Dream To Achieve

Lukla, Nepal.

February, 2009

Here I am. Back again. Coming back here, every time I feel it might be easier than the last. But it is not. It is always harder. But after failing so many times, the fear of failure one more time doesn't scare me.

I see Sherpa Lita standing a few feet away. I instantly go towards him. Sherpas are guides while climbing mountains.

"Hello Sir, how are you?", I asked.

"Hello Laila. I see you are here again. Laila, you know I would be the last person to discourage you. But it is your 4th attempt. Last time you couldn't make it past Base Camp. You won't get chosen again. Haven't the past three years taught you that maybe you are not carved for this? Laila, climbing Mt. Everest is not everyone's cup of tea dear", he said with concern.

I remembered the last time. It was my third attempt and I had finally made my place in the group of trekkers. But as we had reached the Base Camp, the conditions didn't agree with me. I was coughing up blood, finding it difficult to breathe. All the sherpas decided to send me back. They thought I would be a liability to the group, slowing them down. So I had to return disappointed. But this time, I would die. But not give up. This is the last opportunity I am giving myself.

"I know Sherpa. But you know why I am doing this. I am going to keep trying till I succeed. This has become my life's purpose, sherpa. Please don't take it away from me. I have worked on my fitness. Please allow me to come this time. Please", I was so desperate that it almost sounded like I was begging him.

"Laila, I have become too fond of you. And seeing you like this, trying every year, I cannot bear that. I will take you. But you know the risks right? And your life, your health, I can't guarantee anything. Those conditions are harsh. There will be times you wish you would die, that all this should end. Do you promise that even then, you will continue going? If you do, then you are in. I am trusting you Laila."

"I promise Sir. I will not let you down. I will do whatever it takes to complete that climb," I said with determination.

2 weeks later:

We have reached the Everest base camp. The climb from Lukla was not as bad as I had expected it to be, but I knew I shouldn't feel too hopeful. The climb ahead was going to be a thousand times tougher. Considering that I faced major difficulty getting here the previous time, I was happy with my improvement.

The base camp is at 17,500 feet approx. This is where we will be staying for the next 2 months, acclimatizing ourselves to the harsh and rough conditions. We will also be trekking up quite a lot and coming back, to be ready for the ultimate climb to the summit.

We are a group of 500 enthusiastic, zealous people. Everyone is excited. But this was going to be treacherous, draining us physically as well as psychologically. I am sure this excitement won't persist in half of the people on the way back, assuming everyone is fortunate enough to finish the climb and return.

Spring is supposed to be the most favourable for climbing. Months of March to May are the most pleasant and don't boast of extreme conditions. Temperature at the base camp goes up to 15°C during the day and falls to almost -25°C at night. We have to wash our clothes with frozen water, by breaking the ice. It is tough to do it quickly before the water freezes again. Food also rarely stays hot, freezing quickly. But I was prepared for such conditions. It wasn't going to be easy after all. I won't give up. Even if I don't complete the climb this time, I will keep trying year to year.

2 months later:

We are now going to begin our ascent to the summit. There are 4 camps which we will cross before trekking to the top. We would be trekking to each camp, resting there for a few hours, and making our way to the next one.

Journey till Camp 1 has to be made using ropes and ladders. There are many crevasses which can easily open up anywhere, making ropes and ladders essential. Everywhere around me, I could see people struggling to climb.

Sherpa Lita's eyes were on me, looking at me, making sure I was doing okay. Sherpa Lita was like a father figure to me, and I know that if anything were to happen to me on this trip, he would hold himself responsible for it. I looked at him, assuring him I was fine.

2 days later, we had reached Camp 4. Unfortunately, 3 people had died on the way here. Two had slipped, one died of hypothermia. It was disconcerting to see them go like that, suddenly. Makes one realise that it takes just one wrong step, just one moment, to kill you.

This was our last stop. After this was the final ascent to the summit, at approx 29,000 ft. From this point on, this area is called "Death Zone". We were almost at the edge of atmosphere, sky was a dark blue colour. It was the closest we could get to space on earth. It was magical, unreal.

But that was one aspect of this area. There was another aspect, the uglier one. The other side of the coin. Oxygen in the air was very less, almost 30% of the amount that is available at sea level. It was difficult to breathe here. Headaches, cerebral eczema, hallucinations, were all common in this area.

By the time we set up our tents, it was 4p.m. Our climb to the summit was supposed to begin at 11, and we were supposed to rest till then. But I am sure no one was getting any rest today. After all, this is the day we were all waiting for. All my years of perseverance, my patience, and the past two and a half months in which I almost gave up, will finally pay off.

We were all sitting together, talking. We knew that this was maybe the last time when we were all together. Because everyone knows that the climb ahead is very difficult and not everyone would make it, not everyone would survive. Everyone was sharing their stories, what this climb meant to them. Then came my turn.

"I was 5 years old, my mother was very keen on climbing Everest. She was very fit and active. But she never got a chance to do it. My father was very supportive of her and finally she got a chance to chase her dream. But she couldn't make it. Right here, in the death zone, she passed away. Then my father decided that he will fulfill my mother's dream.

He prepared for 5 years. Swimming, trekking, cycling, he did everything to make himself fit. Then when I turned 10, my father left. He did finish the climb, yes, but he died when he was descending. Since then, I decided that whatever it takes, I am going to do it. Not just for my mother, but also for my father.

I have been trying since three years. First two years I didn't make the group, and last year I had to return from the Base Camp due to my failing health. But this time I made up my mind that it is now or never. I cannot give up now. So here I am," I said, feeling a hint of tears.

Everyone consoled me and tried to encourage me, telling me how my parents must be feeling so proud of me. I took out my parents picture, which I always kept in my pocket, and looked at it. I didn't know whether I would get a chance to see it again or not.

It was time now. We all took our equipments and started the climb. Sherpa Lita came to me and hugged me, wished me luck and went. It was tough, and each and every pore in my body wanted to give up. But the only thing that kept me going was my parents happy faces, that kept flashing in front of my face every now and then.

It gets steeper and steeper, icy. The adrenaline keeps you going. Around me, an avalanche hit, taking 5 people with it. I saw 2 people slipping. But I am going to keep going. I can see a faint light in the distance. We are close. And just like that, 10 hours in, we had reached. It was the most beautiful feeling in the world. Out of 500, we are around 400 left. Many passed away, many had given up. But here I was. I wanted to scream at the top of my voice-

"I made it". Finally.

We were back to the Base Camp. Sherpa Lita came to me, and I could tell from his expressions that he was extremely proud of me. There were tears in his eyes, and as well as mine. This feeling of accomplishment cannot be measured.

If you make up your mind, you can do anything. Success is not final, failure is not fatal; but it is the courage to continue that counts.