Lonely Yet Blessed

Lonely but thankful;

Lonely yet blessed;

Oh how lonely I’ve been- 

Taught me everything I needed to know

-About you and me, both.

I learnt I have loyalty bones and I learnt respect.

But I was left behind searching for effort and excitement.

Not that I’m looking at you to substitute but for us to find you a place to fit or carve.

I enjoy your selfishness and envy your insecurities. 

I’m built like that, attached to rubble and chasing fireflies. 

I recently met myself in the time I had, and I must say, I quite truly enjoy myself.

I amuse myself and entertain myself. 

In you, I choose to look for keeping me amused with the same intensity, I do.

I’m looking for someone who won’t let me get bored but would remind me that, even if I’m bored, I always have my own back to distract. 

I’m not saying, I’ll never tell you all my irrelevant stories and jokes but, give it time. 

Give it time so I swoon into the scene or trust my guts and pour them out for you to hold.

It’s not something huge for this hype but it’s still few years of my life. 

I’ve also gotten to realise that I need to re-find the lost girl in me who believed in eternity and true love.

The one who believed in her prince in shining armour and the one who was trusted to be a One man girl.

I don’t think much of physically connect, but I look for a man to make one time emotional match- cause to me, that’s real intimacy. 

I’ve never shied away from physical barriers or contact but always from emotional connect. From a picture of the future, a scene from our child’s school meeting. 

That’s what I think of when I see you. 

It’s been a scare to lose someone with whom you gotten attached and yet you have to live on. 

In retrospect, I feel I don’t matter to the other and hold on tighter than needed or let go before time- when I’m only looking to see if I matter, if they’ll hold on, if they’ll cross the puddle for me, if they’ll stay. 

If they’ll even notice. 

I’m looking to learn. 

I’m looking to teach. I’m looking to be taught and I’m looking to school. 

Now, Together let’s pop that cherry of mine, let’s delve into this head-on and overcome anything our way, together. 

Let’s whisper our love and scream our darkest fears. 

Let’s do this man. 

Let’s peep into each other’s souls and introduce ourselves. Let’s handle the others’ insecurities like new born and tick the items off of the bucket lists with red ink. 

Let’s get the party started and pyjamas on. Let’s start kicking and sinking in joy. 

Let’s really start feeling again. 

Let’s first, start living. 

Hi, I’m a dreamer, I’ve been loved, I’ve been lonely, I’ve been broken and I’ve been mended;

I've found and I’ve even lost;

I’ve been in search of you for a while now;

Also, you are?

Oh how lonely I’ve been;

Oh how lonely I’ve been.