Catharsis

Prologue: At the end of the movie, Pooja marries Raj and they remain good friends with Tina and Rohan. For the uninitiated, the full story is available on Wikipedia. In this fanfiction, Raj has married Tina and Pooja married Rohan on the same day. Pooja writes this letter to Raj after a year.

Dear Raj,

It has been one year since you tied the Sacred Thread around Tina’s neck. One year since you saw me walk the Saat Phere with Rohan. You looked like a caged animal that day, about to tear out of your cage and pounce on everybody in sight. Only the promise you made to me, kept you bound. “Why ?, Why ?” your tortured eyes had questioned me. “How could I ?” I replied.

My love affair with you had started when I was only 5. It developed and matured when I sent you all those letters in Tina’s name. You loved the author of those letters, but you only identified with Tina’s beauty when you came to India from London, after 15 years. My heart shattered when I saw you both in love, but I kept quiet, as Tina was a sister of my heart and you were still a stranger in person.

The only time I spent in your arms was when I made that visit to London and you saw through me to the person who had written the letters. You proclaimed your undying love and said that you had only ever loved the author of those letters and Tina would have to understand. Those blissful days in your company have been scored on my heart.

We came back to India, hand in hand, brimming with love and excitement, to find to our horror that Tina had been left an orphan with the untimely death of her father. When she threw herself into your arms that day, I saw all my dreams crumble into dust. It was all over for us, I decided. You begged me to reconsider. But how could I ? Tina was not like my sister, she was my sister. She had been there for me through scratched knees and teacher’s taunts. I was her rock when she went through numerous crushes and broken hearts. How could I desert her now, when she needed me the most? How could I claim her love, as her harsh sobs against your chest tore at my heart? It was not possible, Raj. It was not.

The preparations for your wedding got underway. You begged and pleaded, but I stood firm. I cried copious amounts of tears, but my pride may be misplaced, kept me strong. You said you would marry Tina on the day I married Rohan, and I agreed. You wished and prayed for a miracle, but I knew there was none to be found. We got married, you to Tina, me to Rohan, and our families celebrated.

But after that day, everything changed. Being someone else’s wife brought home to me the fact that I had only ever considered belonging to you. I asked Rohan to move to California, to be away from you, but I seemed to have left my heart behind in London with you. I have cheated Rohan too, any intimacy between us was only a joining of bodies, with the hearts as far away as two could be. 

I was jarred out of my stasis a week back, when Tina called me, her words tumbling in excitement over each other, as she told me that she was pregnant and you were over the moon. You had moved on. You had moved on and I was here like a lump of clay. Joyless, lifeless, and faded. I looked back to the little and big things Rohan had done for me this past year and I was ashamed. I had to take responsibility for all my actions and be the wife Rohan deserved.

Today, on the eve of our wedding anniversary, I write you this letter, Raj. To say I am sorry. Sorry for all the unilateral decisions I took, sorry for never answering your heartfelt pleas, sorry for… Just sorry. I am glad you have moved on. I am happy for both of you and wish you every joy with the new addition that you are expecting. From tonight, Rohan will see a different me. I will be his. Mind, body, and soul.

Fear not, this letter will never see the light of day as it will soon be consigned to the fireplace. My letters have already caused enough disruptions. It was a kind of catharsis for me to write this and a fit ending I would say. Our love story began with a letter and it will end with one. Goodbye Raj. For the final time, I will be signing off as your Pooja. From now on, I will always and forever be Pooja Rohan Verma.