Mire

I look around as the seconds slow down and the smiles flash by,

My face remains blank, my mind pensive,

All those doleful faces mock me and they push me to lie.

I don't know how much longer I can pretend, what I have to alter inside to survive,

My facade crumbles at times, my true complexion revealed,

The depth of my pain is something in which no can dive.

You. You caused this. Every bad thing ever,

My insecurities, my self-hatred, my misery,

When was the last you cared? The answer is never.

My mind seems to slowly slip from my grasp,

There is a veil between love and hate,

When will you let go of your suffocating clasp? 

Your presence fills me with a familiar sense of dread,

I can't think straight though you force me to,

Whenever I express myself, you say, "Careful how you tread."

Do you have a heart? I ask myself sometimes,

Your malicious thoughts are something unexpected,

I can't see through the world through your blinds.

It's like a bullfight, two opinions clashing, legs dancing, air filled with dust,

The only difference is you get to cheat and bribe the matador,

Have you not a conscience, no love for anyone, no trust?

My glass heart breaks to two over and over again with every threat,

Every hateful gaze pushes the shards deeper through,

Why do you treat me so? To what do I owe you this debt?

My eyes burn before you, yet you are unfazed,

Except for the occasional sympathy and counsel you give me,

You should know, I'm not ignorant; I can sense the venom with which your words are laced.

My unsound mind is filled with mixed sentiments for you,

But one thing is for sure, anger stands out,

You offer not one apology and refuse to be held accountable. What do I do?

You hold no remorse and no memory,

For whatever wrong I've done, I am sorry,

I'll be the bigger person and give you my apology.

In the face of time, I know I'll win,

For now, I'll bear with you as long as I have to,

For there is no Heaven for the pure and no Hell for your sin.