Zombie Paralysis

There is this new virus

Unnamed as "Zombie Paralysis"

Injected in mind

Out of nowhere

Worsened due to outbreak

Only within me.

Creates demons in making

Out of thoughts, vagabond in nature

Leaves me in insomnia of confidence

While I am dead awake.

My hands, feel as wriggling worms

Already mocking me

As I take this pen

To infest and destruct

My own created thoughts

And let me be my own culprit.

The brush stood at distant

Waiting for me to come to talk

Through it again

Our forgotten memories

But how would I say?

Dear, I did not forget you.

Afraid how my words turned out

Confidence loosened

As I lost more weight

My thoughts invisible, to everyone

Making me heavy.

Dear, I do not want the colour

To lose its shine

Due to my own rust

And so, I must stay away

My mind says I do not say.

I hope you understand

Maybe, I would die of this outbreak.

My yesterday blames me, for

I slept through it.

Trying to silence my demons

My today laughs at me

I would take the whole day.

To procrastinate and talk to tomorrow about it.

The cycle continues in endless spirals

Dotting to nowhere

From which somewhere it began

The disease, hatred, weakness, called "Zombie Paralysis".

I try to put my thoughts in the timetable

Make them understand that I am the mother

They ought to listen to me.

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But somehow, they rebel, as they are new

To the old confident me.

The original me.

Lost in the woods

I am left in guilt

As I could not control my children

And somehow they brought me shame

Being rebellious

Shunned me in the eyes of society

Dressed in invisibility

Once, who was the apple of the eye of many.

Unknowingly, none to anybody.

My mind, my mind makes me believe.

I count from one to ten

Eye wrapped in an invisible cloth

Trying to play hide and seek

On what is in my notes.

I try to seek the exact.

But my thoughts lead me to believe

You cannot do it

So accept your failure since you cannot understand me.

How would you understand this?

I see my brilliance and trust in my confidence

Cheated by my own thoughts

I want us to be together again

Put your trust on me

Confidence says, "Sorry, dear! I cannot suffer from this outbreak."

Let me save myself

I know I am the betrayed lover

But God helps one who helps themselves.

So help yourself.

Demons reside within me

I have to carry with me

If the church comes to know

They will fetch me and serve to exorcism

But, I do not have the power to fight my thoughts

Let it be unchained

Because they are my children and I cannot kill them

That is a sin greater than sin

To kill the innocence

"Zombie Paralysis" lead to this.

My mind, makes me believe.