still exists somewhere deep within us, as a result when appreciated or recognized we feel happy and talk about it. For example, in Gita's case had her husband spoken a few words of gratitude, it would have made a whole lot of difference for her. A person who is appreciated will do more than is expected.
Distance never kills a relation, closeness never builds a relation. It is the care of one's feelings which creates faith and maintains a relation. Instead of just showering gifts, if my nephews could communicate intimately with my sister, she would be leading a more satisfying life.
We must express our inner feelings and emotions. Instead of silently subjugating to her husband if my aunt could tell my uncle how much she was hurt, maybe he would mend his ways. We cannot be predetermined with our attitudes and character traits. If need arises, we must be able to change and adapt to situations. Good, bad or ugly, we must open up and talk, that is what is called transparency, a quintessential feature of any relationship and a binding factor. How will the other person know, what is going on in our mind, until we don't speak up ? We must understand and be understood. We are in this world for a short duration only. Let us make this short span, sweet by being happy and keeping others happy. Let us know each other better.
As stated by our beloved Mahatria, "It is not what you feel within, but it is the expression of your thoughts and feelings that makes a difference in your relationships."
No candle loses its light, while lighting another candle. Let us never stop sharing, caring, helping, understanding and appreciating because these make our lives enlivening.