Ajay's Story Part 3 Childhood

**Please read the first 2 chapters before reading this**

I laid on my bed continuing to take in everything that happened. Because of the incident with Shalini and Asha, I was thinking about all the childhood moments I had where I was embarrassed or humiliated about my size. Preeti knowingly humiliating me in gym class when I was 12 and Ms.Anand showing me Care but unknowingly doing the same thing. But these moments continued through my childhood.

At school, it was a daily. Kids pushing me in the hallway, grabbing me in a headlock, taking my things, and holding them out of reach. But the unknowing ones really dug deep, especially from women is when it really stings. Laying there on the bed, another memory shot through my mind.

It was 1 week before my 13th birthday. I was still only 4ft tall and weighed around 30 KG. My parents at this point knew something wasn't right about my growth. My dad's answer was to get me outside and play more sports, hoping I could jump my way to a new height. My mom would give me milk and Boost every day saying that's what helps you grow. Unfortunately, no amount of milk or Boost seemed to help and I was so bad at sports that I hated playing it. I just locked myself in my room and read books and studied.

One day we got word that my mom's sister's daughter Seema was coming to our area for a week. She had some business in our area and needed a place to stay. My mom said, of course, she can and invited her to stay. She would arrive in 2 days and my mom began cleaning the house and getting a room ready for her. I didn't remember Seema very much, she's 10 years older than me. My parents moved here when I was 6 so I haven't seen any of my relatives for over 6 years. 

We went shopping the next day to get stuff before Seema arrived. My parents bought a bunch of stuff and we decided to go eat out. My parents don't know English very well so when we eat out like this, I do the talking to the waiters. Of course, nowadays, I get very shy talking to new people, probably because of my size problem. We stood waiting for a table and a waitress came to take us there and take our order. She was a cute-looking girl, maybe 19 or 20 years old, long black hair tied back in a bun, wearing the restaurant uniform. She had on a black shirt with the restaurant logo and black tights with a pair of black running shoes. 

"Hi there, my name is Ashley, I'll be your server today. Come with me, and I'll take you to your table" she said cheerfully and led the way. She led us to a high table with bar stools. My parents both took their seats. I too was trying to take my seat but was having trouble, the table was quite high and so was the stool. For my parents, it was no problem, but I was struggling to get my leg over to sit down. The waitress who saw this, walked over to me, "Oh let me give you a hand there sweetie" and with that, she grabbed me under the armpits and hoisted me up and onto the stool. "There you go!" She exclaimed. My parents noticed this and I could see a hint of embarrassment in their eyes. I was already embarrassed that an almost 13-year-old boy's hand was to be lifted into his seat.

"Now, what can I get you guys," she said with her notepad out. My parents already told me what they wanted to be ordered. I cleared my throat, still getting my mind straight from the ordeal. I delivered my parent's order, I could hear my voice cracking as I was saying it, probably because of my shyness, my embarrassment, and the fact that she was really pretty. "Good job sport" Ashley exclaimed, "And now what can I get you cutie? Do you like anything off the kid's menu there?" I wondered how old she thought I was? "Um no, I'll just get the chicken pasta," I said, in my still soft, pre-puberty voice. "Alright! That's a big meal, are you sure you can finish it all?" she asked with a smile, confirming that she was just joking. I nodded and she smiled at me and said "Atta boy" and gave my hair a quick ruffle before walking back to the kitchen. My parents were not impressed with her treatment towards me, they got the same impression I did, that she thought I was a little child but they've grown used to it by now. I get this treatment everywhere. 

The waitress brought our meals out and left us to eat. While eating, my dad got a call from one of the stores he placed an order from today saying there was an issue with the order and that he needed to come back right away. It was in the same mall we were eating in, so my parents told me they would be right back and that I should finish eating. They left to go deal with their issue and I continued eating by myself. 

