I Wish I Could Forget You

Why did you leave?

I wondered about you for so long

I longed for you

For a long time.

But you weren’t there

You just weren’t.

I thought to myself

What did I do wrong?

I thought to myself

Where was I lacking?

And you weren’t there to answer

Leaving the question unanswered.

Leaving me feeling lacking.

It’s sad, it’s empty.

The color of the sky is dull again,

The baby blue I loved, somehow Grey again.

What was once excitement and rush of happiness in my veins

Now a dull resentment in the face of the abandonment.

I didn’t think you would leave.

The name of yours on my mind

Pulsing of regret rushing through

I regret meeting you.

I had loved you, I had cared for you

I had opened myself up

Squeezing my heart out

Letting you see the dripping blood,

The aching heart, the ever possessing mind

And the blood that had stretched on for miles

On my body and the tiles.

I had let it paint you, I had let myself be painted by you

Yet now you are gone

And the blood remains.

An aching reminder and the ever growing pain

I still love you.

Like never before, for anyone else before you

I had laid my mind bare, I had laid my eyes bare.

So you could see, what no one else could

And in return, you let me in

You had let me see you

I had believed in you

I still do.

Maybe I still will, no what you would do

It’s a sad truth

But you still hold my heart in you.

Love doesn’t go away when people do.

It just gets tainted with hate and resentment

But, as I curse the gods I say, it doesn’t go away.

What should I do?

How should I forget you?

Loving someone isn’t easy

Especially if they aren’t there with you.

I can’t even mourn you

You are not dead

You are living, breathing, happy.

Just without me

Living life, just without me

Is it sad it pains me to know you could be happy without me

That I rather know you died loving me and mourn you

Then know that you abandoned me

Without giving me a clue.

But I do not wish you death

Even when my heart lurch

Each time I think of you

I still do love you

I still wish you would be happy

I wish I could hate you more

So the love would finally be Swallowed up by hate.

But I can’t. I just can’t.

I tried a million, a million times I failed because of you

So I would continue loving you

And wishing you a happy life

Where you don’t have me by your side

Because that is love

No matter how much I resent

It would never trump the care

I have for you

Maybe I could hate myself for loving you

Because I need an outlet

To let all these negative feelings out of me of you.

I really wish I could forget you.

I hate you for hurting me

I love you for being you, seeing me and accepting me in return.

But I wish I never met you

So I wouldn’t have to feel this blinding ache in me when I think of you.

I really wish I could forget you.