Dead

I feel dead within lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, this seems so unusual to see myself like this who was once a happy person and now feeling nothing but a dead person within me. I just don't find my place I call home anymore the place where I was the happiest. I used to find my place in between your arms, in between your tender kisses and soft whispers of 'it will be alright', in between the warmth of your embrace, and the fierceness of your touch, I find my place lost inside your soul. I feel miserable, my eyes dry, and bleeding all over. I feel alone fighting with myself every single day for just hoping tomorrow is going to be better. I just lost connection with the people I love and just lied on the bed idol like a stone that needs someone to curve and bring out a beautiful idol by standing with me along my journey. But all I have is no one that I could share my feelings with and no shoulder to cry out. Tears have been held back deep inside my eyes and my mouth has been dry for weeks. I feel defeated and lost in a world where I feel useless and worse things about myself. I stood up a looked at myself in the mirror after months, all I could see was how defeated I was and how no one really cared for me and the person I was. I never felt this miserable and dreadful, I just couldn't forget those fake promises the people who ones promised me they would be there for me no matter what but when I most need them they left me in this black hole all by myself. I don't feel the worth of existence as no one really cared, the people I feel dear are also fed up of me and stopped caring about me completely. I just feel that I don't exist in this world, no one really knew I was there and the little girl in me tried hard every single day to cheer me up and it gave up on me too and died within. The more I think the more worthless it becomes and it makes me feel like to end my life and say goodbye to people in this world who just care about them and talk to people when they are bored. When I look back at my life I see a happy person who was killed by people for there benefits long ago then I realized.