The waitress, Ashley walked back to check up on us and saw that I was the only one left. "Oh, where did your mommy and daddy go?" I told her they just stepped out and will be back soon. " Oh okay," she said and then leaned over the table closer to me, "Well if you need anything, just give me a holler, okay sport?" I nodded okay, and she smiled and gave my cheek a quick pinch. I continued eating but this treatment was getting overwhelming. I started thinking about my parent's mindset about this and wasn't paying attention. I accidentally hit the plate with my forearm and flipped the remaining pasta all over me. I had pasta and pasta sauce all on my shirt and shorts. I looked like a 2-year-old just learning how to eat.

The noise brought Ashley out who saw the scene. My embarrassment was now even higher. "Oh no sweetie, what happened" Ashley cooed concerned. I was really overwhelmed at this point. The whole restaurant was watching and I just humiliated myself in front of this very cute girl. "I...I...I..." I stammered with my voice cracking and now tears forming in my eyes. "Oh baby, it's okay, don't worry. I'll get this mess cleaned up right now OK?" She said putting a reassuring hand on my arm. "Now why don't we get you cleaned up before your parents get here, what do you think?" She asked in a sweet tone. One that you would use to talk to little children. Again I just nodded. "OK, come here little guy," she said and just lifted me out of the chair by the armpits and placed me in her hip. She held me on her hip with one hand under my butt. She walked me to the bathroom and sat me down on the sink counter. She grabbed some napkins and stood in front of me cleaning me off. "You got really messy didn't you sport" she cooed. "Look at all this pasta sauce you got on you. That's supposed to go in your belly, not on your belly silly" she said with a giggle. She was trying to make me laugh but I just sat there with my head down. She was basically finished up cleaning me. "There you go, all done and clean. Now, this belly is all tidy" she said with her fingers on my belly. At this point she started running her fingers on my belly, tickling me to laugh. I burst out laughing. "There you go, there's the smile I wanted to see," she said continuing to tickle me. I couldn't stop laughing, thrashing myself on the sink counter while being tickled. 

With that, she stopped and scooped me back up into her arms. I was straddling her front and she had both her hands cupped under my butt. "Don't be embarrassed little guy, everyone makes mistakes. It's hard eating in a public place. You just be calm and remember to eat like a big boy, okay sport?" I nodded yes. "Good boy, now let's get you back to your table before your mommy and daddy come back." And with that, she began walking me out of the bathroom and towards our table with me still carried in her arms. As we rounded the corner, I saw that my parents had already come back and were looking around for me. I panicked at this point, not wanting them to see me being carried like this. But before I could ask Ashley to put me down, my dad saw us. I could see his face abruptly change. He nudged my mom and her facial expression also changed. Ashley brought me to the table. "Oh welcome back!" She said while still holding me straddled to her front, I didn't know what to do at this point, so I just hung my head on her shoulder and looked the other way, too embarrassed to look at my parents. "This little guy had a small accident with his food. So I just took him to the bathroom to get him cleaned up. He's all tidy now!" Then she gave me a little shake and said smiling "Okay sweetie, I'm going to leave you in good hands now" and placed me back on the stool. We paid our bill and drove back in silence. I was too embarrassed to say anything and so were my parents. 

We got home and I went and hid in my room. My parents finished prepping for Seema to come. The next day, my dad went to go get Seema from the train station. He came back in a couple hours with Seema. I was in the bathroom when they arrived. "Ajay, come out, your cousin Seema is here" my dad said in Tamil. My parents don't speak much English. "I'm coming" I responded. I was actually a little nervous for this. The size thing had really started affecting my mental state at this point and just normal conversations were difficult for me without feeling shy and nervous, but with a new person, it's double the anxiety. 

I took a deep breath and stepped outside and saw Seema sitting on the couch drinking tea, chatting with my parents. When she saw me come out of my room, she stood up and I got the full effect of her presence. She was probably close to 6ft tall. I barely came up to her waist. She was even towering over my parents. She had her brown curly hair hanging loose. She was wearing blue jeans with a black tshirt and a denim jacket. She wasn't a skinny girl but she looked lean, like she regularly worked out. 

