"Bhabona Kahare Bole"

Breathing in the slushy air at the crest of a sole mountain, choosing to spend time doing things by yourself or maybe watching the raindrops running down your window pane, are the only ones I firmly look forward to. I don't really place myself as someone very misanthropic or introspective in nature, it’s just that I grew up with a strong dislike for profusion. Overwhelming streets apparently create a convincing illusion for me, as if one thumbs you alike boiled peas in a pod. 

“ Amar chokhe to shokoli shobhon, 

Shokoli nobeen shokoli bimol,

 Shuneel akash, shyamol kanon

 Bishad jochhona kushume komol

Shokoli amar moto.”

 The blue in the depths beyond and afar, the slanting shafts of the twilight sun appears to embar. The soothing breeze engrossed in the melody of the orchestra, in the prophecy, in the hymns of the Veda. A sense of camaraderie and affinity springing from the horizon, a promise of life and existence in the obscurity. 

You’ll discover me standing erect in front of the Howrah Bridge at present. The construction stood with such a grandeur that it was no less than a magical wonder to me. Little did I realise that the world has so much to offer. Thus I say, enjoy every moment you have, even the most minute and microscopic ones. For one day you may look back and realise that they were the best. 

A beautiful boat ride in the Hooghly river, amidst the most beautiful City Of Joy, with beautifully embodied flora and fauna, is something worth expressing. The sight was exceptionally charming when the bridge was lit up. You literally get goosebumps once the boat makes it slowly down to the river and the platform advances at your doorstep; closer and closer until you are actually sailing under it. Everywhere you look around, love is in the air. ( A perfect fairy-tale evening on the water.) If I am not off beam, it is ‘Princep Ghat’ that I was recently brought up to. Well, well, a day spent by the Princep Ghat in Kolkata, why not?

Not bragging but this lady has always been a keen observer. Every site she stops by, she perceives one thing in common….she finds several thousand commoners just walking across the vicinity and hardly one who makes an effort discovering its vision. True, “Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.”

Eyes were a shimmer with ecstasy over a hospitable smile, polished and clean shaven beard, did not tower over the rest, a bit on the shorter side perhaps. Maybe in his early thirties, roughly around 30-33. While the rest are concerned clicking pictures, who is “he” strolling along these Ghats as if breathlessly awaiting, in search of his beloved? Sounds pretty interesting. Conversing with such an individual won’t let me down I guess.

“ Tara keboli hashe, keboli gaye 

Hashiya kheliya morite chai

Na jane bedon, na jane rodon,

Na jane shadher jatona joto”.

A thousand million stars both shattered and living, the moon in her skewbald vision waxing and waning. She steals her honour even in the paradise, appearing anew in the sky upon a transparent and starry night. Their eyelids gradually twitching, draping a blanket over their mind, waiting for consciousness to fade.

We spoke and spoke for hours together. I simply fail to recall in case we had encountered each other in the former years but I did sense something in common while communicating. Yes, next as you people presume, we did exchange our cell phone numbers and since then, he was the only friend who spoke well of me behind my back.

I was eventually sprawling around my couch, contemplating what to do next as I had lately finished off reading the entire ‘Hobbit’ series in the past few hours when I was forsooth proffered for a late evening walk.……..

After so many days of sharing bits and pieces of my life with you, today I am entirely letting you into my world. Just don't disappoint me for I counted upon you.

“ Amar moton shukhi ke achhe 

Aye sokhi aaye amar kachche

Sukhi hridoyer shukher gaan

Shuniya toder jurabe pran.”

Each day she dazzled, the world dazzled back and rendered each moment so rich, so buoyant that I still keep cherishing the memories of when I was an infant. From a very fine age, I had to learn to keep myself safe and none were there to spoon-feed either for both my parents were employed, working. I wish they had taught me more. I wish they had taught me more about perception, love, compassion, I wish they had taught me to be a better human being. Despite my mother’s indiscretions and misconducts, she wants me to be more sensitive to her and believe me, I did strive to do my best but somewhere I fall short, perhaps am unable to accept her for who she is or maybe it’s my self incompatibility.

This very morning she enquired,” You may choose to be an engineer or a software developer, why become a correspondent?” I do understand, in every parental relationship, there still remains few inevitable clashes where your preferences depart from what your parents had once chosen for you. However, the same gets hazardous when you are literally forced to derail your dreams.

Briefed him the whole shooting match, almost everything I was going through previously. In response to my criticism, he wrapped his arms over mine, quoting, “No matter what you go through and no matter how much you argue, take my words, she’ll always be there for you”. I honestly don’t remember my Mom’s first kiss, but am sure it must have felt the same he planted on my forehead today. 

“ Protidin jodi kadibi kebol

Akdin noi hashibi Tora

Akdin noi bishad bhuliyan

Shokole miliya gahibo mora.”

I was noiseless, you left me alone. I was dead, you left me alone. I was dejected and depressed, you left me alone. I was waiting for you to come, you left me alone. (Although you did promise not to.) On a short note, it has been an amazing journey being with you all these months. Thankyou for wiping away my tears, thankyou for being right there to save me, thanks for the adventure…..Now go, have a new one. Best Wishes!

“Shey ki keboli chokhero jol?

Shey ki keboli dukhero shaash?

Loke tobe kore ki shukheri tore

Emon dukhero aash

Phool shey harshite hashite jhore

Jochona Hashiya milaye Jaye

Hashite hashite alok shagore 

Akashero Tara teyage kaye.”

My misconducts today have left me alone,

But now I guess, it’s pretty too late,

For this subconscious mind, will forever hate.

I still think of how you wanted each of us always to be,

After all, pleasure was the only stuff you tried bringing it for me.

It’s pretty obvious that I can’t have you anymore,

If possible, kindly hold my hands back (for once, at least once) as you did before. 

Reprimand me for my immorality but let’s just start all over again. From the day we met, to the night we left.

Just a break in time, to carry on what we left behind

Ignite the flame and let it glow,

True love to really show.

 “Tomra je bolo dibasho rojoni 

 Bhalobasha, bhalobasha,

Shokhi bhalobasha kare koi?

Shey ki keboli jatonamoi?"