A Battle In The World Of One's Own

A fantasy in the genre of the stream of consciousness and metaphysical fiction.

“When you experience a story, you make it alive dear”, exclaimed her di. “But, di why would I want to do it knowing each story takes a toll on me and I don’t want to create more bruises on myself not even for my love for it”, she exasperated on her. “You can’t escape your own destiny, you can’t escape your own act in the play”, asserted her di.

She woke up with a thrust, “Not again”, she exclaimed. It was 12 o’clock and darkness prevailed all over her sight from the window. She finally felt alive realizing it didn’t exist in reality especially when she saw her di sleeping openmouthed, wildly tugging her pillow, absolutely unaware of the havoc she created in her dream world.

She rushed to her loo, all lights switched off, sat on the toilet pot and took a deep breath. She was in her meditative zone. She knew they were here, she could feel their presence. There was a particular fragrance in the air, something pleasant, light, peacefully beautiful and comforting. She knew they always rushed in when she felt lonely, terrified and absolutely heavy.

“When will you guys learn to respect my privacy?” she thought realizing that these astral beings or spirits could read her mind and communicated through thoughts and emotions. The astral beings thrive on vibrations. “The day you realize we look beyond your body,” felt one of them. She sighed. She was now well aware of the purpose of their arrival, she knew it was her turn to finish her karma, to balance her account, she had to enter the spirit world through her head, in the astral body, the body of thoughts and emotions.

Spirit world has simple laws, ‘What you are is what you get’, ‘Like energy attracts like energy’. The lady found herself in her favourite baggy pyjamas and her loose comfy graphic tee, the one in which she literally slept every day despite how stinky it got after each day and had her wireless headphones without which she can’t even imagine a single day, the one which acts as her GPS in this world of consciousness and vibrations or the spirit world and her age-old sack, the one which is meant to collect memories of completion of tasks, tasks assigned to teach her a lesson, a lesson that will evolve her consciousness.

Each consciousness is meant to go through various experiences to evolve itself, the experiences shape themselves in the form of circumstances, grief, pain and even through dreams but few like Aaira were blessed with psychic abilities to sense astral beings and step into the spirit world whenever they want to but only with the approval of their guardian angel and master. Each soul is assigned with a guardian angel, meant to protect and guide them during their earthly journey.

The spirit world believes one is one’s own hero and one’s own villain, it’s a matter of perspective and the higher you rise above your own qualities, the better you understand the true laws of the divine. The divinity that refers to the consciousness in one and all. This was the purpose of Aaira’s mission this time, to understand herself and this world better and lighten up her karmic baggage, the baggage she took for, well let that be a secret for now.

By all her journeys to the spirit world, Aaira was well aware that her psyche, mindset, love, compassion, emotions, thoughts and her powers, the lighter and broader they are the more powerful she is.

Her space was filled with books of all sorts, of all colours and sizes, few nicely arranged in a pile, few stacked up well and few flying all over the space creating an absolute mess. She could never imagine ever that these peaceful little friends could be such havoc but she knew deep within that uneasiness of books reflected her guilt, the guilt of neglecting her younger brother Dave, days before he passed away while swinging onto the rope tied on to the old branch of the tree, the rope that was meant to take him across the little stream but ended up taking him away from his family forever and along with him the scrapbook, he had compiled for his sister of Harry Potter. This notorious, clingy, five-year-old sweetheart of hers had made a scrapbook from newspaper cutouts of her favourite book series but stuck in the chores, she didn’t even cast a glance to it. Dave wasn’t used to such behaviour, she had always pampered him most in the family, more than her Di had done to her and he deserved it, he was an absolute chubby little darling madly in love with his two elder sisters and their parents were never gender-biased, their house was filled with love and care but probably fate hit her that day and she shut her little brother which withdrew him to the nearby woods. Being countryside residents, woods weren’t that far away and that one swing ensured he never came back. The family was forced to move away from that place to the city to get Aaira back to her senses which she did but probably certain things stay with you forever, they may be in the background but they are there to come back at the right time.

Aaira realized this time she was meant to be with her little Dave but it would take a huge toll on her. Distressed she went round the piles, thousands of piles of piles, it was impossible to find anything or anybody out of it but giving up didn’t even exist as an option. She can’t lose on him again. After twenty-seven years, probably she can meet her little Dave at least in the spirit world.

She tried all her powers, arranging the books alphabetically, making the books speak for themselves through the powers of her mind but her distressed heart created a pile of yelling, screeching and groaning books. The ‘forever silent friend’, were showing their other side to her.