"Ajay kutty, how are you? Come here" Seema said with her arms out drawing me in for a hug. I walked towards her and hugged her, I literally only came up to her waist. When I hugged her, my arms were wrapped below her butt. She also embraced me with her hand on the back of my head holding me to her waist. When she let go of her embrace, she got down on one knee to be eye level with me. She cupped my cheek with one her hands. "Wow Ajay, you look just like how I remember you when we last saw each other. How old are you now kutty" Kutty is a pet name people use in the Tamil language to refer to small kids. "I'm turning 13 in a few days" I said which made her shocked. "13!!! Oh my, Ajay, I thought you were like 7 years old" she exclaimed. My mom chimed in "He hasn't hit his growth spurt yet" 

"Aunty, you need to feed him more so he can grow big and strong." Seema said now with a hand on my shoulder. "He's still just a little kutty papa" she said smiling while holding me close to her with the hand on my shoulder. "Come kutty, come sit, I have some gifts for you" With that, I sat beside Seema and she gave me some gifts she bought me. We sat and talked, basically my parents and Seema talked and I sat beside her quiet and listening. "Whats wrong kutty, you don't have anything to say" Seema asked. "He's just very shy" my dad responded, "Gets nervous when he talks to new people" Seema looked at me and cutely scrunched my face with one of her hands, "Well we'll just have to change that won't we kutty" My mom then told Seema to go shower and get comfortable. Seema got up and went and I went back to my room.

"Ajay, come it's lunch time," my mom yelled out. I got out of my room and walked to the kitchen. Seema was already sitting there, her hair was wrapped in a towel wet from her shower. She had just a plain red t shift on with some great sweat pants and white socks. "Come kutty, come sit beside me" Seema said when she saw me. I sat down next to her and she turned around to face me. She then rotated the chair that I was sitting in so that I was looking at her. She did it quite easily. "What are you doing in your room instead of out here talking with us?" She asked. " Um, nothing, just reading my book" I replied shyly. "Oh you like to read, I like reading too." We talked a little bit about books while my mom got our plates ready. Seema was really easy to talk to and I could feel myself opening up a bit more. I wasn't as shy around her. She was also going out of her way to make me feel comfortable.

We ate and then sat on the couch and watched TV. My parents went out for something. Me and Seema talked while watching and I was really enjoying talking with her, she was alot of fun and treated me nice. I asked her if she wanted to play video games in my room and she said of course. I walked her into my room and she went and sat on my bed. She undid the towel and let her wet curly hair out. I started the game and sat infront of the TV to play. "Ajay, don't sit that close to the TV, It's bad for your eyes. Come back here and sit with me. I walked back but with the sun shining through the window, there was a glare on the TV from the bed. The one spot that was OK was where Seema was sitting. "It's OK, you're sitting in the one spot with no glare, I'll sit on the floor here" I said. "Nonsense, come here, we'll figure it out" she said. I walked back towards the bed, when she reached out to me. " Here, come here" she said as she grabbed my arm and turned me around so my back was towards her. She then put her hands under my armpits and slightly lifted me off the ground and placed me right on her lap. I was sitting on my cousin Seema's lap with my back against her chest. "There, how,s your view now?" Seema asked. "It's good" I responded a little embarrassed. But we started the game and I forgot I was still sitting on her lap. We got very into it. At times I noticed she would bounce her legs, which would bounce me on her lap but I was too into the game to give it much thought. Finally the game ended, I won of course. " Ahhh I almost beat you" Seema said laughing. "Maybe next time" I responded smiling. 

"Well maybe next time I'll beat you for real" she said, wrapping her arms around me tight while I was still in the same position on her lap. With her hands around me, she began poking at my sides with her free fingers, which started making me howl with laughter. Seema saw this and started tickling me more. I was howling with laughter and just squirming in every direction but she had such a strong grip on me, I couldn't move off her lap. 

