Door

Door wide open, waiting for a person to come back

Days passed waiting for him. The  him I met in the month of January 2003. He went missing since of the same day but year 2020

I know that year 2020 was just stressful for all, but for me, it’s a bit different. Sad yet happy, calm yet noise running in my mind.

For making my parents proud, I stressed him. For satisfying my friends, I used him. For pacifying society, I yelled at him.

For the thirst of Grades, I forced him. For standards of living, I made him fake. For the dream of others, I killed his one.

For answering every quest of others, I left his. For loving others, I hated him. For others, I harmed him not realizing he is the one who must be with me. I never realised that I was killing him slowly yet deeply. The fact that I killed him completely,

So that I can live peacefully, traumatises me every second. The people for whom, I’ve done everything left me alone in the dark. 

I just can’t change my past, I still regret that day . The day I used him for the first time, I wish I spent my time with him, 

I wish I loved him, I wish I responded to him, I wish I respected him, I just wish past would come back again. 

I wished the door who let him in and let him out open again . It did happen, the door did open but the person is no more.

The Him  I killed is me, I killed myself. I killed myself for the sake of others who left me in the dark….I left the doors open.

The doors are still open for that very Him, even if takes a long time,I want Him in my life