Childhood Secret

Childhood

Is one thing that is remembered by all.. but what if the childhood memories turns into nightmare?

Subhiksha was one such 59-year-old woman, with thick grey mane and golden rimmed spectacles. 

She was a smart and elegant woman with graceful attitude. She was soft spoken and a loving person. She loved her grand children a lot and they adored her with respect, love and admiration.

It was a warm evening, sun had started its journey towards west giving way to the cool moon to empower the sky. She was sitting on her verandah swing, deep in her own thoughts.

The time has lapsed so much. So many decades have passed yet her childhood memories haunt her and scare her as deadly beast.

She was around five or six, she does not remember since when such dreadful turn of events happened in her life. She was orphaned due to some fatal road accident. She was the survivor and was given shelter by her grandparents. 

Her paternal family was big with two Uncles and Two Aunts and seven children along with two dogs. She was given love, food and shelter. She was trying to cope with the new family trying to hide her real emotions and always looking up to the family's priority. 

It was a warm afternoon when he, her cousin who was around twelve year older, came to her and said, "Come, let's go to the terrace I will teach you a new game." 

She was happy, finally everybody had accepted her as part of the family and taking care of her, she agreed readily. Only, then, she did not knew it was going to be the worst reality of her lifetime.

Happily they went to the terrace and there he started playing with her body. She did not liked the touch, she said "let's play the game, Brother" But he did not stop and kept on exploring her body inch by inch. She felt nauseated and she even vomitted. For this she got a tight hard slap and was asked to stay still.

Helplessly she kept still she did not knew this adult game. She tried to cry and was slapped again. After sexually abusing her completely he rolled over satisfied. She was in deep pain. He consoled her "Look, this is the first time you played this game that is why you had not liked it. It will be a great game from now on. And I dare you do not disclose it to anybody as this is a secret game between us. If you ever utter a word to anyone then I will ask my dad to stop sending you to school."

She was afraid of him. She was very young to understand whats and why's of things happening to her. She recoiled inside herself. She stopped smiling and talking. No one bothered much. Everybody thought she needs time to overcome her loss.

Her days and nights turned scarier day by day. He used to come to her to play the dreadful game as and when he liked. Everything was happening under the nose of a big family. Nobody came to know.

One day she found a colourful stick which she loved a lot. She used to talk to it as if it was a real thing. He saw the stick and tried to snatch it away. Something overpowered her she hit him with the stick with all the force. It was such a strong harsh blow that it ripped his skin and made a deep cut.

She was punished by all and was forced to ask for his forgiveness . Only he turned monstorus. 

That was then, she survived somehow. Completed her studies, got married and had a small sweet family for herself. 

Yet, her past had haunted her every single day. Then one day she decided to forgive the monster, not because he deserved to be forgiven but because she needed to be at peace within herself.

Yet, after forgiving she could not delete the haunting memories from her dreams. Maybe she will learn to lock them deeper inside, one fine day.

One fine day she will free herself

Dark corners will melt

Light will shine

Illuminating her soul

One fine day her soul

Will learn a hard lesson

Of Forgiveness for real

To shine bright as a star.

******