"Ouuu someone's really ticklish" she said while she continued tickling me. "Is Ajay kutty ticklish" she playfully asked to which I just responded with more laughter. I then felt myself being shifted. Seema reached down and grabbed my legs and swung them up so now I was sideways in her lap facing her. She quickly laid me flat on her lap and pulled my shirt up to reveal my belly. She held my shirt up with one hand and held my body tight on her lap with the other and then brought her head close to my tummy and started blowing raspberries on it.This was worse than the fingers, I started howling in laughter and squirming uncontrollably. She had a firm grip on me though. Eventually, eventually after like 10 raspberries, she stopped. I just lay there, too exhausted to move. Seema just looked down at me with a slight smile. 

She then pulled me tight to her body with me still cradled on her lap. My head was now resting against her shoulder, she wrapped her arm around my back and HD my arm tight to my body. Her other hand was over top of my legs and resting on my butt. She had me tightly cradled on her lap like you would cradle a baby. 

"Oh Ajay, you're such a cutie pie" she said while pinching my cheek with her fingers. "You haven't changed one bit from the little 7 year old boy I remember." I just laid there listening to her, realizing that all those nerves and shyness I thought I lost with her, were slowly coming back. She was treating me just like all the others, in fact she was treating me more so like a baby. "I just wanted to hold you so bad from the moment I saw you today, you are such a small little kutty Chellam, I just cant" she cooed. I slowly worked up the courage and in a breaking voice I said " Seema akka, I'm almost 13 years old, I'm not a small baby anymore, I'm...I'm a big boy" This made her smile, "Oh really? Then why am I holding you in my lap like a small baby. Please my big strong boy, get off my lap whenever you want" she said smirking. At this point, I tried to push myself free, but I literally didn't even move. I realized then how strong Seema was, the two hands she was holding me on her lap with were so strong, I didn't even move an inch when I tried to break free. I stopped trying as I was just embarrassing myself more. "What happened baby, couldn't do it?" She mocked playfully. I just hung my head down. "Oh poor baby" she cooed, hugging me tighter and closer to her body. "Ajay kutty, don't be embarrassed, just enjoy it. I'm your Akka(Big sister) who else should hold you like this. You're my little baby brother and I just want to squeeze and cuddle you my Chella kutty" she said this time bending down and giving me a small kiss on the cheek. 

She then started rocking me slowly on her lap, patting my butt and humming a soothing hum. I just lay there completely overpowered and defeated. I couldn't get out if I tried. She then stopped humming, "OK Ajay I have to get some work started, I'll leave you alone for now" she said with a wink. She squeezed me cheek again and rolled me off her lap onto the bed. She left the room and I laid there thinking, Oh not again, just when I thought I could get comfortable around someone, they treat me the same way. My parents came home and for the rest of the night, it was pretty normal. Seema was busy getting started on her work and I hid in my room. 

The next morning I woke up and walked into the bathroom and Seema was already in there brushing her teeth. "Good morning Ajay Kutty" she said. She extended her hand and pulled me in for a tight side hug. I slowly felt my feet lift off the ground as she lifted me up a few inches with her hug for a few seconds. Seema finished up and left the bathroom. I did my business and came out for breakfast. Seema was already dressed and getting ready to go out. She was telling my parents that she had work to do at the office and that she won't be back for 2 days. Seema was dressed very professional, with a nice blouse and skirt and a throw over top of her blouse. She had on nice black heels which made her even taller than before. "Ajay come say bye to Seema Akka, she's going to the office for a couple of days" my mom said. I walked over and said bye to her. "Bye kutty I'll see you in a couple of days" she said and bent down to give me a hug. I hugged her around the neck. Suddenly, I felt my feet leave the ground. Seema lifted me right off the ground in her hug, she was standing straight up, holding me tight to her body, with my arms wrapped around her neck. She held me there for what seemed like an eternity but was really like 5 seconds and then put me down. I looked over at my parents and saw that same look I've seen countless times before. A small fake smile hiding their real feelings of disappointment. With that, Seema left and I didn't have to deal with these issues for a few days. 

