A Friend, A Blessing

Pavai was feeling very sad on a certain day, it was 9 Nov 2015, she was feeling despair, hopeless, lose every meaning from life, she became tired of things, she felt fooled, stupid, and dumped.

1 year before:-

Pavai was excited 3 days before teacher's day, but the irony is that she forgot about it on the day she was excited for! 

She got ready for her school, as she reached school she suddenly gets surprised by seeing the decorations, balloons, the entry gate was decorated with balloons of different colours in a combination of blue and white and beautiful rangoli, it felt like a festival is going on, she was thinking that what is today? Why school is decorated? And with that confusion she walk to her class and then she found that the class gate is also decorated with balloons beautiful, she realized how creative students are, some students who basically are events organizers came 2-3 hrs early than actual timing, and then all of a sudden she got the idea that what's so special today! This is teachers' day. It's how the students were excited for that day, it's felt so awesome that day.

Then she enters the class and sit on the last corner of the third bench and enjoyed all things happening around, seeing students decorating the wall with balloons and colorful papers, decorating white board with colorful markers, ' teacher's main dialogues' was written over there, by seeing the beautiful hand writing of that girl, she felt even she is also a girl but her handwriting is not good. So all the things were going well, but Pavai had a problem she used to laugh a lot whenever she felt uncomfortable and shy. So to this awkward and uncomfortable moment ( because she felt inferior and anxious with the outside world, she was an introvert, not had any good experience in socializing with others), she laughs at every moment, many times she tries to control by pitching herself but nothing works at all. So till now for her classmates, it's become normal, so it's going cool and crazy. Then the bell rang everything was well-prepared kudos! to students' hard work. 

Pavai doesn't know that it's going to become a memorable day for her life. So it's was her maths class, maths teacher came and students began to make noises, also student take sir on their hands, like that when after winning a soccer match other players took the best player in their hands, same as that.

Everything is going fine, here the thing goes, sir came and students began to perform, some sings songs of Arijit Singh, some played musical instruments and also we played games, there was this boy who is overreacting a lot, on the other row of the bench and trying to be the limelight of the show, her classmates was saying to Pavai "see how is he overreacting" and Pavai feel that too,but having no problem though,cause it's none of her business, she basically don't care till that time, then after whole enjoyment only 15 mins was left and then sir cut the cake, and but as sir had to went to other class for lectures he already told to not apply cake on him, but still that overreacting boy did that, sir got really angry with that, but because it was a teacher's day he didn't want to spoil it by being angry and he was filled with emotions to see students love for them, therefore he calmed himself taught class some valuable lessons and at last end the class with a beautiful line which means "you will not going to remain forever here after this years you all will be gone but still you will never going to leave from my heart" that was really an emotional line. 

After this it's a break and students again begun to decorate the class, everyone is doing their work but this overreacting personality was standing in front of the board walking back and forth trying to do something to stand out from others, by walking, showing being busy with the phone, by sitting on a chair. But Pavai felt something towards him, she was staring at him, even if she don't care but still she wants to see him again and again, she felt attractive, she trying to see him without being concerned, she was got attracted to him, his attitude, his style and his face ( which I think played a major role in that), now don't know but why this overreacting boy was seeing Pavai? Now here can be two sides either he also got attracted to Pavai before or he just cached Pavai staring him, it's still a mystery.

But according to Pavai past experience, she felt he was the one who is trying to impress Pavai, like 2 months back it was her Physics teacher happy birthday and students were making preparation for the birthday celebration of the teacher, so when the chemistry class finished, she was taking notes from the white board, a person she was seeing infront of her seat, as she felt inferior for her poor writing without completing notes she put the notebook in her bag, she showed above so there was this overreacting boy who was looking at her time to time ( don't know what's the reason? Still a mystery) at that time Pavai also felt liking him but after this, she forgets about him, also another incident it was when Pavai watched this boy (varun) many times staring at her ( again don't want know reason, still a mystery), is this who was overthinking? 

But on teacher's day, Pavai fell in love with this person, for no reason at all ( is it attraction?) As she was walking in lunch break in the plaza, Varun was passing by her side and when Pavai looked at him, he gave her a look with a style, she ignored him, and was amazed at what she saw,filled with mix feelings.

