Comparisons Are Odious

After distributing the test notebooks, the teacher counselled all the students, where to improve and how to do it. Her speech concluded with, "Look at Rita, she is an all-rounder, good at everything, try to become like her." Some of us clenched our fists and concealed our annoyance. Perhaps most had this reaction in mind, "Mam, you haven't seen the other side of her, she is a big snob, selfish and self-centered."

              After lunch, the same day I was lying on the bed, when I overheard my mother tell her friends in the next room, that I took after my aunt, her younger sister, and that my brother resembled my uncle, who was a reputed doctor and looked handsome too. As I grew into a teenager, I was contrasted with the ones who were beautiful, good in studies, able athletes, etc. No one recognized my potential of being good at extra-curricular activities. I hated all this, but couldn't revolt because all the people who poured these comments on me were elder to me. 

               It was only after I got married, that this nightmare stopped haunting me. My husband never compared me with anyone. In turn, I too was determined to keep my son away from what I detested and to allow him to bloom into what he is. As a teacher, I practiced this with my students, instilling confidence in them that each one is an original piece and cannot be compared to another. This gave them tremendous happiness and a morale boost to unleash their inner potential.

                Most of us do not like to be compared to another. We believe we are unique. Some of us do not mind when we are compared to people who are attractive or have been successful. Many of us get angry or dejected when we are compared to losers. Whatever be the case, comparisons are odious. One doctor being compared to another, a teacher being compared to another teacher, are not uncommon. Comparisons between siblings, one woman's style of cooking compared with another, even the work of housemaids, the list is endless. The Creator has made each one of us different, right from our faces, our complexion, our character traits, our strengths and our weaknesses too. So, what need is there to compare one with another? 

                  We often go to the extent of comparing our lifestyles with others. "My neighbor has a car so whether I need it or not I would like to buy one." "My sister has bought a gold ornament, I too am going to buy one." We often hear women say, " My friend is enjoying her life, sitting at home, whereas, I have to slog at my workplace to make both ends meet and help my husband financially." Who knows the friend must be having health problems or other domestic constraints and though full of potential must have been a forced home-maker. We never get into other people's shoes or analyze what they are going through. We often jump to conclusions, and brood that we are less fortunate than others and thus deprive ourselves of happiness instead of enjoying what we have. 

                    "My colleague has gone on a foreign tour with his family, very soon I too will follow suit. " We forget that the environment to which each of us belongs to and the circumstances in which we dwell differ from individual to individual. We revel in aping one and another, as a result, we lose our own identity. Let us remember, the same man cannot be skilled in everything, each has his won identity. Most of us do violence to our natural aptitude and thus attain superiority in nothing. Success is not what we achieve compared to others. It is what we achieve compared to what we are capable of.

                    Let us imprint these words of Mahatria, in our hearts ---  "It seems we are in one race...

          But each one's direction and finishing line is uniquely different. We are created for unique destinations -- materialistically and spiritually. Life responds to you differently, to carry you like no one else has been carried."