Changes - Motion Stayed

I do a million things differently since you left, but I miss you. 

It is not the feeling when I’m around people but when I’m alone when I can hear my thoughts and that’s when the nostalgia really hits me.

I think of you, not always in a sense worth remembering but I do.

I feel played but I also know that the feelings were real. I know I wasn’t far off base but I know you. 

I was played somewhere down the line. I should’ve known more, but I might’ve been too young to know or too inexperienced or naive.

I am thankful for it happened, but it needn’t have. 

Still I am thankful. 

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Now, I’m the change.

I don’t know why, I have tried trust me, to put a finger on it but I have come up empty. Maybe because it was you rather than anyone else or maybe I am just being prudent or just a realist.

I have changed in layers after I left you but I still miss you.

I want you to know what you’ve lost and who I have become now.

I want you to feel the pain in your gut to see me bloom.

I want you to want to get to know me.

I want to know who you’ve become and been. 

When does that stop happening, or should I say, when did it start?

I learnt to be the change for a change.