Now, when school is over it's time to leave but she felt to be there forever and look at him over and over. Now time is over she left. Another day she came to school in hope of seeing Varun again, but that day he didn't come, she missed him a lot, and then she realized she actually fallen in love with him. (Love at more than 100 sights). 

Now for her he became his world, she every day goes to school in hope of seeing him, but at the same time, she also wants to be serious with her studies because, for her, her career is really important, she also began to stalk him on Facebook, don't know what happens to her but she wants to help him without being asked for it, all tv movies nice qualities lend in her. She felt insecure about her, she felt she was not perfect and she needs to be look good and need to change even though she was good looking.

Like this stalking and staring 1 year went away, by seeing him looking at her, she felt that he also liked him. But in her over thinking mind she convert like to love, she felt special when he looks at her.

Now school ends. It's all over, but she doesn't forget her love, she wants to talk to him, within this 1 yr of span she never talked to him but she was a beautiful girl from inside, she respects every person she meets. This was her quality. And even they had never talked still she believed the fact that if she loves him he also loves her.

The school was over but she didn't forget him and believed that one day they will meet and have a happily ever after like in movies, she used to imagine him, sometimes her future with him, she get into a habit of daydreaming, she lost in her thoughts and forget the present, it's becoming a vicious cycle, she slept whole day while dreaming herself with him. She prayed for him and his wellness, she asked god for him before herself. In this way she was keen to surrendered her, even she became so obsessed with him, she stalked his whole family. He was basically from Gujarat and came Delhi for studies and when she came to knew about it she fell in love with his place too. Actually she had already was fond of dwarika as she listened about it a lot, also she was a devotee of Krishna therefore she wanted to visit Gujrat but now she had another reason to fall for this place. 

On 10 July 2016 she with a lot of courage she sent friend request to him while thinking that as in mostly case boy sent message to their love but still she was ready break this stereotype too only for him. She was thinking also that it was just fun for him, if he had also loved me back then he should be the one who sent me a request. She wants to connect with him and to know him. She even had never thought of any other guy than him.

On 27 July 2016 , at,last after waiting for many days she gets this notification Varun accepted your friend request. She was extremely happy and nervous at the same time. Is she did right? Should she talk to him? What if her parents would get to know about it? She should focus on her career. Also, Varun needs to focus on his career too, I could become a distraction to his studies also he too for me. So on 1 Aug Varun message her "hi", she ignored it for sometime but then she didn't stop herself she messaged back "hello". Now she didn't uploaded her profile pic, because she had this fear to get her pic misused by online people told by her mom to her. Now he asked back if she know him? And then she get stuck with this thought that even if he didn't know her then why he accepted that request? And above of it why does he firstly message her? She said no I don't, he said then why she sent him request, she asked the same then why you accepted the request? He replied mutual friends and then she replied me too sent friend request because of mutual connections.

Now as she overthinks a lot she found that it's not right to talk to him, she unfriends him and felt bad but she had no choice, he messaged and she replied they talk and then she said she unfriend him, he replied that "he doesn't need any Facebook tag to be her friend", she felt special, she found this thing that he also has same feelings, but she cannot digest this idea and self-doubting herself, comparing her outer looks with other girls, in my class Neha was the beautiful girl why didn't he fall for her, why he falls for her? Then after talking 3-4 days he told her that he had a gf. She felt miserable and shattered. She felt broken, in jealousy and anger with misconception in her mind , she judged him and got angry on him and said a good bye.. She learned to never believe in anyone so easily, with the inferiority complex she realized that she didn't love him she loves the image of him in his mind, but as she had already given so much of her that she didn't ready to accept it, even if she became ready but still her heart wasn't ready for sure. She felt miserable. To calm herself she began to make new memories and online friend, even she had no friends from her childhood so it was her wish to have one, also she wanted to share this trauma with someone who can she trust on that day she felt lonely and miserable. She was broken into pieces. One more time she gets hurt.

She joined many groups on Fb and began to talk to strangers, to reduce her pain and have a friend to share her all parts. But she finds no one. Now she had no expectations even to have friends. 

So on 9 Nov 2016, she was scrolling FB, still missing Varun and felt detached, she felt miserable, she was seeking help, then in one group she wrote why people left you, why bad happen to good people? 