The 2 days went buy and It was my 13th birthday. My parents got a cake, I got dressed up in a nice shirt and pants. Just then Seema came through the door from the office. She saw the cake and the decorations and knew right away that it was my 13th birthday. "HAPPY Birthday Ajay!!!!" She exclaimed. "Let me go wash up and I'll be right out to give you a BIG HUG" I knew what a big hug meant but I also didn't think she would do what she did in my room infront of my parents. Seema came out 30 minutes later looking fantastic. She had her curly hair down again but styled with hairspray or something as it looked very vibrant. She put makeup on so she looked very bright. She had a beautiful maroon salwar on. My mom was astonished: "Seema, you look so beautiful. That salwar is so pretty." "Thanks so much aunty!!" 

Seema then walked towards me with her arms outstretched. She crouched down and gave me a big hug, squeezing me to her body. "Happy Birthday Kutty" she whispered in my ear and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. I blushed so hard and said "Thank you Akka."

Next I cut the cake while they sang happy birthday. My parents came up to feed me and take a picture while Seema used the camera. Then my mom told Seema to come up and feed me. Seema passed the camera to my dad and walked up beside me. I thought she was reaching down to feed me cake buy instead she grabbed me under the armpits and picked me up and held me. I wasn't on her hip but she held me on her side with my legs straddling her body but at an angle. She held me with her hands under my butt. I couldn't believe she picked me up infront of my parents. She hoisted me up once to get me into a more comfortable position. "There we go" she said smiling. She then held me with one hand while she got a piece of cake with the other and fed me while holding me. She brought the cake close to my mouth and I leaned forward with my mouth open buy then she pulled it back playfully like you would with a little baby. Then she fed me the cake and left a little frosting on the tip of my nose. We then posed for a picture with me still in her arms. My parents had the usual reaction to this, the fake smile and laugh. Once we took the picture, Seema said we should take one together. My dad brought the camera and she took it from him to take a selfie. She had long hands so she could easily do it. But she was still holding me with her other hand. My parents stood around us and I felt incredibly embarrassed, with my parents next to me and me being held in the arms of Seema. "Say Cheese" Seema said while she took the shot with her free hand. She gave the camera to my dad but instead of putting me down like I thought she would, she readjusted me so that now I was straddling her front, she pushed my head into her neck and held me by the butt with her other hand, and just held me there tight. "Oh my big boy Ajay is a teenager now!!! But is still small enough to carry" she said laughing.

My parents were just standing there watching, not knowing how to react to their 13 year old being held like this. "Yes, he's still our little boy" said my mom with a smile on her face. "Aunty, here you hold him, he's still your little baby even if he is 13 years old. He's luckily still just a little one" Seema said patting my head which I still had snuggled in her neck. "Here aunty, take him" Seema said while she walked us towards my mom. I looked over and saw Seema walking us towards my mom who looked a little confused as to what she should do. Seema stopped infront of my mom and leaned me towards her. Being carried by other people was one thing but being carried like a baby by my own mom was too much for me to take. I clung my hands around Seema's neck, not wanting to be passed off to my mom. "Awwwhhh he doesn't want me to let him go" Seema said laughing. My mom joined in this time, amused at me clinging onto Seema. "Ajay kutty, come to mama baby. Come to mama's arms" my mom cooed with her hands reaching out to me. This was getting really overwhelming for me, my mom has never shown this side towards me before. 

