An Ode To Your Absence

Missing you comes in waves, 

and tonight, I'm as far from the sea 

As you'd said you'd never be, from me. 

Contrary to popular beliefs, 

I'm not a rope dancer. 

I didn't fall from grace when you cut the string which joined your fingers to my toes 

from your side of the deal. 

I never tried to pull away when you tied us back with your messy sailor's knot, 

I simply stepped away from the noose. 

now, the chink of her wine glass 

In tandem with her perfect laugh 

coalesces with my senses like a jack-knifed truck. 

Contrary to popular beliefs, 

I'm not a train wreck. 

I don't see light at the end of this tunnel 

but I've been finding my way out of dead ends for an eternity and a half, now. 

You'd know. 

I promised myself I'd never write this poem 

but the bluish purple of my skin has tanned into 

A healthy brown but 'healthy' was never a word I could string on my violin along with 'love',

'healthy' never knew where you hid me in the middle of every starry night, 

'Healthy' was never us. 

I promised myself I'd never write this poem 

But I wanted something to remember the lack of lacuna you left in my bones. 

On days when the sun burns down on my 

black-clad body, the halls of my home scream out your name with a sense of loyalty I could only dream of. 

The ghost of my dried up blood, hidden under the carpet you bought for me, resides with the white roses I planted after you left. 

When mum asks me if I pine for you, I pluck her a half-bloomed one. 

Missing you comes in waves 

and you took the moon along with you.

I've dug a hole right in the middle of the sea 

to keep my feet steady

You see, high tides don't scare me anymore.