Suddenly someone replied back to her question and they have a small talk.

Then again that person replied on the message that he had never talked to any girl in this life, she was the first. Pavai was unaware of where it's going to end.

They began to talk to each other, now Pavai is a person who loves to make people around her happy and she was like an open Book, a heart of a child, without any expectation she just talked to Kartik, and now they used to share every little thing with one another, with time they become best friends. Pavai was really a talkative girl and Kartik listens to her patiently. Now on 15 Nov Diwali came they wished for each other, Kartik told Pavai that he loves sweets and Pavai was opposite she loves crunchy and full of spices. Pavai talked to Kartik with a fake id, and when they become good friends she told the truth because she didn't like to cheat good people as she herself experience that which doesn't want to let others go through. 

But another day Pavai brother saw Kartik's message on her phone and get angry to see boys message on her and abuse Kartik so he didn't reply again. Blocked him. When Pavai got to know she felt ashamed of her and cried, she didn't want to make anyone feel bad because of her, she thinks that Kartik was a nice person he deserves respect and now she was filled with guilt. She unblocked him but never messaged again. And one fine day Kartik messaged her and liked her post. She at first doesn't want because of guilt that his brother abuses his best friend. She felt miserable. Now Kartik was so kind and sweet person that he was ready to clear things and listen to her. Therefore he messaged her, she replied 'tell him the whole story' and apologize to him again and again. He with a kind heart forgive her also didn't take things on ego, he was really a pure soul. But still, Pavai was ashamed of his brother's behavior she can't even scold her brother for that because she didn't want to let her parents know about her online best friend because she belongs to an Indian conservative family where you can't talk to boys or if you do then they will put finger on your character and took you all freedom.

She knew this very well. Therefore she didn't want to talk again to Kartik. But Kartik's nice behavior and beautiful friendship bond she shared with him she didn't want to let go of. 

So it was 6 Dec 2016, Kartik proposed Pavai , because he really loves him, Kartik and Pavai have an emotional bond which binds them. But it was difficult for Pavai to accept because she had already loved Varun and she only thinks of Kartik as a best friend, instead of reacting to it, she calm herself and after time replied no to him as well as tell him about her broken love story. But still, Kartik loves her and let her be free. Because Kartik told her that for him love means freedom. He free Pavai to take her choices. And he had no problem with it. And cherry on the top is that Kartik is also a focused person, he care for his career too. As Pavai told him before her definition of love is to grow together and help each other taking out best from each other. He supported her idea by applying it for her. He never left any chance to make Pavai feel special, he respected her and her decision. Pavai felt little awkward but one thing she learnt from past to accept everyone as they are and also to define your limits. She did it well. Kartik understands and respects this. He is the one who unconditionally accepted her. Now with Kartik she didn't feel the need to change and become perfect, she felt she is perfect, she learnt to accept herself in the process. She grows both outsides as well as inside. This is what real love is which makes you glow differently. 

But Pavai having the fear of parents left Kartik 1000 times, still, Kartik is the one who is always ready to make efforts for her . And always make her feel special, always being ready to help her. 

Every time with overthink Pavai ok I m sorry but I am going and he is okay, always being loyal to her, committed.

Becoming her companion and mentor, help her to overcome challenges, beside her to listen to her and make her laugh, always there to let her know if you ever need help call me I will be there for you.

And helping her in her self-development, appreciating her, creating all the differences.

Fear to lose her but still free her to do whatever she wants. Treat her like a queen but also tease her like a friend, making fun of her cooking, guiding her all the way.

Pavai feels blessed to have him in her life. She thanks Varun for not choosing her as she slowly began to like and then love Kartik for not his looks but for his beautiful heart and pure soul. 

But on 2 sep 2017 Pavai and Kartik had a fight and Pavai made a promise to never ever talk back to him . But still felt bad for that decision but she had to. The fight was that every time Pavai left him. And Pavai had her own reasons but at last, Kartik said sorry and let her. free to do whatever she wants.

It's been 1 year 5 Nov 2017 Deepawali came but now the talk ends but friendship and love didn't end. They love each other. Kartik was missing from Pavai. They use to see each other's story on FB consistently in a hope of helping each other and growing, sometimes you don't need any word that what friendship is...

Friendship is the root of every other relationship......