Stay, Stay. Please Stay

People promise me that they won't leave. 

And say that it's completely fine for me to drown in my own despair, disappear into the darkness.

They say they understand that there will be times when I won't say things out loud and it's okay to do so.

And I doubt them for I've been labelled one too many times.

I've given away all the love I couldn't give myself.

And my heart breaks into a million pieces when they abandon me.

And I understand why they chose to do so.

But darling, do you know what's worse?

When it's a friend and not a lover who leaves you.

And in those moments, I begin to understand why my demons think I'm better off alone.

And as I take the sorrows of those who've stayed and give them all the love I have left,

I wonder will they leave me someday too.

When those whom I've shared my soul with leave

Tell me I'm too much,

Or at times not enough,

I die a million deaths in a moment.

And maybe that's what I do to people I love.

Push them away. 

Or beg too loudly for them to stay.

Stay.

Stay.

Please stay.