Distressed and filled with a feeling of worthlessness, she sat down and held her knees tightly, her eyes brimmed with tears. Her own darkness transformed the entire space into a graveyard and each book transformed into a coffin and few pages littered here and there, transformed into ghosts.

“Oh god! This was all that was needed,” she felt and suddenly her prayers transformed the entire space, filled with bright light with nothing but her. She could only see her astral body, an image of her physical body, made up of vibrations.

She heard the noise of rolling wheels, the wheels of Dave’s favourite toy car, she knew he was there but why on Earth she couldn’t see him, she felt like the wreckest being on Earth, she felt she deserved this separation, all her psychic powers were of no use, years of channelling, years of being a philanthrope were of no use and of no value in front of what she did to her little Dave, who trusted and believed in her most. She felt she deserved it and if hell ever did exist then this was it. The experience and wisdom of years of channelling and experiences with astral beings were of no value in front of her intense desire to be with her Dave.

And woalla! She saw a young man, her repent transformed into a young man and his eyes revealed his identity. She hugged him tightly, never to leave him.

“Aaira, your tight grasp hurts!” he said with the most peaceful smile in the world and she barked on him, “How dare you leave me? I will never forgive you. Never! Never! Don’t you ever dare to think that your innocent and mischievous smile will work its magic on me as always. Never!” and she bursted into tears. Finally, she realized her pain. Finally, she felt the poison out of her.

With a smile filled with acceptance and calmness he explained, “Aaira it was our fate,” and she exasperated, “Yeah, blame the four-lettered word, right?” and he replied, “Yes Aaira, nobody can escape it, just think about it, have you ever in your entire childhood bothered about reading and writing. You didn’t even care a jot about it yet eventually, you turned into a writer. How? It’s fate Aaira. I had a purpose to make you realize the purpose of your life. My death‘s grief and guilt has got you this far.”

Aaira had enough of philosophy, she rebuked, “But I don’t make money out of it. My work pays my bills, not my writings. Through my writings, I just make people come out of their grief. I share my knowledge through fiction. The knowledge I got through introspection, the introspection that your death caused”. “Yes that’s my point, I was there to make you realize your path, your inclinations, your role in the society and I have done that well”, he winked. “Shut up, you blasted pumpkin!” she said and hit him hard on his chest and questioned him how did he grow this big as she remembered a little boy. “Aaira, growth is not limited to Earthly plane only and for a matter of fact death can’t do true love apart,” he sighed seeing his sister light-hearted.

“Whatever, just promise me whenever I want you, you would appear to me, just promise me” she asserted him. “Do I even have a choice? Of course, I would it’s just that I was under the strict guidance of your guardian angel to not contact you till your mid-30s, till you are absolutely on your true path and your psychic powers are fully developed. Everything has its own right time Aaira and I love you. Could I ever leave you when you need me and I was always there, it’s just that your powers were in a form to not recognize my presence but now you are free,” he said.

“I want to die, I want to be with you,” she pleaded. “You can’t now, bye,” she said.

And she woke up with a thrust on her toilet pot. She had got over her grief and guilt. It felt like an age-old cross lifted over her. She fulfilled this mission, she finally had felt Dave around her and then she felt her guardian angel around her.

Age-old religious texts speak about the warmth one feels in the presence of one’s guardian angel but in her case it was different, he gave her the vibes of an indulgent grandparent and a highly disciplined boarding school headmaster but whatever it was she couldn’t deny his importance in her life and the love and respect they had for each other.

“So how do you feel?” he thought. “Sleepy, and no more midnight sessions from now on, please arrange these sessions early morning, you guys have no professionalism and have been ruining my sleep for weeks and next time if you guys wake me up with a nightmare of my sister realizing my powers and that her little sister hangs out with spirits then trust me I will make you ghostly beings realize what it is to be with a ghost. That lady can’t even see a rat in the house forget about taking the fact that her sister has regular visits from the spirit world and realizing from where her stories come from, trust me I will make you sleep deprived beings realize what is a nightmare. Did that point get into your airy heads or you guys need to witness my temper?”

“No, we have witnessed it enough and we will ensure your Dave is safe and free to meet you.” He replied with a smile, nothing other than the girl’s innocent temper can make him smile to the ends.

With this remark, she went out of her loo, snugged into her blanket, cushioned her elder sister and went off to sleep. This little girl deserved her beauty sleep after the midnight toil.