Oakwood

"You splintered my dreams

and punctured my wings.

Congratulations, you have killed my inner peace.

And ripped it apart, piece by piece."

I wish you had said to me

You were lying out on the pavement

Hoping someone hears you scream

You wrote poems as eulogies

To the chunks of you I killed

The mirror that I held up to you

The untarnished daughter I wanted to see

But it reflects back our imagined shameful flaws

Or our made up bigger than life glories

The cruelty, the tragedy is.. 

Neither are true

"No one saw me crying

No one saw the bruises I had from falling and trying

All they cared about how wobbly my feet were

How I wasn't a normal teenager

I'm not a painting you're allowed to smudge

I'm a blank canvas, holding up this grudge

I was getting impatient to paint

So I drew lines across my wrists

Didn't know they were permanent"

I imagine you would say, if you would've stayed

The hall is now vacant

And they remind me of your eyes

When your feet were forming

The best steps

The music interrupted by your cries

You diced your feet on my blades, to please my ic

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e heart

But it was all met with silence

I now understand that silence is deafening, 

I can hear it spill your

Disappointment

Just like the blood spilling out 

from your delicate feet

When you gave it your all, 

Just to hear me say "I am proud of you"

I've always been proud of you

I just wish you knew

When you gave it your all

Just to please my heart

In that empty hall

And when you needed a pat on the back

All I did was step aback

Told you, you were a disappointment, your anger and rage is fake

Told you, your problems were made up, and it was all for attention's sake

Now all I want to do 

Is take those words back

I pulled you closer to feel your heartbeat

All I heard was silence that made me sick

You used to play hide and seek with me

I am sorry, you were never truly found

I am sorry, I never made you feel safe and sound

I am sorry, now you have to hide under the ground

You're away from me, in your new home

I just hope it gives you more assuagement

than I ever could

I'm sorry for your lost childhood

Now you lie beneath Oakwood