A Psycho's Delusion

The ruthless waters were taking her away from me; she was inches away from the mouth of the waterfall when I caught hold of her wrist. I pulled and she was out of danger...almost. Another pull would've brought her to the shore. Now it appeared, a figure cloaked in black. It hit its staff on the earth, a flash and I was struck by lightning...I lost my grip.

I closed my fist again and found two of her fingers. He continued to hit me with the lightning but I held her, through the pain I held her, refusing to let go of those two fingers. My grip started to loosen, I knew I couldn't hold on any longer, “it’s okay" she smiled, a tear trickled down her cheek. She slid away into the chasm, the ring she was wearing came off; I dove after her.

I was falling down several hundred feet! Time slowed down. The thought of life without her seemed unbearable. Probably that's why I had jumped, to die-- with her. Ekaterina...I closed my eyes as I remembered her name, seconds away from hitting the waters.

The thud was painful as I fell down the side of my bed, I woke up. A bullet came hopping over and started licking my face. I've had my breakfast, usually, a filled stomach means a peaceful mind but I was still thinking about the dream. Why do such dreams keep coming back to me? Why is it that in the end I am always defeated by that same cloaked figure? All of it was a dream but it was somehow vaguely frustrating, depressing even.

I lost someone every night (even if they existed only in my head) and when I woke up, it felt like a piece of me had died. I wanted to cry it out, whatever it was that was choking me from the inside. I could not though; it was like a hook. Every time I tried to pull it out, it threatened to rip my heart apart. Since Lazer died three years ago, it felt like I won't love again. But now these nightmares were starting to fill me with a need, a gnawing need to sacrifice myself, to be totally consumed into my love for someone...something. I suddenly needed some fresh air.

It was past midnight. I set out on foot to the river, it was lined on both sides by rows of trees and shrubs. It was secluded from the hum of the population. The moonlight was shining on the surface of the water. I liked these solitary swims, they renewed past memories when I still had Lazer. I took off all my clothes and allowed myself to float on the surface like a corpse. The waters felt calm and warm.

A shiver...I was touched ever so gently by a hand. I turned around and found a girl in my arms, a beautiful girl. She was pale as the moon. She looked at me with a sympathetic gaze, unflinching yet tender. She seemed to read my misery through my eyes.

I said nothing, she said nothing; I fell in love.

Holding each other, we glided to the shallow part of the river and onto the shore. Her face shone, I kissed her. I undid her clothes and we made love on the soft sand. All of it felt so right--so meant to be. All my hunger was gone, I was satiated and it felt like Lazer never existed, neither did the void she left behind. I felt so full, and light like a feather. I took her back in the water. It was now that it happened.

The black-cloaked figure was there - as always, but this time it was not a dream. It struck its staff on the ground and I passed out. When I regained consciousness it was still dark. The black cloak was still there, but I had lost my beloved. I rushed at the cloak and tore it apart...

I was face to face with Lazer. I froze and saw her slowly fade into thin air.

I got home, trembling. I didn't sleep.

In the morning, my neighbors were talking about a girl who was drowned in the river last night.

"How come she was naked?" said one.

"She was raped."

"What? They say she drowned in front of them. She got lost in the waters."

"Then someone must've raped the corpse."

THE END