"Cmon chellam, go to your mommy. Your mommy just wants to hold you" Seema said warmly and slowly pried my hands off her neck. With my hands off Seema's neck, I felt another two hands reaching at my armpits and I was suddenly pulled off Seema and into my mom's arms. My mom had grabbed me from Seema and was now holding me. I was cradled in my mom's arms with my head resting in the nook of her arm and her right arm around my legs with her hand holding me up. She was looking down at me with so much love, like I was a newborn baby. "Awwhhh aunty, you guys look so soon cute. Here let me take a picture" Seema grabbed her phone and started taking shots of my mom holding me. My mom was really into it, smiling at the camera, giving me a big kiss for a photo, all while holding me. "Amma, cmon put me down" I begged to her. "What, you let Seema akka hold you but not your mama" my mom asked. "No matter how big you get, you will always be my baby Ajay. Good thing you didn't get too big" my mom joked and her and Seema burst out laughing. My dad just shook his head and walked away. My mom then walked us to the couch and sat down with me still cradled on her lap. She held me tight to her, rocking me in her lap. "Acha pilla Ajay(Good boy)" my mom said pinching my cheek. "Seema come sit" my mom said. Seema sat down and they continued talking. They talked for half an hour, all the while my mom continued rocking me like a baby. I just laid there not sure what to do. My own mother was now treating me like a little baby. I just felt so demoralized. 

Suddenly, my mom stopped rocking me. "OK kids, I'm off to bed, it's getting late. You two get to bed soon too. Seema, please make sure this little one doesn't stay up too late." "Will do aunty!" Seema said. With that, my mom gave me one more pat on the butt and let me off her lap. I rolled onto the seat beside her. My mom got up and went into her bedroom.

Seema also got up and said she was going to go change and be back in 10 mins. I also went to go change, but my mom just threw my clothes in the laundry. The only clothes I had left to wear were these really short shorts I had from when I was younger and a white tank top. I put them on and went back outside. Seema was just coming into the hall way. She also switched into something more comfortable. She removed her makeup and tied her hair up i to a high bun. She had a white tanktop on with a pair of red shorts. She was wearing white Nike gym socks that she had pulled up to about mid calf height.

She sat on the couch with her legs crossed and pulled me to the seat beside her. "Well kutty, did you have a good birthday today?" She asked me. I nodded yes while staring into my lap with my head down. I was feeling incredibly nervous, not knowing what to do or say. "Why you so quiet" Seema said giving me a playful shove. Unfortunately that playful shove toppled me over. Seema reached over to help me sit back up, laughing. "Ajay, what are you wearing!!" Seema shrieked laughing. "Your shorts are so short. Now you really do look like a little boy." "It's the only clothes I had left" I said slightly stammering on my words. "Oh Ajay, come here baby" Seema said while grabbing my body in a cradle and lifting me right up into her lap. She was sitting cross legged on the couch, so I fell right in to her lap. "Why are you so shy around me kutty, I'm your Akka. Just be open with me. This is my last night here, so let's just have fun and talk openly" she said. She was holding me tight in her lap, slowly stroking my hair as she talked. "Is that okay my little Ajay kutty?" I nodded yes in her lap. "Good boy Ajay kutty" she exclaimed playfully while ruffling my hair. She then told me stories about her hometown, her work, her family all while I laid in her lap. She would play with my hair and stroke my hands and chest while she told me the stories.

We talked for over an hour until my eyes started feeling heavy. Seema saw this, "Kutty, are you getting a sleepy baby?" I was too tired to say or feel anything about the babying, I just nodded my head. "Well let's get little Ajay to bed then" She then picked me up by the armpits and held me to her body, with her hands under my butt. She walked me to my room but didn't put me down onto my bed right away. She walked me back and forth in my room, slowly bouncing me in her arms and humming. My eyes were getting heavier and heavier. All I remember after that was being placed on my bed. 

I woke up the next day and went into the hallway. My mom and dad were sitting down watching TV. They said Seema had left back home early in the morning. She said to tell him she said bye. I didn't get a chance to say bye to her. It was definitely interesting meeting her. Her bubbly and friendly personality was something very different from what he's seen. No one had ever been that friendly to him for a while. But even if it was friendly, she still made him feel small and little. She even got my mom involved in the shenanigans. But as much as she did, I missed her. I missed how much she cared for me and how friendly she was with me. Although it was embarrassing being held and carried like this small kid, I enjoyed the intimacy of it. I didn't know if I'd ever experience that again, but I missed it. Maybe I'll paths will cross again.