Covid-196 mins 122 6 mins 122
My name is Roy Sir. My full name is Arundhati Roy. You have noticed that I am a famous medical doctor in India now. This is 2050 now. I will tell you my life story from 2021 when my father died and all the catastrophic in my life started. I was doing my A level/equivalent. We lived in Delhi that time. My father was only source of income in our family. He used to work as an office clerk with the salary RS10k.Our life went well. We are 3 siblings. I am the eldest, my younger sister was school going student and my youngest brother was just 5 years old. My mother died in 2020 with Covid-19 when I passed O level with the highest mark in my school. My father did not get married after that. I used to cook and take care my family at home. It was still all right for me to continue my education.
We had no family in this City. I had some friends in my school and that’s all I knew. One day my father came to home with fever and could not move when he went to bed. Two days went by and he was having other symptoms of Covid-19. He was having breathing difficulty since he had heart diseases. I called to Office of my father and office replied in phone saying he did not need to come to office till he is cured. I had no option to ask for assistance and the office staff cut the phone off. Not sure where to ask for help. We did not get the salary of that month yet. We had little money left at our home. I called to my boyfriend with whom I used to talk sometimes. He came immediately at my home and wanted my father to bring government hospital. My father was having extreme breathing difficulty. I could not control my emotions. I, along with my sister and brother was crying and not sure what to do. My boyfriend took initiative and managed a microbus to bring us to hospital. I and my boyfriend went with my father in hospital. When we reached at hospital gate, we saw so many patients are outside the hospital and hospital was full of patients who need oxygen too.
My father, it seemed, no breathing in and out. I hold him with two hands and try to call him out and shake his body. But how long can I see him alive I had no idea. I was completely lost not knowing how to handle the situation and I was crying and shouting asking for help. My boyfriend went at home since he got call from his family and he had to leave me urgently though he did not want to go back and he asked me to wait till he returns. I was alone with my father at the gate of hospital. I had no money left to bring my father back to home with microbus. Unfortunately, my father died there. I cried with her body for an hour and I saw nobody is coming and all are going far away from us. I felt that day I lost everyone and everything in this universe. I remembered my sister and brother starved at home. I left that dead body and went back my home.
Sir, I want to give a brief summery how we came to this position today since you are very busy man and we have no time for long story. From that day, I was involved with prostitution. Initially for my expenses I used to go to my boyfriend whom I love most in my life and till now I do miss him. He was a Muslim born family but atheist. Whenever I went to him, he gave me money whatever in his pocket. He would not care about his father scolding and his personal cost. He smoked a lot after my father died, but not sure why. Each time I went for assistance, he never returned me back.
One day I cooked food for him with rice and especial chicken. He was so happy and while he was having food, I asked him whether he wants to have sex with me or not since he helped me a lot? He said, “I would have slept with you if I did not help you. For sex I have lots of girls but I feel mysterious chemical reaction somewhere in my brain not sure why and how. That’s why I let you go free for beautiful and bright future”. Survive and be dependent on yourself.
I got chance into medical in that year. I did prostitution and he knew it, but the money, I got from prostitution, was not sufficient for me to bear the cost of my two siblings and studying medical. I was depressed in that time thinking my dream would not be successful and I shared that with my boyfriend. The next day he came to me and asked to open a bank account and I did it and I give him the details of my bank account.
He said you shift to your medical college and I am going to manage your family cost and your medical expenses. I cried a lot that day by holding him tightly and he just touched his hand on my head. I still feel his adore on my hair. I left the Delhi and came to my collage the next day with my siblings. I had new room there nearby my collage. I checked the bank account and the amount of money he sent me was enough for me for next 10 years.
I did not hear any news from him after I received money from him. He even did not let me thank for once. I got news after few days when I was busy with my classes that he committed suicide and there was no evidence why he committed suicide. I wished I also could commit suicide with him but I had siblings and the reason my boyfriend gave me the money I need to full fill the dream by being a doctor.
I was not sure why I was dreaming for being doctor. That is shit profession other than money. I was thinking sometimes do I study for my country or do I study for humanity? All I find is nothing but absurdity
Sir, but believe me I am still confused why should I serve humanity and country when these are mere emotions. The reason my boyfriend died perhaps from the existential pain that he felt from love, but in reality, that is just chemical reactions in modern psychology. Today I am in this position. I have husband, I have children, my sister and brother are well known doctor and engineer, but I still feel like I find no intrinsic meaning of life. Love and God are dead in this 21st century. The more days are going the more we are being materialistic and competitive and we have no time to think about our emotions, ethics, values. We can no longer stare at sky. We are too busy to think about these metaphysical issues since these have become absurd now.
Sir, I think you have meeting soon. We talk another day and wish you would let you know about your life.