WISH

Does it still haunt you? Do you wake up at odd times with an ache in your heart, with the guilt eating you up? Does your heart race when you hear my name or you see a picture of me?

I wish I knew.

Do you feel guilty for deserting me? Does your stomach ache when you hear a laugh similar to mine? Does it feel like reliving a horror movie where it always ends badly?

I wish I knew.

Do you avoid the places we visited together? Do you turn the radio off when you hear my favourite song? Do you avoid wearing a shirt just because I liked it’s shade? 

I wish I knew.

I wish I could be you for a moment and see how it feels! I wish I conclusively knew that all you had was love and only love for me. I wish I could see it through your perspective and understand that you did not have a choice because I’m tired of justifying your actions.

But like most things in this world, it’s foolish to ask for a complete closure because sometimes some relationships simply don’t have one. They are best left as open ends, may be best unknown because what if you don’t feel anything at all!? 

What if I never cross your mind? If you don’t remember my favourite song or my laugh or my favourite shade of colour? If none of this matters to you! Oh God, I’d rather wish and never know.